Girlfriend Groups - do you have one?

I planned not to go to my girlfriend group tonight. My web guy was supposed to meet with me on some updates so I cancelled the group - then he cancelled our meeting. My friend Tina called me right after I got his email, while I was still extremely frustrated with him. (He hasn't been easy to work with! I knew I should have hired a woman!) She was going to our girlfriend group and talked me into going, even if I was late.

What a great thing that was! We laughed, caught up on life, had some wine, shared our lives. All the stress disappeared as the friendships (and laughter) brought me back to the good things in life - girlfriends, good friends, people who love you and whom you love. Life is good. Girlfriends are great.

Do you have a girlfriend group? What is the basis of it - an activity? Something you have in common? A book club or garden group? Croppers or knitters? Spinners or yoga goddesses?! Having a group of women to support you is vital to your happiness, stability, patience with other things in life and your self confidence*.

Thanks Tina for calling and for prompting me to come to our group tonight. (Thanks too to Paula for hosting! Becky for feeding! and Judy for sharing and for listening to and enjoying the Kris Radish podcast!) Let Girlfriendology know about your group. Why is it special to you? What do you recommend in starting a girlfriend group?

If you don't have a girlfriend group, maybe you should start one. Make 'no stress' rules and invite your girlfriends to bring others. I'm sure you'll find them the perfect way to de-stress your day. Share your thoughts on comments or email ideas@girlfriendology.com. And keep meeting. Keep inspiring. Keep appreciating and keep celebrating girlfriends. Life is good. Girlfriends are great. (Thanks Tina - and Paula, Becky and Judy!)

*Join our next podcast for information on how having girlfriends affects your self esteem. Any questions on this subject, please let Girlfriendology know!

Humbled, honored, blessed and loved by my Girlfriends

Last September, I bought a new Honda CRV. As soon as I started driving it, I noticed a few others in the neighborhood. Within a week, I saw silver Hondas all over town. It seemed like EVERYONE was driving a silver Honda CRV. I didn't notice it before, but now that I was looking for them, they were (and are) everywhere!

Now that I'm focusing on girlfriends and the benefits, joys and blessings of female friendship, I see examples of great girlfriends everywhere. My friend Penny who came over this morning to watch the women's World Cup Soccer. She shaved her head in solidarity with a friend going through chemo. She is my cheerleader and sister. My lawyer Tammy who sent me such a thoughtful gift recently. Ellen, my former neighbor, who even with a busy life and young sons, makes time to be with me. I could go on and on and on. (Laurie, Dana, Beth Anne, Lisa, Angie, Tina, Jill, Becky ... just a few of the women who have blessed my life this week.)

What I'm learning on this journey of "inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends," is that we really do need our girlfriends. I learn important lessons from them on a daily basis. And, I'm humbled by the kindness and thoughtfulness of my girlfriends.

To be honest with you, this focus on girlfriends often makes me feel like I'm not a very good one. (But I strive to be!) I should be more generous with my time and resources. I should always find the perfect gift and be there whenever my girlfriends need me. I wish I could anticipate my friends' needs, know when they need closeness or time alone, be able to read their minds and help them through life's bumps and foggy times.

Just because I started Girlfriendology and I 'preach' the wonderful benefits and blessings of girlfriends, it doesn't mean that I have it all together or that I'm the prime example of a perfect friend. But it does mean that I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm striving to be better and that's exactly what my goal is for Girlfriendology. Together we can make the world better, one friendship at a time. We can show our children and men how to care about and love each other. Our female friendships can span continents, cross racial lines, improve our quality (and quantity) of life and turn strangers into sisters.

I don't see as many silver Hondas as I did when my car was new. I don't really look for them and I'm okay with that. I don't ever want to overlook girlfriends - mine and other women's relationships with their female friends. I want to stay focused, to grow by learning about these loyal, loving people who just make life better. And, I want to always inspire, appreciate and celebrate the true blessings of girlfriends.

Thanks Penny, Tammy, Laurie and all my girlfriends. Thanks to you for reading this and caring about your girlfriends. I'd take any of you over a Honda any day!

A thoughtful, perfect present from a thoughtful, perfect Girlfriend

As I've blogged, the past three weeks have been so tough for us. We lost our sweet golden retriever Stella after a very quick illness. My girlfriends have shown their love and support through calls, emails, cards and gifts - and to each one, I am reminded how incredibly blessed I am with the best female friends. (And, I hope you feel the same way about your girlfriends!)

One friend, a fellow dog and cat lover, thoughtfully chose the perfect gift for us. This small angel statue with wire wings is carrying a (again perfectly!) golden puppy. Tears fell as soon as I opened the package and I knew that my friend Tammy had found the perfect gift just for me. And, I also knew that I would never look at that statue without thinking with love of her and our furry 'daughter' whom we so deeply miss.

There is something so special about a girlfriend who makes the time and effort to give perfect gifts. With Tammy, this gift shows how valued our friendship is, especially since she is a busy lawyer and she's never met Stella. This meaningful present will remind me each day of the girlfriend I strive to be - thoughtful and caring.

Thanks Tammy for your beautiful gift. Thanks for caring about me and for sharing in my pain - it does help. And thanks to all my other girlfriends who understood what we were, are and will go through. I strive to be a better girlfriend, because female friendship is so important. Not only to me, but through it I become a better friend and person to my female friends as well as my husband, guy friends, family and all others. Thanks Tammy for the blessing of your friendship. Thanks for being thoughtful and perfect. And, most of all, thank you for the valuable lesson I will remember from your example of a wonderful girlfriend.

p.s. GirlfriendologyToo is a blog for creative girlfriends. It shares lots of ideas and inspiration for girlfriend gifts and greetings you can make. Please visit it and share your ideas. That's how we learn and grow - from sharing between Girlfriends!

Girlfriends, Sisters, Mothers ... Women who bless our lives

My friend Laurie just sent me the following "chain email." I usually don't read, much less resend, those but this one is about girlfriends and all the wonderful women in our lives who bless, love, accept, inspire and encourage us.

Instead of passing this along in a mass email, I'll share it with you. As you read it, think about the special women in your life and how much they mean to you. Tomorrow is National Women's Friendship Day. Call up your girlfriends, or visit, have dinner together, send an eCard or greeting card, etc. Take time out for the special women who bless your life with their friendship and love. (Thanks Laurie!)

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.

Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.
BUT........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did.

More Girlfriends - More Thanks! More Blessings!

This has been a tough week. Our great golden, Stella, had to be put to sleep a week ago today and nothing seems the same as when she was such a part of our life. Our sleeping and eating, laughter and tears, coming and going are all different now.

The one stabilizing constant is our friends. Girlfriends, neighbors, coworkers, family ... so many have sent cards, wrote emails, left flowers, mailed gifts, etc. It has been so comforting to know that they care about us and understand the grief of losing a beloved family pet.

Specifically I'd like to thank just a few of our friends for their thoughtfulness:

* Bridget - our former neighbor who recently had family sadness to deal with, still made the effort to write a beautiful note and leave us some chocolate and wine (which, in keeping with her/my/Stella's hair color was a "Redhead Red")

* Liz & Jeff, Nikki & Todd, Shelley & Dave - neighbors who have dogs and understand our sadness, left flowers and cards

* Ellen & Doug - former neighbors and wonderful friends who we called with the news because they loved Stella too. They sent a very thoughtful and yummy gift from their cabin in northern Michigan.

* Anne, Penny, Becky, Dana & Bear - who spent time with us comforting and serving as a much needed distraction and respite

Too many to name them all but each of them special and loved. We still are sad but with friends like these, we know we are blessed beyond measure. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for caring, thoughtfulness and your kindness.

Pet your animals. Rescue/adopt a stray. Call a friend. Write a note. Give a hug. Count your blessings. Thanks friends!

The girlfriends in your life and the special blessings they bring

Greetings from Minneapolis where I used to live. It has been eight years since I moved, but still my girlfriends go out of their way to maintain the friendships. (And I feel so blessed!)

This morning we had brunch with our friends Terri and Bill who also invited Lisa and Todd to join us for a fabulous meal. Terri didn't look at this event selfishly, as a time for us to just be together. She, always being thoughtful and so kind, invited others to share in the special event of friends being together.

I so much love that about Terri. She is one of the most thoughtful girlfriends I know. She always thinks of the most personalized acts and gifts. She goes out of her way to bring friends together and to make girlfriends feel special. Terri always gives thoughtful gifts, adds something to a menu that is special just for me/us or takes time to create a special event just to make others feel loved and appreciated. She inspires me to be a better friend.

Each girlfriend in my life offers different blessings. Amy and Kate (sisters and very dear friends) had us over for dinner tonight with a dozen of our friends (including great girlfriends Cara, Chandra, Sue, Barb, Kathy and Patty) which made it a memorable and wonderful evening. Cath sent me a hilarious story on herself today which cracked me up. Christy invited me into her home this afternoon in the midst of carpet shampoo'ing (and child 'potty' issues!) to spend time just catching up on life.

As I time looking at my girlfriends and what I learn from them, I recognize that I am nothing without them. To Barb, my creative, spiritual, loving 'sister' to Amy, my forever friend and inspiration, I am blessed with amazing girlfriends.

What can you learn from your girlfriends? In what ways do they bless you? What amazing women do you have in your life that you need to appreciate and celebrate?! Do it! Plan events with your girlfriends. Send notes to say Thank You. Call them just to check in on their lives. Show them that you love and appreciate them. Girlfriends are a blessing and, if you have a great group of girlfriends, you're truly blessed!

Counting your girlfriend blessings ...

My girlfriend Renee and I caught up over dinner on Monday night. On Sunday night, upon arriving in Cleveland, she drove her rental car toward the hotel. But, before she could arrive, she was hit by a car on the highway, spun around, hit by another car, spun some more and finally ended up on the other side of the rush hour, busy highway. Miraculously, she walked away from the accident without a scratch but definitely very shaken up and frightened.

As she recalled the event, I couldn't help but take a personal, albeit self-centered, view of the terrible event. I would have been so incredibly hurt and sad had something happened to her. In that moment of sharing, I went inside to feel incredibly blessed to know her and to have her safely sitting next to me that evening. It brought a sense of wanting to hold on to her and not let her out of my sight. It was a blinding reminder to care for and stay close to the amazing female friends who bless my life just by being my friends.

Renee, I'm so happy you're okay and want only good things for you. And, again selfishly, I want to spend MANY more happy, fun, creative times together. To me, you are perfect and I just want to be around you as much as I can. (Can I move in with you and Danny?!)

I'm blessed that nothing happened to my dear friend but hopefully the accident will encourage me (and possibly you) to cherish your girlfriends. Have a friend who you should tell how special she is to you? Lost touch with someone whom you love and don't want to grow away from? Call. Write. Visit. Send a note. Count your girlfriend blessings - every one of the amazing women in your life!