Spreading the Girlfriendology word at BlogHer in NYC

I am on a mission to spread the word about the importance of female friendship - that's what Girlfriendology is all about! I attended BlogHer this week to promote Girlfriendology and learn from a lot of fabulous, smart, savvy, fun women how to use social media to inspire 'girlfriendship' around the globe. Here's my first ever Utterz message (audio recording) from a loud hotel lobby in NYC:

Mobile post sent by girlfriendology using Utterz.  Replies.  mp3

For info on making a similar pendant, visit GirlfriendologyToo - the blog for the creative side of girlfriends.

Conversations with Girlfriends

The mystic influence of friends and friends of friends always humbles me. My friend Joan invited her friends, along with me and some of mine, for a Sunday afternoon visit or a Tuesday evening dinner. Conversations swirl about women, our hopes and dreams, how we support and encourage each other (or not), the future of our city and country, how we can be truer forms of ourselves.

At lunch yesterday, again with Joan and a friend of hers - Vanessa, conversations started first about conversations. Those on the previous Sunday and Tuesday, and, about a wise woman in town who believes that we can change things just by starting conversations. If we get women together and focus our energies and words on positive change and growth, there is no measure of what we can change as we take those conversations into each of our homes, businesses, circle of friends and acquaintances, etc. Conversations among friends, and friends of friends, are very powerful things.

The energy generated by verbal sharing and listening, the momentum started by a single thought shared, the creative influence of hearing another perspective from a respected and passionate person - those things can, and do, change the world.

I'm humbled and honored to be a part of this. There are great things brewing, ideas and friendships forming. We, as women, first have to take a responsibility for where we are and where we're going. After that, we need to have conversations. To hear from women who are just as passionate about improvement and change.

Can you start something where you are? Do you have passionate, positive, purposeful friends? Get them together. Introduce friends to friends of friends. Ask questions. Listen. Start change ... just with a conversation.

(Thanks Joan and friends! You inspire me!)

What is a girlfriend?

Just a normal week, actually, until Friday. On Friday two things happened. But I'll get to that in a minute.

On our little dead-end, tree-lined, built in the 1920's street, we have lots of friends. Anne, Ann and Ann live here. Four babies were brought home last year and Sunny and Dolly are currently pregnant. We have happy hours in the summer and book club throughout the year. Houses are bought and sold. Friendships are made and kept even after moving away. We 'do life' together and feel very blessed for our neighbors.

One of our neighbors, Eula, worked until she was about 82 (five years ago) and brought us cookies, came to our New Year's Day brunch and showed us pictures from when she was a missionary in Africa and went big game hunting to feed a village. Her daughter and son-in-law live on the other side of us so she walked by frequently and always made great conversation. Being such a part of our neighborhood, we were shocked and deeply saddened to find out on Friday that Eula had passed away Friday morning. Our neighborhood will miss this wonderful, kind, loving person.

Also on Friday, my girlfriend Angie, who has been on bed-rest for a couple months, called to tell me that she is being induced this weekend. Baby Madeline will join the world probably today and very hopefully as a small but healthy baby. (Welcome baby Madeline!)

This day of sadness and anticipation stirs the question: 'what is a girlfriend?' I wouldn't say Eula was a typical girlfriend - we never went out to dinner just the two of us or shared shopping tips, etc., but she was definitely a friend to so many of us and her spirit will be missed by knew her. Angie is a girlfriend (and she does have great retail and style advice!) and follow each others lives through jobs and other important life changes.

To me a girlfriend can be many things - from a nice, caring neighbor to a friend I call on a regular basis to laugh with and catch up. Girlfriends are more than just a friend who happens to be female ... a LOT more. Girlfriends have an interest in our lives and cheer us towards our dreams. They laugh, cry, brainstorm, plot, shop, eat with us - whatever our need is for them as a friend. And, girlfriends allow us to be ourselves and they love us for exactly who we are. Each of our girlfriends bless our lives with qualities and lessons that are important and memorable.

Think about YOUR girlfriends. Who is a casual friend who you cherish just knowing, living near or working with? What best friends of yours are always on call to be there for you - in good times and bad? Now think about ... what can you do to bless their day or show them how much they mean to you? AND now ... DO IT! Reach out. Call a friend. Bring her favorite Starbucks drink to a coworker/girlfriend. Send a card or write an email. Show your girlfriends not only how much their friendship means to them but also that you know what it means to be girlfriend. Thanks girlfriends!

TIP TUESDAY #13 - Ways to make your Girlfriends' Valentine's Day Special

I had the priviledge of interviewing author, relationship psychologist and women's retreat leader Dr. Karen Gail Lewis for our latest podcast. Dr. Lewis (aka: Karen) offered great insight on the value of female friendships and how this romantic holiday really is all about showing those special to us that we LOVE them.

This Thursday is Valentine's Day. Romance may come and go, but girlfriends stick with you. Don't they deserve a Valentine's card, a thoughtful or fun email, or just a call to tell them how much you love being friends with them? Inspire others by answering this week's TIP TUESDAY question:

How do you show your girlfriends that their friendship means the world to you? How do you make them feel loved and appreciated?

Remember the Valentine's Day cards we shared as kids? Actually, it was probably more about quantity of cards than quality of emotion back then. Show whatever quantity of girlfriends you really appreciate exactly how much you value the quality of their friendship this Valentine's Day. Then, inspire others when you please share with us ... what can you do to show your Girlfriend appreciation and love this Valentine's Day?

p.s. And, check out our Girlfriendology Contest this month which is on the same "LOVE your female friends" theme. Win prizes and share inspiration, just by being a girlfriend! Happy Valentine's Day Girlfriends!

Oprah's advice on Girlfriends, events, etc.

Across the couch from Oprah yesterday, she shared her thoughts for Girlfriendology and great ideas for girlfriend trips, events, website options, etc. I loved how she 'gets' Girlfriendology and how important it is for girlfriends to spend time together, support and encourage each other and celebrate our friendships.

No, I wasn't dreaming. I was just at a Halloween party and my friend Ellen was dressed as our favorite TV show host. Ellen, who actually has been on Oprah and was recently featured in O magazine (the issue shown above) for her emotional-eating coaching business, does share Oprah's commitment to the value of female friendships. We all know about Oprah and her best friend, Gayle. I know that Oprah and Gayle 'get' girlfriendology too. (I'll just patiently wait for the call from Harpo Productions, but it will come!)

At the party Ellen, Lydia, Colleen and Amy all asked about how things are going for Girlfriendology. I shared how the podcasts and web/blog traffic are growing and some of the exciting things that are coming. Then, out of their wonderful, caring friendships, they all offered ideas and support. I love when women 'get it' and are so supportive. It felt like being wrapped in hugs. Very comforting and warm on a chilly Fall evening.

Thanks Oprah (Ellen), Annie Oakley (Lydia), Maxwell Smart (Amy) and Shopping Charge Card (Colleen) for caring and sharing. I look forward to a lot of great ideas in '08 and having you along side as we adventure toward all of our dreams!

Connecting with Girlfriends ... no matter the distance, time, changes

I've been MIA this week due to a quick trip to northern WI. Surrounded by beautiful autumn leaves, a calm but chilly Lake Superior and a lot of wildlife (including a wolf that my girlfriend Cara saw!), friends from OH, MI, MN and CO convened to connect after months up to five years of not seeing each other. It was a glorious gathering!

Isn't it funny how you can not see a girlfriend for literally years and you feel like you just saw her yesterday? I feel that way with my girlfriends on the trip, especially Lindy who is a dog lover and felt our pain through losing our sweet golden, Stella, two months ago. We cried together, laughed together, ate a lot together, just enjoyed being in the same room or on the same hiking trail together.

What is it about true friendship that bonds us to each other? Is it our commonalities? Or do we seek diversity and a different point of view? It isn't necessarily our ages - we had a 40 year range in our baker's dozen of friends on this trip and conversations were never limited to regional, age or other demographics. We don't all come from the same backgrounds - two teachers, several creatives, many entrepreneurs and a host of other characteristics. Our interests vary from sports to cultural events, crafts to reading, hiking to dancing. No one would have eHarmony'd us all to be great friends through years of change!

The Nigerian proverb tells us to "Hold a dear friend with both hands." Over time, distance, changes, differences ... friendships, especially between females, deserve to be cherished and celebrated. What a joy to experience beautiful friendships in such breath-taking surroundings. How sweet to walk beside a friend and learn from them, laugh with them, hold their hand and receive love and understanding from them.

Thanks Amy, Kate, Cara, Chondra, Jo, Aimee and Lindy for your love, support and friendship. May we have many more times in the future laughing, crying, sharing and just being ... together.

Not a dating site ... but open to celebrating female friendships!

Recently a few guys have stopped by Girlfriendology. Everyone is welcome, although it primarily is a place for "inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends." My guess is that they (a) do appreciate the friendships they have with women (one is trying to get back with his wife, so perhaps he found the site helpful in showing her appreciation and being her best friend?), (b) they long to find strong, caring friendships like women often have or (c) are confused and looking for a girlfriend! (Sorry guys! Not here!)

In Kris Radish's podcast last week she mentioned that, although her booksare centered around women finding their strength and experiencing adventures with their female friends, she too is getting a male following.

Keeping with our guy theme, my husband gets this girlfriend thing. He sees how much my female friends bless, support, inspire me. He understands why I am pursuing Girlfriendology with a passion for inspiring women all over the world to build, value and celebrate their female friends. (I credit his grasp of the wonderful world of female friendship to being raised by a mom and three sisters!) He even joked that maybe he would start "Boyfriendology" - right!

Shelley Taylor's book, The Tending Instinct, discusses how children look to women for tending, men look to women for tending and women look to women for tending. (It is a great book if you're interesting in learning more!) Actually, it is part of our gender DNA to develop friendships with women - no matter if we're female or male.

So, men - thanks for joining us at Girlfriendology. Feel free to visit and comment (or buy gifts for your female friends, listen to podcasts, etc.). Everyone is welcome here at Girlfriendology.

All that said ... women, girls, wives, daughters, sisters, best friends, BFFs, girlfriends - you're the inspiration for Girlfriendology and for that I thank you! Today's a great day to make a friend, meet a friend, call a friend, be a friend. Thanks girlfriends!

P.S. Just a girl-friendly reminder ...It is almost half way through October and the first Girlfriendology Contest is bringing in some great stories on girlfriends. Don't miss out! Share a story about your best friend and possibly win coffee at Starbucks with her on Girlfriendology. Not only do you get time together with her, but we'll spotlight the wonderful gift of her friendship on the blog to recognize her. Join in girlfriend!

Girlfriends, Sisters, Mothers ... Women who bless our lives

My friend Laurie just sent me the following "chain email." I usually don't read, much less resend, those but this one is about girlfriends and all the wonderful women in our lives who bless, love, accept, inspire and encourage us.

Instead of passing this along in a mass email, I'll share it with you. As you read it, think about the special women in your life and how much they mean to you. Tomorrow is National Women's Friendship Day. Call up your girlfriends, or visit, have dinner together, send an eCard or greeting card, etc. Take time out for the special women who bless your life with their friendship and love. (Thanks Laurie!)

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.

Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.
BUT........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did.

More ideas for National Women's Friendship Day (Your Girlfriends are worth it - right?!)

Right!!

First - a Weekend Update
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I'm blessed with great girlfriends! This past weekend I met with my girlfriend's entrepreneurial group where we shared our business updates and dreams. (Thanks Judy & Tina! We missed you Melody, Paula, Joyce and Becky!) Then I spent time with Cath, celebrating her birthday and just catching up. On the way home I stopped at Dana's house for wine and conversation. Chatted with LL Cool J (aka: Lisa), Beth Anne and Jill this week about work 'stuff. Lots of fun girlfriends with whom to share life!

My original plan was to host a brunch for my girlfriends next Sunday in honor of National Women's Friendship Day. Due to losing our sweet dog, which kind of put me in a fog for a couple weeks, I had to go to plan B. After running into several women who are/were in my girlfriend group, I orchestrated a dinner for Sunday night with them. We'll catch up, laugh, possibly cry and just be the kind of friends who love to spend time together.

Here are other ideas for National Women's Friendship Day, just in case you're interested:

* Visit a nursing home and talk with women about their girlfriends growing up. I'm sure they'd love to share and have great stories!
* Bake some cookies and deliver them to your girlfriends. Add a note and the recipe. They'll love it!
* Curl up with a good book on girlfriends.
* Make a Girlfriend Gratitude Journal (or use a normal journal). Make a habit of each day acknowledging the role your girlfriends play in your life.
* Hang out with a bunch of young girls and tell them your stories. Make sure they hear the message that having female friends is one of the great things in life.

Then, let Girlfriendology know what you did to celebrate! Thanks Girlfriends!!!

For a good laugh (and update on GirlfriendologyToo)

Some girlfriends are shoppers, some are chefs, some girlfriends love to read while others prefer yoga or running, and some girlfriends are 'crafty' and some aren't. For those girlfriends who are crafty, and especially those wonderful creative women who love to make gifts and/or greeting cards for their girlfriends, I started another blog - GirlfriendologyToo. It focuses on 'the creative side of girlfriends.' Check it out for ideas on things you can make for and/or with girlfriends. And feel free to post comments, questions and ideas. I'd love to hear from creative women! (And everyone is creative!)

Actually, that is why I started Girlfriendology - to share inspiration, generate appreciation and encourage celebration of girlfriends. Sharing ideas with each other is one of the wonderful benefits of having female friends. Together we can solve problems, create new ideas and basically make life a lot more fun.


Speaking of creative girlfriends AND making live fun ... for a good laugh, I just found out one of the Carol Duvall Shows that I taped (for HGTV and DIY Network) is online. I really don't care for watching myself on TV but hopefully you'll enjoy! Check out these image transfer projects on Carol Duvall - part 1 & part 2 as well as my book, The New Book of Image Transfer. (Doesn't my hair look funny?! And is "mender" really a word?!)

Back to all the different 'varieties' of girlfriends and their unique qualities/personalities. Isn't the world of girlfriends great?! Show your appreciation by sending a note to your girlfriends and telling them how special each one of them is to you. It is almost National Women's Friendship Day (Sept. 16th). Celebrate it everyday of the year! Thanks girlfriends!!

More Girlfriends - More Thanks! More Blessings!

This has been a tough week. Our great golden, Stella, had to be put to sleep a week ago today and nothing seems the same as when she was such a part of our life. Our sleeping and eating, laughter and tears, coming and going are all different now.

The one stabilizing constant is our friends. Girlfriends, neighbors, coworkers, family ... so many have sent cards, wrote emails, left flowers, mailed gifts, etc. It has been so comforting to know that they care about us and understand the grief of losing a beloved family pet.

Specifically I'd like to thank just a few of our friends for their thoughtfulness:

* Bridget - our former neighbor who recently had family sadness to deal with, still made the effort to write a beautiful note and leave us some chocolate and wine (which, in keeping with her/my/Stella's hair color was a "Redhead Red")

* Liz & Jeff, Nikki & Todd, Shelley & Dave - neighbors who have dogs and understand our sadness, left flowers and cards

* Ellen & Doug - former neighbors and wonderful friends who we called with the news because they loved Stella too. They sent a very thoughtful and yummy gift from their cabin in northern Michigan.

* Anne, Penny, Becky, Dana & Bear - who spent time with us comforting and serving as a much needed distraction and respite

Too many to name them all but each of them special and loved. We still are sad but with friends like these, we know we are blessed beyond measure. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for caring, thoughtfulness and your kindness.

Pet your animals. Rescue/adopt a stray. Call a friend. Write a note. Give a hug. Count your blessings. Thanks friends!

Furballs, Hugs and Girlfriend Gratitude

Stella, our beloved 12-year old golden retriever, is very sick. It happened quickly and we're unsure of what the coming week will bring. We had to take her to the emergency vet yesterday and we've even slept on the living room floor since she's unable to go up stairs and we want to be near her. It breaks my heart to see her suffer and I'm just torn up by even the thought of losing her.

To some people, this may be silly. Dogs are just animals. Pets are just vehicles for furballs and the signature of a messy house. But to my girlfriends, who love me and therefore love what I love, they feel my pain. Ellen, Amy and Colleen offered their sympathy and positive thoughts last night at dinner. I ran into Barb and Ruth Sara this morning when I was crying. Their hugs and concern were genuine and so appreciated. Ruth Sara called Becky who then called to check in on me and Stella. Jill wants an update tomorrow on what our Vet says. I called another Barb (my college roommate) who consoled me. I emailed other college girlfriends, Laurie, Rhonda and Deana, knowing that they care and heard back that they do. Terri returned my email with her thoughts and concern for me and for Stella. (Stella is pretty loved by all who've met her - which also means everyone on whom she has shed!)*

Friendship is just like that. You love your friends so much, that what is important to them is also important to you. Female friends are the best because they genuinely care about the little and big things in life. Sure, she is 'just a dog,' but my girlfriends know that Stella is really part of our family. That isn't silly to them.

Thanks to my girlfriends for caring about me - and Stella. And, for all those times you've supported your friends through their little and big issues, thank YOU. Girlfriends are no accident. We're all here to help each other through the little, big and furry stuff. Thanks for caring.

* P.S. As I write this, I am overwhelmed with the blessing of so many girlfriends and so much love and care I have received just in the past 24-hours. If you ever feel lonely or just want to feel more blessed, take note of the support your friends offer by writing in a Girlfriend Gratitude journal. I do this each morning and it blesses my entire day thinking back over how wonderful my female friends are to me. Just write down all the great women in your life and how they bless you in a blank pad of paper or journal, or on a calendar. Soon you'll have wonderful reminders of the fabulous female friendships you're blessed with!

Having great Girlfriends is as stylish as ... Heather Locklear?

On Wednesday evening at our weekly girlfriend group meeting, I announced that I needed a haircut but had no idea what to do. As someone who had long hair (that I cut myself) almost my entire life, I'm not well versed in how to find a good haircut much less how to direct a hair stylist. In fact, I've only paid for my hair to be cut about five or six times - in my life! I'm a novice and I severely needed girlfriend advice. And, knowing that I was planning to go back to the salon school where students cut hair, I wanted to give great direction in order to get a good cut.

Thankfully my girlfriends came to the rescue! Becky thought layers would help my hair curl. Tina even sent me this Heather Locklear celebrity photo as well as great stylist tips -point tips, no razor, etc. Other girlfriends also gave advice. Karen told me the right products to use to bring out the curl. Lisa warned about getting layers cut too short.

I cautiously presented the celebrity hairstyle to my stylist/student April. Would it be too difficult for a student? Could I expect a somewhat complicated cut for $10? And, would they think I was delusional and actually thought I'd look exactly like Heather Locklear when I left there?!

But, I felt like I had my girlfriends with me. I explained to April and her instructor that the hairstyle and advice came from my girlfriends. They understood and came up with a plan. A few hours later, I walked out with a very nice cut. I'm no Heather Locklear (it would take several million dollars of plastic surgery and a small miracle for that!) but I can't wait to go show my girlfriends. In fact, I'm going to see Tina this afternoon at her pillow shop. I'm sure she'll approve.

Sure, in the big scheme of things - haircuts are minor (well, kind-of!). Aren't you glad girlfriends are there for the little and the BIG stuff? Where would we be without girlfriends? Lonely, bored, poorly dressed and with a bad hair cut?

Girlfriends are instant face(and attitude)-lifts, as well as always making it a good hair day! Female friends reduce stress, make us healthier and happier. And, girlfriends are great for giving advice and for helping us through little and big life decisions. Be the girlfriend you want to be! Make your girlfriends feel special, loved and beautiful. You'll come out feeling as stylish as Heather Locklear, without those pesty paparazzi!

Look around ... are your girlfriends nearby?

From my messy little office/studio, I am surrounded by so many things that remind me of my girlfriends. There are photos of my creative roomies Vicki, Lisa and Phyllis; my SCD buddies who inspire me Katie, Jill, Paula and Marie; and my supportive 'sister' girlfriends like Cath, Amy, Kate and Kleta. Gifts and cards from Vicki, Joan and Barb. Books from (and by!) Renee, Marie, Katie and Lisa. I feel like I'm 'hugged' by great girlfriends even in my little, lonely studio!

More than the 'stuff' on the walls and shelves, are the memories that seeing the photos and items bring to mind. Sharing with Katie and Lisa (like we'll do tomorrow for our mastermind group), laughing with Jill (which we did today on the phone), sharing a room with Vicki (who didn't know she snores!) ... friendships and the memories from them can keep me going through hard times, sleepless nights and lonely hours.

Do you have special reminders of your girlfriends around your office, bedroom or closet? Are there photos of your female friends in your wallet or framed around your home? May your surroundings surround you with reminders of female friends and happy times together. Aren't girlfriends great?!