What are YOUR girlfriend resolutions for 2008?

It's 11:28pm on Dec. 31. I should be cleaning for our brunch in the morning or helping my husband cut/saute veggies, but I'm not. I'm going public with my '08 goals - which, to be honest, is kinda scary. What if I set goals and don't hit them? What if they go by the wayside and my friends know?

Well, fortunately, my girlfriends understand and trust me to do what is the best thing. Unlike some, they support my dreams and encourage me - even when they don't always understand what I'm doing. Tina, Jill, Lisa, Katie, Julie, Cindy, Paula, Becky, Judy, Dana, Barb, Deana, Rhonda, Laurie ... too many to list. They know me, they trust me and they support me.

If this was my version of "It's a Wonderful Life," it would show what my life would be like without the love, support and encouragement of my girlfriends. I'd ignore my dreams and stay in a job that doesn't thrill me. I'd settle for things and I'd never stretch myself. My life would be in black and white, never living in 'living color' or reaching my potential.

I dream of 2008 as a year of striving for that - for my dreams, my goals, my mission in life. I want to be a better girlfriend - to remember birthdays, give meaningful gifts, to make my girlfriends feel as special as their friendship is to me. I strive to be thoughtful like my friend Terri, giving like Becky and supportive like Tina. I want to be the type of friend that I so appreciate like Barb, learn and laugh with like Jill, that helps their girlfriends like my mentor group of Katie and Lisa.

What would your life be like without your girlfriends? With whom would you share your dreams, fears, stories? How would your life be different? Think about it and you're sure to further strengthen your appreciation of girlfriends!

Thanks to all of you - and thanks to you whom I don't know, but who are friends to others with your support and encouragement. I hope 2008 is a time of friendship, actually 'girlfriendship' - and that your dreams come true. Happy New Year Girlfriends!

Girlfriends Advice for New Year's Eve - guest columnist

I remember my single days and trying to make plans so I wouldn't be alone on New Year's Eve. It can be stressful or it can be a great time to get with girlfriends and others. Our guest columnist has more insight into this potentially 'unHappy' New Year...

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OH NO! IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, by Dr. Karen Gail Lewis

Single women (always been single and single again by virtue of divorce or death) tell me the two days they hate the most are December 31 and February 14 -- New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day.

Why? Because in our society, these are days specifically designed for people who have a special someone in their lives. They have become noted for lovers, people with partners, who will wine and dine them, gift them, spout poetry and love songs to them.

No doubt, you have noted that New Year’s Eve is coming up. Who says, though, the typical images of dancing beneath the stars, snuggling in front of a fire, kissing under the mistletoe are the only possibilities? Who says you have to see New Year’s Eve as an evening for lovers?

In my clinical experience with single women, I hear how painful this night is. Janice, an 'always single' woman told me, “I hide out, eating myself into oblivion while watching old love stories. Then I cry myself to sleep. I hope next December 31 will be different, which only makes me more miserable, since I recall having said that last December 31.”

Charleen, a divorced woman with three grown children, has a slightly different take. “I cry myself to sleep New Year’s Eve – after hours of remembering how wonderful it was in the early years with Jack, and later after he left, with my kids. We had such fun. I don’t miss him, but it’s really painful missing the fun and the closeness we had watching the ball drop. Now, no kids and no man. I HATE December 31.”

This year, try something different. Take charge of defining what New Year’s Eve should be. Be gentle and loving with yourself. Make it a gentle and loving evening, whether with good friends over or by yourself.

For instance, design this night for your closest women friends. Have everyone bring food and positive stories from the year that is ending. Have them bring items representing something they are looking forward to in the upcoming year. Forbid the mention of that three-letter word (men) - this evening is just for women you love, and for your hopes and plans for the coming year -- ones under your control. (It’s fine to dream about men, but you have no control in making an emotionally appropriate man appear in your life.)

Another example: Invite a group of friends over – women and men, couples/married and singles. With the exception of romantic newlyweds, many couples would be delighted to join you; they don’t have the same compunction singles do to have a “romantic” evening. Enjoy playing games, singing songs, telling stories. Be silly if you want. It’s your night; design it as you want.

For those who really want to be alone, make it a pleasant evening, not a hide-away or pity-party evening. Have your favorite dinner, listen to favorite music (avoid romantic songs), read a book or watch an old movie (not romantic ones). Plan a winter vacation, with friends or alone, something to give you pleasure. Consider a fun and life-changing weekend, like Unique Retreats for Single Women, joining like-minded singles for a new perspective of being single in a world that values marriage. However you choose to spend the evening of December 31, 2007, don’t let society’s prejudice about singles besmirch your night.
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For almost four decades, Dr. Karen Gail Lewis has been a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in singles. She has authored numerous books including With or Without a Man: Single Women Taking Control of Their Lives and its accompanying Workbook. Dr. Lewis also runs Unique Retreats for Women, with specifically designed weekends for single women, women ready for change, women married to powerful men, and women with their siblings. Her next teleseminar for single women begins in January. To contact her for information about this and your FREE 16 Golden Rules for Being Single, go to DrKarenGailLewis.com. Thanks Karen! And a HAPPY New Year to all of you girlfriends!!

TIP TUESDAY #7 - Favorite gift you received from a girlfriend this holiday

First, forgive me. This is TIP TUESDAY - on a Thursday! That's what holidays and a new puppy will do to a girl! (The pup is great - I just want to spend all my time with him while he's still a pup!)

I just read some 'blog marketing' articles and one mentioned that your blog needs to 'provide a solution.' Well, if there is one thing girlfriends do for each other is provide solutions - we help each other through all kinds of problems and situations with creative ideas and recommendations. So, we're right on track with TIP TUESDAY (especially when we all share comments!).

Girlfriends ARE gifts, so we'd like to hear from you for this week's TIP TUESDAY question:

What is your favorite gift you received from a girlfriend this holiday?

I love hearing others' comments so that I can improve my gift giving skills - so
please add a comment - we want to hear from you!

I'll start ... My creative friend Jill gave me a meaningful book for creative women (so I know I'll love it!). Terri, my always thoughtful friend, gave me some "olives" (that are really chocolate covered almonds, since she knows I don't like olives but I do like chocolate and almonds!) as well as Eat Pray Love, another book I've heard about and need to read. My friend Tina gave me a beautiful pair of earrings to replace the ones I bought previously that I lost one of - how sweet was that! (Other girlfriends gave great gifts too - THANKS to all of you - especially for the GIFT of your friendship!)

What do all these gifts have in common? They were specifically selected for ME! Did your girlfriends do a great job of finding gifts that were perfect for YOU? Share your COMMENTS and help us all be better girlfriend gift givers!

What do you do when the holidays aren't happy for your girlfriends?

I love the holidays. Even though it is a very hectic, crazy time of year, I love the lights, get-togethers with friends, anticipation of a New Year. All this energizes and excites me. Receiving cards from long-time friends, trying to find/make special gifts for friends and family, Christmas Trees, Silent Nights ... to me it is wonderous time of year.

To some of my girlfriends it isn't. One of my girlfriends is having a really rough time. Her husband just lost his job, and in his 60's, they weren't ready to retire. It puts so much strain on her. You can tell it by her eyes, her attitude, her whole composure. Another girlfriend (from college) dropped me a change of address card - because she and her husband are separated. And yet another college girlfriend and her husband are living apart this Christmas and unsure of what 2008 will bring them. Some girlfriends are dealing with cancer, chemo, not feeling their happy, wonderful selves.

I feel for my girlfriends. For the stress that the holidays can bring combined with the uncertainty and, possibly fear, that 2008 won't be so great. I wish I had words and ways to make it all better. I wish I could give them 'hope.'

Dear Friends who are hurting - please know that you are loved, valued, admired, trusted and beautiful. Your friendship is a gift, and for that I am so thankful. I pray that you do find hope - that you appreciate the things that you do have, that you learn through your experiences and feel stronger for having done so. Even if you can't feel happy or healthy, I wish for you a peaceful holiday and a 2008 where you find love, laughter, joy and hope. Thank you for blessing me with your friendship.

Do you have a girlfriend you need to care for? We're here to take care of each other. Reach out and tell them that you love them, that you're there for them and that you'll still be there throughout whatever life brings along. Be a friend. Bring hope. Share love. Peace.

Cheesy, I know. But puppies do bring happiness. Meet our new little one (coming this Saturday) - Meet Brando. Named in honor of our Stella. I wish I could give you all puppies!

TIP TUESDAY #7 - Favorite Book(s) to give or receive from a Girlfriend

All of us have special interest, hobbies, passions - right! That's what makes us interesting, creative, fun and fun to buy books for! So, I thought it would be great to hear from you on Tip Tuesday for the best girlfriend books. The Holidays are a great time to give books as gifts - especially when you give books that perfectly match your girlfriends' interests.

So, this week's TIP TUESDAY question is:

What is your favorite book(s) to give to a girlfriend?

Please add a comment - we want to hear from you! Tip Tuesday questions always make me think of my ideas, so I'll get us started. Without giving away any specific gifts I'm giving (since my girlfriends read this!):

My thoughtful girlfriend Renee gave me this book, I read it and passed it along to my friend Lisa who will then read and give to another girlfriend - Law of Attraction, by Michael Losier

My girlfriend Katie Hacker (who just inspired us on our recent podcast) wrote this book and donated several for the "Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway" (and I just bought one for my niece!) - Hip to Bead

Our first podcast featured best-selling author Kris Radish who has written several great girlfriend books. I'd definitely recommend any Kris Radish book. (I highly recommend "The Elegant Gathering of the White Snows" about women who just start walking and talking - great book!)

Author Cathy Hamilton (the Boomer Girl) is going to talk with Girlfriendology for a special New Year's Day podcast. Her creative words have formed so many great Cathy Hamilton books - like the Girlfriends' Bible, Boomer Girl, Momisms, etc. (Great girlfriend, mom, sister, coworker gifts!)

Other books I've given in the past or enjoyed receiving: The Success Principles, How to Get from Where Your Are to Where You Want to be - by Jack Canfield. (Actually I've given this and love having it on CDs that I listen to often.) Another podcast girlfriend - the Crafty Chica herself (Kathy Cano Murillo) - Art de la Soul - Glittery Ideas to Liven Up Your Life. Other ideas?

Look for more books and share your ideas with girlfriends! You might just inspire a gift from one of your girlfriends!



Happy Holidays Creative Girlfriends!

Katie Hacker - a girlfriend who inspires me (and also you!)

Do your girlfriends inspire you? One might be a runner or walker, so you decide to do a half marathon. Another girlfriend may be a wonderful chef, which inspires you to try new recipes. Your knitting girlfriend teaches you and soon you're a knitting girlfriend too! I love that about girlfriends. Together we have more fun, learn more and become more 'ourselves' through our female friends.

My girlfriend KATIE HACKER is inspiring. She has written more than 20 craft books including Hip to Bead, Katie's Basics of Beading and 30-Minute Beading. She also presents Beading Lessons on the PBS show Beads, Baubles & Jewels, is a columnist for Simply Beads magazine and teaches workshops at national conventions like the Bead & Button Show. Although her specialty is beading, she does lots of other crafts as well and she has some great ideas for crafting with and for your girlfriends.

Listen to our NEW podcast with Katie and she'll inspire you - to craft for and with your girlfriends, to make time for your friends, to connect with your girlfriends through the internet and just to be more comfortable with your own creativity!

Check out Katie's blog for updates, creative ideas and her recent Ornament Round Robin (where creative women all made ornaments and share their ideas - the final one will happen this Thursday).

Do you have girlfriends who do inspire you? Please share with Girlfriendology in our December CONTEST - which asks for stories on girlfriends you're thankful for. Please share. Spread the girlfriend gratitude! Honor your girlfriend by telling others how much she inspires you! (and win prizes in the Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway!)

Ornament ideas - Girlfriends linking together

My girlfriend Katie Hacker is a beading superstar. She has written over 20 books, writes creative columns in beading magazines, teaches classes at national shows and on PBS (Beads, Baubles & Jewels), etc. More than that, to me, she's a superstar friend. She is part of my girlfriend mastermind group (along with the wonderful Lisa Galvin!) and just a fun friend!

This week she invited me to participate in a round robin blog event where a bunch of girlfriends have shared crafty ideas for making ornaments. I posted mine on GirlfriendologyToo (the blog for the creative side of girlfriends) but some may have posted to this site - sorry for the inconvenience. If you'd like to see a list of over 20 ornament idea links, visit GirlfriendologyToo.

Katie is that kind of friend - who will help me promote my site, who will include me in fun events, who is there for me as I grow my business. She is a young mom with a beautiful daughter, amazing creative talent, unlimited kindness and wisdom past her years. I'm very blessed to call her friend.

You'll have the opportunity to hear more about and from Katie on the next Podcast. We'll talk this weekend and share it with you. Come back and here her comments on crafting with and for girlfriends, how she maintains girlfriendships even living in a rural community (she and her husband have an organic farm too) and other bits of wisdom from this creative, fun, kind friend. Thanks Katie!

TIP TUESDAY #6 - What's your advice for holiday cards and letters?

If you receive our Girlfriendology newsletter, you know WHO is our upcoming January 1 Podcast "Boomer Star." She's creative, funny, inspiring and you'll trust her. She gets girlfriends, especially those of the boomer variety!

Do you ever wish someone would tell your friends and family the truth at the holidays? That there might be a better way of doing things, but of course you can't say anything because you'd never want to hurt their feelings. Well, let our Jan. 1 podcast star tell them for you!

Read her article on writing holiday letters, then send it along to a friend. And, while you're being honest and sharing, please also comment on this blog for your thoughts on:

What tips for holiday cards and letters do YOU have?

Should they be short? Long? Lots of photos? Do you want/need to know their medical abnormalities or thoughts on if stone-washed jeans will make a come back? Interested in their favorite reality shows and their family outing to the local zoo?

Here's your chance to share your thoughts, then share this blog with girlfriends who may need it or just will enjoy it!

And, while you're sharing, don't forget to mention our December Girlfriendology Contest and Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway! We'd love to share a prize with you, just for telling us why you're thankful for your girlfriend(s). We're thankful you're here!

My Favorite Girlfriend Gift ...

For the November Girlfriendology Contest, we asked: What is your favorite gift to give to, or receive from, a girlfriend?

I started thinking about my favorite gifts for and from girlfriends ... scarfs Dana has knit for me, jewelry Terri gave me, a beautiful plant from Deana and a thoughtful 'dog angel' sculpture this year when our golden retriever died, how Barb let me live with her family for six months when we were moving ... lots of girlfriend gift memories hug me with love from my faithful and fabulous female friends. I am truly blessed.

Lots of inspiring stories came in for the contest. Several won prizes - like a Starbucks gift certificate to take their girlfriend out for coffee on Girlfriendology. Not everyone could win prizes so we came up with the "Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway" for December. These inspirational insights deserve to be heard and celebrated.

And heard they are ... the Podcast with all the great girlfriend stories is now online. Listen in for stories from Cherie, Beth, Rochelle and Unita. Get ideas from Robin, Christine, Jenny, Heather and Veronica. Inspired? I'm sure you will be, and hopefully you will be to the point that you share in our current Contest and "Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway." This month, being a season of gratitude and love, we ask what girlfriends you're thankful for and why. Please share. You'll inspire someone else to be a better friend. Think of the ripple effect that could have! Thanks Girlfriends!

TIP TUESDAY #5 - What's your last minute holiday shopping tip?

Today is my husband's birthday. I don't think they should let women have babies in December - it is too hard to come up with presents for that and for the holidays! "I don't need anything," he tells me. Well, that sure helps make shopping easy!

In addition to him and other family members, I am blessed with great girlfriends and need to shop for (or make) gifts for them. With extremely limited budget and time, my stress level starts to rise.

I've mentioned this book before but it comes to mind ... In The Tending Instinct, by Shelley Taylor, stress tests done on women show that we respond with "tend and befriend." Shopping is getting stressful, so I'm looking to my girlfriends for HELP!

This week's TIP TUESDAY question is:

"What shopping secrets do you have for hard-to-buy-for girlfriends and others?"

One of the best gifts of "girlfriendship" is that we learn so much from each other. Please, be a "Santa," and share your shopping secrets! Thanks girlfriends! Happy Shopping!!

p.s. Speaking of "gifts," this is the month of the Girlfriendology "Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway." While you won't receive them in time to put them under the tree, you will have a nice gift for yourself or a friend in '08.

New Girlfriendology Podcast impacts you or one of your girlfriends!

I was amazed at the facts. 5-10% of young girls/women in the U.S. are challenged by food disorders. 3.5% of women struggle with Binge Eating Disorder. And a whole bunch of us deal with body image, self esteem and emotional eating. We need help - right?

Well, fortunately one of my girlfriends is ELLEN SHUMAN. She is the Director of the Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment Programs and A Weigh Out Life Coaching. She coaches clients from around the world, via phone, on emotional eating issues. Ellen has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and one of her coaching clients was featured in this past August’s issue of O Magazine in an article entitled “Stuffed.”

Ellen helped us see that, as girlfriends, we can and HAVE TO shift the diet and size-ism paradigm to a "healthy at any size" attitude. Listen to our podcast for the full information and check out Ellen's web site www.aweighout.com. She also offers regular free teleconferences on emotional eating (see her web site for info).

Girlfriends do make a difference in many, many lives. Share this podcast and Ellen's site with your girlfriends. Also, don't let the media impact our self esteem or body image. You love your girlfriend regardless of a number, right? Good! (Thanks Ellen - that was really fun!)

Contest Winner Poem - Does this remind you of your girlfriends?

You know that great feeling when you find the perfect gift for your best friend? And the joy you feel when you receive a present from your girlfriend that shows how special her friendship is to you! Girlfriends ARE gifts, and it is a wonderful thing when girlfriends GIVE thoughtful, special, memorable gifts!

Each month Girlfriendology has a contest for girlfriend stories. The theme changes every month and the November contest, in preparation for the holidays, was on 'gifts.' What gifts have you given to/received from a girlfriend that was special?

Thankfully lots of women wrote in with AMAZING STORIES. From simple acts of kindness to creative gifts, from thoughtful expressions of friendship to personalized presents that recognized their special day - it was inspiring! (Just in time for holiday shopping!)

The only negative to this monthly contest is not being able to give EVERYONE a prize* because there were many, many wonderful stories!. It was really tough judging the monthly Girlfriendology Contest!

Listen to the podcast (that will be posted soon!) to hear all the stories - the winners and those who still are winners because they are/have great girlfriends!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the November Girlfriendology Contest! Winners are: Christine - for her Thanksgiving basket, Cherie - pregnancy pampering girlfriend story, Jenny - for her caffeinated and thoughtful friend, Robin - with her charming charm bracelet story and Beth - for her beautiful best friend poem. Each of these winners will receive a $10 Starbucks gift card (to take their girlfriend out for coffee on Girlfriendology!) and Beth also receives the Girlfriendology Journal for her top entry girlfriend story:

Jackie's birthday was coming up and, being a best friend, Beth decided to write a poem and frame (with this picture of the two of them). This effort won her top prize (Starbucks gift card AND the Girlfriendology Journal) for the following poem she wrote for a valued friend ...

Once in a lifetime you'll find a friend you'll know you can never replace,
You'll feel it the moment you meet her - it's written all over her face.

Soon she begins to give of herself in ways you would never have known,
No friend you have been with before she appeared saved you so much from being alone.

She stands by your side through thick and through thin - through happiness, tears or regret,
You find yourself needing her more everyday, and all of her friendship you get.

She'd give her last dime to people in need, no matter if she needs it more,
You find yourself asking the Lord up above why He didn't give you her before.

If He had she'd have been there for birthdays forgotten by others you thought never would,
She'd have been there when others betrayed all your trust, convincing you life is still good.

She's the kind of a friend you can trust with your soul - you can trust her, in fact, with your life,
She's a sister, a mother, a co-worker too, a grandma and even a wife.

Yet she still finds the time on her busiest days to stop and check in just to say,
"I haven't been hearing from you in a while - please tell me friend, are you okay"?

There is nothing you know you can do for this friend to let her know how much you care,
For her friendship, her kindness, your constant belief that you know she will always be there.

How do you say to a friend such as this that you're thankful for all she has done?How do you show her the love that you have for a friendship, no doubt's, number one?

How do you put into words what you feel for this friend that you love, oh so much?
A woman who's hand on a shoulder in need clears up sadness with one little touch?

I guess you just feel it and she'll know it's true - she can read you right down to the core,
And you hope when she does that she'll see her own face staring out from your heart evermore.

This friend I call Jackie, the one that I love, who has been there for me all this time,
Is the greatest of friends that you ever can have - I'm so thankful to God that she's mine.

Thanks Beth for the poem and to Jackie for being poem-worthy! Thanks to everyone who submitted great girlfriend stories!

* And, since we're getting so many great stories AND it is the season for giving gifts, we've designated December as the Girlfriendology "Great Girlfriend Gift Giveaway"! Each day in December, everyone who submits a girlfriend story will go into a drawing for a free book/gift. In addition, the top five stories will win a $10 Starbucks gift card (to take you and a girlfriend out for coffee) and the top over all will win the Girlfriendology Journal. See Girlfriendology for the rules/information. Then write us! I'm sure you have a girlfriend who deserves to be recognized for her friendship (and you deserve a great girlfriend gift!).