Girlfriend Get-togethers - time with friends

Is your schedule stretched to capacity? Overwhelmed with your To Do list? Exhausted just thinking about what all you have/need to do? Or am I the only one?

Right now I'm stressed. I want to spend time on Girlfriendology but I have multiple jobs right now - not including home responsibilities, taking care of the new pup, etc. I have to set boundaries on my time because it is just such a valuable, limited commodity at this point in my life.

This week was hectic at the job (and I haven't even taken down the holiday decorations yet!) but I knew spending Wednesday night with my girlfriends was a priority, no matter what. My girlfriend group was getting together at Paula's candle-lit home for a salad pitch-in dinner and to catch up on life. Ruth Sara was still in town which was perfect! Judy climbed up the street to make it. Joyce was new and Debbie was back after a hiatus. (Becky and Melody were sick - hope you're better soon! Tina is moving her dad this week. We missed you!)

Six women gathered around the table to share a meal and our lives. Connections were made (like Joyce and Debbie realizing they had a very personal connection at a funeral three years ago) and plans were set (future dinners together, running into each other on an upcoming trip, etc.). The food, a contribution 'salad bar,' was perfect for New Year's diets (even with all the treats Paula tempted us with!).

However the real nourishment was to our female spirits. We laughed, teared up, shared our frustrations, disappointments*, goals, secrets, joys. My stress floated away in the positive energy in that special home. It was a healing evening. A hopeful gathering. A female 'family' who do life together. And I don't know what I'd do without these caring, beautiful girlfriends.

Are you stressed? Dealing with life? Who better to 'do life' with than your girlfriends?! This month's Girlfriendology contest asks for your comments on Girl's Night Out events or just Girlfriend Gatherings. Please share. Your ideas and advice will inspire others. And think how much better life would be with less stress and more time with girlfriends!

* Caroline Cheshire of HealingBaskets.com shared great advice for caring for friends in her recent podcast with Girlfriendology. Listen in for advice on how to help your girlfriends deal with life and be the girlfriend to them you want to be.

Sisters, neighbors, coworkers, moms, yoga/running friends ... all kinds of Girlfriends

Here's the girlie-girl way of looking at it ... You have pumps, tennis/walking shoes, platforms, boots, sandals, flip flops, Crocks(tm!), etc. in your closet, right? Guys may look at is as just a room full of shoes and think that they are silly and unnecessary. Women see it as the basics of getting dressed and feeling good about your personal style.

In the girlfriend world, there are close friends you've known since school or new neighbors on the street. Women you work with to friends of friends you've met and run into at the grocery store. Coworkers who become friends outside of work and women you see at yoga or book club. Look around and you'll most likely see a variety of girlfriends at different stages of friendship, with unique qualities and a variety of things in common. It's a wonderful world of girlfriends! Kinda like having a selection of shoes - you have lots of options for women with whom to share your life.

Still in Minnesota visiting friends, I had dinner with my girlfriend Amy last night. Amy is dating, I'm married. Amy has a corporate job, I'm entrepreneurial. Amy lives in the cold north(!), I live in the mid-west. She's a world traveler, I dream of being (and have had some very fun international adventures with her!). But get us together and we have so much in common and so much fun.

What type 'shoe' is her friendship??? Last night after dinner I thought about that. Our conversation ranged from her recent dating adventures to my entrepreneurial dreams. From common friends to philosophies on perspectives of life. I very much respect her opinion, welcome her advice and appreciate her friendship.

Our interaction reflected what I feel is so important about girlfriends and why I started Girlfriendology. I think if we girlfriends 'put our heads together' and help each other through life, that we all learn and benefit from each other. After talking with Amy, I felt stronger for having her support and friendship. Not that we focused on any negative issues but life can be stressful. Together I felt we each contributed problem-solving ideas or creative solutions to hopefully benefit each of us in reaching our dreams. And, thinking like shoes, (and I hope she sees this as a compliment!) to me our interaction was kind of like workboots. Very functional and productive, the "git-r done" type interaction that I love and benefit so much from.

Have a problem? Talk to a girlfriend. Want to do something fun? Call up a girlfriend. Need to laugh or share a great story? Go see a girlfriend. Stressed over life? Have dinner with a girlfriend. Together we make a great pair (or lots of pairs, like that shoe analogy!). After all, aren't girlfriends the perfect accessory?! Thanks Amy for being such a great girlfriend and for sharing life (and solutions/ideas!) with me! Big hugs!!!


p.s. If you're into the above shoes, you might be a "Desperate Housewives" fan. They're on Seenon.com.

Having great Girlfriends is as stylish as ... Heather Locklear?

On Wednesday evening at our weekly girlfriend group meeting, I announced that I needed a haircut but had no idea what to do. As someone who had long hair (that I cut myself) almost my entire life, I'm not well versed in how to find a good haircut much less how to direct a hair stylist. In fact, I've only paid for my hair to be cut about five or six times - in my life! I'm a novice and I severely needed girlfriend advice. And, knowing that I was planning to go back to the salon school where students cut hair, I wanted to give great direction in order to get a good cut.

Thankfully my girlfriends came to the rescue! Becky thought layers would help my hair curl. Tina even sent me this Heather Locklear celebrity photo as well as great stylist tips -point tips, no razor, etc. Other girlfriends also gave advice. Karen told me the right products to use to bring out the curl. Lisa warned about getting layers cut too short.

I cautiously presented the celebrity hairstyle to my stylist/student April. Would it be too difficult for a student? Could I expect a somewhat complicated cut for $10? And, would they think I was delusional and actually thought I'd look exactly like Heather Locklear when I left there?!

But, I felt like I had my girlfriends with me. I explained to April and her instructor that the hairstyle and advice came from my girlfriends. They understood and came up with a plan. A few hours later, I walked out with a very nice cut. I'm no Heather Locklear (it would take several million dollars of plastic surgery and a small miracle for that!) but I can't wait to go show my girlfriends. In fact, I'm going to see Tina this afternoon at her pillow shop. I'm sure she'll approve.

Sure, in the big scheme of things - haircuts are minor (well, kind-of!). Aren't you glad girlfriends are there for the little and the BIG stuff? Where would we be without girlfriends? Lonely, bored, poorly dressed and with a bad hair cut?

Girlfriends are instant face(and attitude)-lifts, as well as always making it a good hair day! Female friends reduce stress, make us healthier and happier. And, girlfriends are great for giving advice and for helping us through little and big life decisions. Be the girlfriend you want to be! Make your girlfriends feel special, loved and beautiful. You'll come out feeling as stylish as Heather Locklear, without those pesty paparazzi!

How clean does your house need to be for girlfriends?

Hmmm ... what are your thoughts? Do girlfriends feel welcome in your home at any time and in any condition? Do YOU feel comfortable with visiting female friends when you haven't mopped in too long to remember? Can girlfriends just stop by without warning?

My girlfriends are coming over tomorrow night. Yep, I'm blogging and Paula, Becky, Judy, Melody, Ruth Sara and Tina will be here this time tomorrow night. Yes, I could clean but I also know that they love me regardless of cobwebs and pet hair. (Plus I can hide some of the mess in closets and behind shut doors!)

Isn't it wonderful when you have female friends who are family? They can make themselves at home, know where the bathroom is and where to find paper if it runs out!

Invite your girlfriends over and don't worry about how clean things are or aren't. Girlfriends are meant to relieve stress, not cause it. Just enjoy your time together. You'll be so glad you did - and that you didn't need to clean after all!

Entrepreneurial Girlfriends & Reducing Stress!

Great things happen when you share what is on your mind and in your dreams with other girlfriends!

At our monthly entrepreneurial girlfriends group today, Judy confessed that her creative brain is always busy and she has LOTS of ideas for businesses she could start. (And, she's right!)

From someone who knows personally, creative women sometimes get overwhelmed with innovative ideas and an excess of dreams. And, add a busy life with a full-time job, family and trying to follow our dreams 'on the side,' and you can end up with a whole mess of stress!

Meeting with other girlfriends and discussing your ideas, challenges and dreams is therapeutic. It just feels much better to know that others struggle with the same things and that encouragement and feedback are offered with a loving voice.

Thanks Judy for sharing your dreams and for helping me on my way to mine. I look forward to being your girlfriend through whatever creative, entrepreneurial roads we follow. I feel better, lighter and more focused - thanks to you!

Do you meet with your girlfriends to discuss your dreams? If not, should you?! Add a comment if you have a dream you'd like to get input on from helpful, caring female friends or tell about girlfriend groups and how they've helped you. I bet your stress level is much lower because of your great gal pals!

* Sorry about the bad photo Judy! I'm just learning how to work my new phone camera! I'll get you another time! Check out Judy's blogs: PublishSmart and Blind Hog Press.

Bartering ideas and dreams ... the girlfriend way.

I offered to pay my friend Karen for consulting. She has knowledge that I want, so of course I wanted to compensate her for that - as I should. She, being the sweetheart that she is, suggested that we meet for dinner and I could buy and she could share. What a perfect barter!

Dinner tonight was informative and interesting, filling and fun! I believe we both had a wonderful evening. We shared goals/strategies that I know we'll cheer for each other for years to come.

Do you have a girlfriend you trust and admire their opinion? Invite them to dinner to give you a new perspective on things. Or, if you have a friend who needs some encouragement in reaching their dreams (and you're the positive, supportive friend who can help!), plan time together - soon.

Girlfriends don't age - they reduce age (and they reduce stress!). Girlfriends don't discourage - they stand up and cheer for you even when you don't feel like there is anything to feel good about. Be the girlfriend you want to be! (Thanks Karen!!)

Guaranteed Stress Reliever - seriously!

It has been a stressful week. Employee/boss issues (not fun!), having too much to do and not enough time to do what I really want to do (build Girlfriendology!), and family challenges combined for an elevated stress level.

UCLA researcher Shelley Taylor (author of The Tending Instinct) and her team studied stress in women. (Previous studies were only on men!) They found that oxytocin is released with stress. For men, the response is 'fight or flight.' For women it is much different. Women react to stress with a need to 'tend and befriend.' We want to tend to our young and be with our girlfriends. (My oxytocin level was HUGE this past week!)

Thursday night was our monthly women-only book club. We shared appetizers, desserts, sangria and some (albeit minimal!) discussion of the book. Mostly we 'befriend' each other. Our conversations cover new restaurants nearby, houses bought/sold on the street, funny stories of kids, helpful things like a good handyman or special event in the neighborhood. If the windows are open, our laughter is heard several houses away. We even share sad, difficult news - because life is that way too sometimes.

At the end of an always fun evening, we return to our homes with tales of neighbors and community updates. 'Magically' my mind had left the stressful work worries and other challenges. I was renewed in my passion for creating Girlfriendology and hoping to help women build community with each other - as a priority and a fabulous biological characteristic of women.

I didn't get The Tending Instinct on the book list for next month, however I did experience the stress relief that comes only from being with my girlfriends. Thanks wonderful women of East Hyde Park for reducing my oxytocin level and for being the kind of girlfriends who really make this community home.