Helping a girlfriend through a transition - Chocolate helps!

My thoughtful girlfriend Jennifer (from my entrepreneurial group in blog below), gave me this wonderful orange daisy chocolate to celebrate my leaving a job and moving forward toward my dreams. (Recognize the flower in the Girlfriendology logo?!) She wasn't the only girlfriend who marked this change in my career and life with a gift or card. My friend Katie (who is so dang thoughtful!) gave me a bottle of wine, some girlfriend gifts, cards and a note that was so sweet - I'll save it forever. My girlfriends Carole, Becky, Barb, Dana and Cath all shared meals with me last week (and bought - you kind, generous girlfriends!).

Even on her girlfriend weekend, my sweet girlfriend Ellen called from FL to ask how my last day was. Numerous emails and calls came from girlfriends near and far to mark this new chapter of my life. Each one showed their support and love - which I do not know what I would do without!

Thanks to all of you! Thanks for your friendship, love and support. And, thanks for being the inspiration for Girlfriendology. We can make the world a better place - one friendship at a time. THANKS GIRLFRIENDS!

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Springtime and thinking of girlfriendship!

I hope your day is beautiful and that you're enjoying a wonderful Saturday! I wanted to share this double gerbera daisy with you because it did remind me of friendship and, by supporting each other, we can grow strong and bloom.

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This message also was inspired by this week being Earth Day and how we should appreciate the living, growing, inspiring world around us (and keep it that way!). Listen in to DEBRA QUARTERMAIN and her reclaimed life on our latest podcast. She'll inspire you to be thankful for shopping!

Just a quick Thank You to a Girlfriend

At the very end of the work day today, something happened that really hurt me. I packed up my stuff and headed for home, still playing over the scenario in my mind. Normally, I would have arrived home and blown off a little steam by telling my husband the situation but today I had somewhere to go and somewhere that I needed to be mindfully present. My afterwork plans were very important to me on a personal level that warranted that I be completely engaged.

On the drive home, I called Tina. My friend Tina gets me. She knows my dreams and believes in me (and them). She maintains focus on the important things in life and helps me to strive for them too. Although she'd never believe it, she mentors me when I deal with important issues and cares about even the silly, little things in my life.

All in the course of a five minute call, I had a better outlook on things and an understanding of how petty the event was that happened at work. So many things are so much more important. Things like love, friendship, caring for others. Things like friends who believe in me and who listen and care.

Thanks Tina. On my drive home, you helped me steer clear of the petty issues and aim for the big stuff that matters, like dreams, hope, love.

Do you have a friend that can cheer you up and remind you of the important things in life? Are you that kind of friend to a girlfriend? Be a girlfriend. Call a girlfriend. Show how thankful you are for your girlfriends!

Hello from Paris!

Hi Girlfriends! Bonjour from PARIS! (Not KY!) Can I just tell you that even in this wild country, all I really want is my girlfriends to hang out with?! Tonight I snuck away from my coworkers and just went to the Eiffel Tower on my own and it was wonderful! (Aside from wishing you all were there!) Funny how being in a distant place will make you miss those people who are closest to your heart. (Like you girlfriends!) Nothing like being in a foreign country to make you appreciate those who you feel closest to!

So, BONJOUR my Amis! (Hello by Friends! - Actually check out our new products on Cafepress for a French/Friend design!) Can I just tell you how much I miss my girlfriends?! Cath, Becky, Deana, Terri, Paula, Tina, Judy, Bridget, Anne, etc. - I miss you and wish you were here!

Girlfriends Advice for New Year's Eve - guest columnist

I remember my single days and trying to make plans so I wouldn't be alone on New Year's Eve. It can be stressful or it can be a great time to get with girlfriends and others. Our guest columnist has more insight into this potentially 'unHappy' New Year...

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OH NO! IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, by Dr. Karen Gail Lewis

Single women (always been single and single again by virtue of divorce or death) tell me the two days they hate the most are December 31 and February 14 -- New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day.

Why? Because in our society, these are days specifically designed for people who have a special someone in their lives. They have become noted for lovers, people with partners, who will wine and dine them, gift them, spout poetry and love songs to them.

No doubt, you have noted that New Year’s Eve is coming up. Who says, though, the typical images of dancing beneath the stars, snuggling in front of a fire, kissing under the mistletoe are the only possibilities? Who says you have to see New Year’s Eve as an evening for lovers?

In my clinical experience with single women, I hear how painful this night is. Janice, an 'always single' woman told me, “I hide out, eating myself into oblivion while watching old love stories. Then I cry myself to sleep. I hope next December 31 will be different, which only makes me more miserable, since I recall having said that last December 31.”

Charleen, a divorced woman with three grown children, has a slightly different take. “I cry myself to sleep New Year’s Eve – after hours of remembering how wonderful it was in the early years with Jack, and later after he left, with my kids. We had such fun. I don’t miss him, but it’s really painful missing the fun and the closeness we had watching the ball drop. Now, no kids and no man. I HATE December 31.”

This year, try something different. Take charge of defining what New Year’s Eve should be. Be gentle and loving with yourself. Make it a gentle and loving evening, whether with good friends over or by yourself.

For instance, design this night for your closest women friends. Have everyone bring food and positive stories from the year that is ending. Have them bring items representing something they are looking forward to in the upcoming year. Forbid the mention of that three-letter word (men) - this evening is just for women you love, and for your hopes and plans for the coming year -- ones under your control. (It’s fine to dream about men, but you have no control in making an emotionally appropriate man appear in your life.)

Another example: Invite a group of friends over – women and men, couples/married and singles. With the exception of romantic newlyweds, many couples would be delighted to join you; they don’t have the same compunction singles do to have a “romantic” evening. Enjoy playing games, singing songs, telling stories. Be silly if you want. It’s your night; design it as you want.

For those who really want to be alone, make it a pleasant evening, not a hide-away or pity-party evening. Have your favorite dinner, listen to favorite music (avoid romantic songs), read a book or watch an old movie (not romantic ones). Plan a winter vacation, with friends or alone, something to give you pleasure. Consider a fun and life-changing weekend, like Unique Retreats for Single Women, joining like-minded singles for a new perspective of being single in a world that values marriage. However you choose to spend the evening of December 31, 2007, don’t let society’s prejudice about singles besmirch your night.
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For almost four decades, Dr. Karen Gail Lewis has been a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in singles. She has authored numerous books including With or Without a Man: Single Women Taking Control of Their Lives and its accompanying Workbook. Dr. Lewis also runs Unique Retreats for Women, with specifically designed weekends for single women, women ready for change, women married to powerful men, and women with their siblings. Her next teleseminar for single women begins in January. To contact her for information about this and your FREE 16 Golden Rules for Being Single, go to DrKarenGailLewis.com. Thanks Karen! And a HAPPY New Year to all of you girlfriends!!

My girlfriends have changed me for good ...

My college roommate and best friend, Barb (aka: Suzie - the code name for her in a bar if we didn't want to give away her real name!), inspires me with her thoughtfulness. She's a great listener, gift-giver (in fact, she could be up for this Month's Girlfriendology Contest!) and always makes my birthdays, meals together and our conversations special. In true Barb fashion, last week she brought me the soundtrack to Wicked so I could listen to it before seeing the play this past Saturday in Chicago.

If you haven't seen Wicked yet, I'd highly recommend it. It really is a 'girlfriend story' about Glinda and Elphaba (the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch). They form an unexpected and deep friendship that deals with several twists and turns along the way in Oz. Without ruining it for you, they share a very special song at the end about being friends. It made me cry (both in the car listening to the CD Barb gave me and during the live performance) because it so wonderfully shares the sentiment of girlfriends:

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

I know Barb (and the other girlfriends who bless my life) came into my life for a reason and that because I knew them, I have been changed for good. This being Thanksgiving, it is a perfect time to be thankful for girlfriends. Thanks Barb for your lifelong friendship. Thanks to you for reading. Take time to thank your wonderful female friends for how they've changed your life. And, make an effort to make your girlfriends' lives better by your friendship. Together we're all changed for good.

p.s. Do you have a girlfriend who's changed your life for good? Share about it in our Monthly Girlfriendology Contest or by adding comments to this blog. Inspire others. That's another great benefit of girlfriends!

Remembering a Girlfriend ... Celebrating Anne-Marie

It was a strange week. High and low points hitting on the same day. An emotional roller coaster kind of week. (Thankfully I have my girlfriends to join me on this wild ride called 'life!')

On a high point, it was my birthday and I got lots of calls, cards and attention. I had a fun lunch with my gal pal Becky ("the kitchen goddess" and hopefully the next Food Network Star!). After an art gallery visit, we had a very nice dinner with my roommate from college, Barb, and her husband Steve. There were gifts, quality time with friends and time to celebrate life and friendships. It was a good day. Well sort of ...

Several years ago I decided to have my long hair (below my waist since about second grade) cut off. It was pretty drastic and deserved some support which Anne-Marie and Cath offered. Cath arranged the appointment and went with me. Anne-Marie showed up with a brown paper bag. In it was a party! Wine, cheese, snacks - we had quite an afternoon at the salon! It made it memorable and fun. (And I donated my hair to Locks of Love so it benefited someone else.) I love the memories of that day and smile thinking back to that hair-cutting party in the salon with Anne-Marie and Cath.

As much as my girlfriend Cath didn't want to share the news with me on my birthday, she had to. I wanted to know. Our mutual friend Anne-Marie died on my birthday. Anne-Marie courageously fought Hodgkin's Lymphoma for six years. She was strong, sassy, friendly, funny and so caring.

Cath wins the great girlfriend award for being by her side for the final weeks of her life, as she had for the 18 previous years. She had some amazing conversations with both Anne-Marie and her family. She generously gave her time, love and support. In the end, there are sweet and sad memories to celebrate. But celebrate it is, because she was here to bless many, many lives.

I know with girlfriends, that generally the happy times far exceed the sad but I am thankful for and humbled by the gifts of love that girlfriends give each other. From spending time making something little like a haircut into a party, to holding onto each other during tough times. As shared in the most recent podcast (amazing stories of the winners of the recent Girlfriendology contest), girlfriends have been there for each other through loss of a spouse, moves and financial struggles, illness, etc. As challenging as life is, we really couldn't do it alone. We need our girlfriends.

If it is a birthday or a bad day, be there for your girlfriends. Happy or sad, healthy or not, loved or lonely - girlfriends make it much better. Try it. Share your life with a friend and allow her to share her 'real' life with you too. Hold onto the important things in life ... like the friend who is there for you no matter what. Celebrate your friendships and memories of wonderful people who bless your life. Thanks girlfriends. Thanks Anne-Marie and thanks Cath!

Allison Update - on a glorious summer-fall day

Everyone should be in Cincinnati today. You'd love it here! We finally had some rain this week after months (literally) of no rain. The summer's draught left brown grass, distressed trees and a very poor excuse for a flower garden. Gladly, as the seasons change, those memories fade and all that matters is a perfect cool but sunny day like today.

Allison is enjoying the beauty from her hospital room. She's doing well for all you who have been worrying and praying. Colleen (another walking girlfriend) and I visited her in ICU last night. She looked good, especially for having been through a complete body overhaul. Lee, her husband, said they even got her up to walk last night after we left which is great. She hopes to be moved to a regular room tonight.

So, she's healing. That takes time but it has started and she moves into the next phase of her life. She's not only a 'jock' but also a fighter, so we have plans to keep walking for years and years to come. (And sharing occasional glasses of wine together.)

Enjoy the beauty around you - friends, seasons, trees, home, pets, life. Thanks friends for sharing this amazing day with me.

Humbled, honored, blessed and loved by my Girlfriends

Last September, I bought a new Honda CRV. As soon as I started driving it, I noticed a few others in the neighborhood. Within a week, I saw silver Hondas all over town. It seemed like EVERYONE was driving a silver Honda CRV. I didn't notice it before, but now that I was looking for them, they were (and are) everywhere!

Now that I'm focusing on girlfriends and the benefits, joys and blessings of female friendship, I see examples of great girlfriends everywhere. My friend Penny who came over this morning to watch the women's World Cup Soccer. She shaved her head in solidarity with a friend going through chemo. She is my cheerleader and sister. My lawyer Tammy who sent me such a thoughtful gift recently. Ellen, my former neighbor, who even with a busy life and young sons, makes time to be with me. I could go on and on and on. (Laurie, Dana, Beth Anne, Lisa, Angie, Tina, Jill, Becky ... just a few of the women who have blessed my life this week.)

What I'm learning on this journey of "inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends," is that we really do need our girlfriends. I learn important lessons from them on a daily basis. And, I'm humbled by the kindness and thoughtfulness of my girlfriends.

To be honest with you, this focus on girlfriends often makes me feel like I'm not a very good one. (But I strive to be!) I should be more generous with my time and resources. I should always find the perfect gift and be there whenever my girlfriends need me. I wish I could anticipate my friends' needs, know when they need closeness or time alone, be able to read their minds and help them through life's bumps and foggy times.

Just because I started Girlfriendology and I 'preach' the wonderful benefits and blessings of girlfriends, it doesn't mean that I have it all together or that I'm the prime example of a perfect friend. But it does mean that I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm striving to be better and that's exactly what my goal is for Girlfriendology. Together we can make the world better, one friendship at a time. We can show our children and men how to care about and love each other. Our female friendships can span continents, cross racial lines, improve our quality (and quantity) of life and turn strangers into sisters.

I don't see as many silver Hondas as I did when my car was new. I don't really look for them and I'm okay with that. I don't ever want to overlook girlfriends - mine and other women's relationships with their female friends. I want to stay focused, to grow by learning about these loyal, loving people who just make life better. And, I want to always inspire, appreciate and celebrate the true blessings of girlfriends.

Thanks Penny, Tammy, Laurie and all my girlfriends. Thanks to you for reading this and caring about your girlfriends. I'd take any of you over a Honda any day!

A thoughtful, perfect present from a thoughtful, perfect Girlfriend

As I've blogged, the past three weeks have been so tough for us. We lost our sweet golden retriever Stella after a very quick illness. My girlfriends have shown their love and support through calls, emails, cards and gifts - and to each one, I am reminded how incredibly blessed I am with the best female friends. (And, I hope you feel the same way about your girlfriends!)

One friend, a fellow dog and cat lover, thoughtfully chose the perfect gift for us. This small angel statue with wire wings is carrying a (again perfectly!) golden puppy. Tears fell as soon as I opened the package and I knew that my friend Tammy had found the perfect gift just for me. And, I also knew that I would never look at that statue without thinking with love of her and our furry 'daughter' whom we so deeply miss.

There is something so special about a girlfriend who makes the time and effort to give perfect gifts. With Tammy, this gift shows how valued our friendship is, especially since she is a busy lawyer and she's never met Stella. This meaningful present will remind me each day of the girlfriend I strive to be - thoughtful and caring.

Thanks Tammy for your beautiful gift. Thanks for caring about me and for sharing in my pain - it does help. And thanks to all my other girlfriends who understood what we were, are and will go through. I strive to be a better girlfriend, because female friendship is so important. Not only to me, but through it I become a better friend and person to my female friends as well as my husband, guy friends, family and all others. Thanks Tammy for the blessing of your friendship. Thanks for being thoughtful and perfect. And, most of all, thank you for the valuable lesson I will remember from your example of a wonderful girlfriend.

p.s. GirlfriendologyToo is a blog for creative girlfriends. It shares lots of ideas and inspiration for girlfriend gifts and greetings you can make. Please visit it and share your ideas. That's how we learn and grow - from sharing between Girlfriends!

Girlfriends - We're a trend and a lifestyle! (No wonder we're so fun!)

Be on the look out! Girlfriend-themed products continue to be the BIG trend as reported by trade publication, Greetings Etc. in the Sept/Oct issue I just received. As they say (very much like the theme to Girlfriendology!), "Women have always known about it - that strong bond and sense of support they share with each other." There just is a special relationship between female friends and women are looking to events, products, cards, trips and all kinds of ways to celebrate this!

That's why you're here, right? Your girlfriends mean the world to you and you don't know what you'd do without them. Why not look for some girlfriend-themed products as a way of expressing your appreciation and showing them how special they are to you? Check out our Girlfriendology mugs, journals and wearables as well as our books, videos and other gifts. Visit GirlfriendologyToo if you'd like ideas on making gifts and greetings for your girlfriends. Or just write an email, make a call or hug a friend. Then come back here and share. Your comments may inspire another woman to show her girlfriend the appreciation she deserves.

Happy National Women's Friendship Day!

Holidays are meant to remind us of things ... of Veteran's who have fought and died for our freedom, for our Nation's Independence, of being thankful for what we have. Today is one of those day. Not Thanksgiving, but a very similar sentiment. Today we pay homage to the wonderful gift of women's friendships.

National Women's Friendship Day was started in 1999 by Kappa Delta Sorority as a way of stopping our busy lives to celebrate our female friendships. (Thanks Kappa Delta!)

My NWFD celebration is later tonight. Current and past members of my girlfriend's group are getting together for dinner. Some will meet for the first time, others will catch up on events since we last were together. All of us will laugh, possibly cry, eat, share and forge friendships that may last for the rest of our lives.

I'm honored to be in this group. Each person has taught me so much and shown me love and understanding, as well as being supportive of my Girlfriendology dreams and my personal life (like missing our sweet dog Stella). So to each of you, I say THANKS.

Thanks JILL for inviting me to the group. For being a friend, for making me smile and for your passion to make life better for your friends and city.

Thanks PAULA M for inviting us into your home. Your generous hospitality is so appreciated and we love feeling at home in your home. (Heck, Melody's planning to move in!)

Thanks BECKY for so often feeding us and for your group leadership. Your passion for your girlfriends (and your pups!) is a wonderful example for all of us.

Thanks MELODY for reminding us why we make time for each other - that girlfriends are worth it. I am impressed with your sincere love for us and always amused by your great sense of humor!

Thanks RUTH SARA for staying with the group even through moves, travel and changes in your life. You're such a blessing to me and the group.

Thanks LYNN for making me feel part of the group right away. Thanks too for your compassion and understanding over Stella. (I'm glad you and Eddy found each other!)

Thanks PAULA G for joining us this year and for your friendship. I'm blessed and impressed with your passion for South Africa and for your family and friends.

Thanks DEBBIE for being so dedicated to your passion (running) and for helping others. I'll always remember your 50 mile run on your 50th b'day - you inspire me!

Thanks JUDY for joining the group. I also appreciate that you've participated in our girlfriends entrepreneurial group. Thanks for your ideas, support and for sharing life with us.

Thanks TINA for your faith and wonderful perspective. I learn so much from you - from relationships to entrepreneurial solutions. You have blessed my life.

Now your turn - go tell your girlfriends why you love and appreciate them! Happy National Women's Friendship Day! Hugs, me

Girlfriends, Sisters, Mothers ... Women who bless our lives

My friend Laurie just sent me the following "chain email." I usually don't read, much less resend, those but this one is about girlfriends and all the wonderful women in our lives who bless, love, accept, inspire and encourage us.

Instead of passing this along in a mass email, I'll share it with you. As you read it, think about the special women in your life and how much they mean to you. Tomorrow is National Women's Friendship Day. Call up your girlfriends, or visit, have dinner together, send an eCard or greeting card, etc. Take time out for the special women who bless your life with their friendship and love. (Thanks Laurie!)

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.

Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.
BUT........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did.

More Girlfriends - More Thanks! More Blessings!

This has been a tough week. Our great golden, Stella, had to be put to sleep a week ago today and nothing seems the same as when she was such a part of our life. Our sleeping and eating, laughter and tears, coming and going are all different now.

The one stabilizing constant is our friends. Girlfriends, neighbors, coworkers, family ... so many have sent cards, wrote emails, left flowers, mailed gifts, etc. It has been so comforting to know that they care about us and understand the grief of losing a beloved family pet.

Specifically I'd like to thank just a few of our friends for their thoughtfulness:

* Bridget - our former neighbor who recently had family sadness to deal with, still made the effort to write a beautiful note and leave us some chocolate and wine (which, in keeping with her/my/Stella's hair color was a "Redhead Red")

* Liz & Jeff, Nikki & Todd, Shelley & Dave - neighbors who have dogs and understand our sadness, left flowers and cards

* Ellen & Doug - former neighbors and wonderful friends who we called with the news because they loved Stella too. They sent a very thoughtful and yummy gift from their cabin in northern Michigan.

* Anne, Penny, Becky, Dana & Bear - who spent time with us comforting and serving as a much needed distraction and respite

Too many to name them all but each of them special and loved. We still are sad but with friends like these, we know we are blessed beyond measure. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for caring, thoughtfulness and your kindness.

Pet your animals. Rescue/adopt a stray. Call a friend. Write a note. Give a hug. Count your blessings. Thanks friends!

The girlfriends in your life and the special blessings they bring

Greetings from Minneapolis where I used to live. It has been eight years since I moved, but still my girlfriends go out of their way to maintain the friendships. (And I feel so blessed!)

This morning we had brunch with our friends Terri and Bill who also invited Lisa and Todd to join us for a fabulous meal. Terri didn't look at this event selfishly, as a time for us to just be together. She, always being thoughtful and so kind, invited others to share in the special event of friends being together.

I so much love that about Terri. She is one of the most thoughtful girlfriends I know. She always thinks of the most personalized acts and gifts. She goes out of her way to bring friends together and to make girlfriends feel special. Terri always gives thoughtful gifts, adds something to a menu that is special just for me/us or takes time to create a special event just to make others feel loved and appreciated. She inspires me to be a better friend.

Each girlfriend in my life offers different blessings. Amy and Kate (sisters and very dear friends) had us over for dinner tonight with a dozen of our friends (including great girlfriends Cara, Chandra, Sue, Barb, Kathy and Patty) which made it a memorable and wonderful evening. Cath sent me a hilarious story on herself today which cracked me up. Christy invited me into her home this afternoon in the midst of carpet shampoo'ing (and child 'potty' issues!) to spend time just catching up on life.

As I time looking at my girlfriends and what I learn from them, I recognize that I am nothing without them. To Barb, my creative, spiritual, loving 'sister' to Amy, my forever friend and inspiration, I am blessed with amazing girlfriends.

What can you learn from your girlfriends? In what ways do they bless you? What amazing women do you have in your life that you need to appreciate and celebrate?! Do it! Plan events with your girlfriends. Send notes to say Thank You. Call them just to check in on their lives. Show them that you love and appreciate them. Girlfriends are a blessing and, if you have a great group of girlfriends, you're truly blessed!