Eulogy for a Perfect Dog - Thanks Stella (and thanks girlfriends for caring for me)

"Dave's Girl Stella" AKA: Stella-BoBella, Wigglebutt, Silly Girl

It is with immeasurable sadness that I say good-bye to the best furry friend a girl could have. Our almost 12-year old Golden Retriever, Stella, passed away this week from a way-too-fast battle with cancer. Friday afternoon she was fine, that night she had trouble walking and it just went downhill.

I know the loss of a pet can't compare with losing a child, husband or close 'human' but who couldn't fall deeply in love with a face as sweet as hers? My sadness runs deep and my tears won't end. She was our constant companion, best buddy, cheap entertainment, reason to exercise and favorite comedian. She was a friend I'll never recover from losing.

Thanks first to Stella. She gave us years of love, laughter and joy. You'll be missed on an on-going basis forever.

Thanks too to my girlfriends. So many of my female friends have shown me great acts of sympathy and compassion. Dog-lovers/owners or not, they feel my pain and for that I am so grateful. Thanks to Deana for the gorgeous plant which will always remind me of Stella and also of your kind friendship. To Becky, who came right over to hug me, I love that you have a heart for dogs as well (and that you foster so many!). Thanks to Terri, Beth Anne, LL Cool J, Tina, Ruth Sara, Melody, Barb and so many other fabulous female friends who sent words of love and support. Thanks to Anne and Penny for trying to distract us with conversation and food/beverages. We need that - thanks!

I miss Stella. I really, really do. She was an amazing dog. But I'm also blessed with loving, caring girlfriends who are also amazing and are helping me through this sad time. Thanks to you all. I feel your hugs from all over, and it helps. Thanks, Debba

Furballs, Hugs and Girlfriend Gratitude

Stella, our beloved 12-year old golden retriever, is very sick. It happened quickly and we're unsure of what the coming week will bring. We had to take her to the emergency vet yesterday and we've even slept on the living room floor since she's unable to go up stairs and we want to be near her. It breaks my heart to see her suffer and I'm just torn up by even the thought of losing her.

To some people, this may be silly. Dogs are just animals. Pets are just vehicles for furballs and the signature of a messy house. But to my girlfriends, who love me and therefore love what I love, they feel my pain. Ellen, Amy and Colleen offered their sympathy and positive thoughts last night at dinner. I ran into Barb and Ruth Sara this morning when I was crying. Their hugs and concern were genuine and so appreciated. Ruth Sara called Becky who then called to check in on me and Stella. Jill wants an update tomorrow on what our Vet says. I called another Barb (my college roommate) who consoled me. I emailed other college girlfriends, Laurie, Rhonda and Deana, knowing that they care and heard back that they do. Terri returned my email with her thoughts and concern for me and for Stella. (Stella is pretty loved by all who've met her - which also means everyone on whom she has shed!)*

Friendship is just like that. You love your friends so much, that what is important to them is also important to you. Female friends are the best because they genuinely care about the little and big things in life. Sure, she is 'just a dog,' but my girlfriends know that Stella is really part of our family. That isn't silly to them.

Thanks to my girlfriends for caring about me - and Stella. And, for all those times you've supported your friends through their little and big issues, thank YOU. Girlfriends are no accident. We're all here to help each other through the little, big and furry stuff. Thanks for caring.

* P.S. As I write this, I am overwhelmed with the blessing of so many girlfriends and so much love and care I have received just in the past 24-hours. If you ever feel lonely or just want to feel more blessed, take note of the support your friends offer by writing in a Girlfriend Gratitude journal. I do this each morning and it blesses my entire day thinking back over how wonderful my female friends are to me. Just write down all the great women in your life and how they bless you in a blank pad of paper or journal, or on a calendar. Soon you'll have wonderful reminders of the fabulous female friendships you're blessed with!

Celebrating Great Neighbors (and Girlfriends!) with Ice Cream!!

I've bragged before ... I have great neighbor girlfriends. Our no-stress book club (reading is optional, laughter is mandatory!), summer happy hours and fun female friendships make living on our street very special. Moms walk their kids around the block, families and dogs stroll by and kids learning to throw a football make every summer night entertaining.

Recently I entered Edy's HomeChurned Ice Cream contest for great neighborhoods. I wish I remember what I wrote on the online form, but I know it included some of the wonderful qualities of our neighborhood that I mentioned above. Of course, I'm writing this because we won! Tomorrow night we've invited all 50+ houses on our street along with former neighbors and others in the neighborhood for a big ice cream celebration. It should be a scream!

In true form, the girlfriends on the block have chipped in. Shelley invited the newspaper and they're sending a photographer. (I'll post a photo!) Anne, who isn't even in town, has volunteered her backyard and cornhole game. Stephanie graciously offered her yard since there is more room for kids to play. Another Ann (we have several Ann's on our street) stored the 12 containers of ice cream in her freezer this week. Genna, Judy, Pam and Diane have offered to help scoop. Everyone is chipping in and I know it will be a fun evening.

Why is our street so special? We've made an effort to know our neighbors. With even another Ann, I started the monthly book club. Several mom's take turns watching each others' children. We share flour, help each other when tree limbs go down and hang out on the sidewalk talking while the kids play.

How can you connect with your neighbors? Do you have girlfriends nearby? Go meet your neighbors. I bet you'll have more in common with them than you realize. Spend time together and develop female friendships. Stay in touch and, next year, apply for an Ice Cream contest! Happy end of summer!!

Sisters, neighbors, coworkers, moms, yoga/running friends ... all kinds of Girlfriends

Here's the girlie-girl way of looking at it ... You have pumps, tennis/walking shoes, platforms, boots, sandals, flip flops, Crocks(tm!), etc. in your closet, right? Guys may look at is as just a room full of shoes and think that they are silly and unnecessary. Women see it as the basics of getting dressed and feeling good about your personal style.

In the girlfriend world, there are close friends you've known since school or new neighbors on the street. Women you work with to friends of friends you've met and run into at the grocery store. Coworkers who become friends outside of work and women you see at yoga or book club. Look around and you'll most likely see a variety of girlfriends at different stages of friendship, with unique qualities and a variety of things in common. It's a wonderful world of girlfriends! Kinda like having a selection of shoes - you have lots of options for women with whom to share your life.

Still in Minnesota visiting friends, I had dinner with my girlfriend Amy last night. Amy is dating, I'm married. Amy has a corporate job, I'm entrepreneurial. Amy lives in the cold north(!), I live in the mid-west. She's a world traveler, I dream of being (and have had some very fun international adventures with her!). But get us together and we have so much in common and so much fun.

What type 'shoe' is her friendship??? Last night after dinner I thought about that. Our conversation ranged from her recent dating adventures to my entrepreneurial dreams. From common friends to philosophies on perspectives of life. I very much respect her opinion, welcome her advice and appreciate her friendship.

Our interaction reflected what I feel is so important about girlfriends and why I started Girlfriendology. I think if we girlfriends 'put our heads together' and help each other through life, that we all learn and benefit from each other. After talking with Amy, I felt stronger for having her support and friendship. Not that we focused on any negative issues but life can be stressful. Together I felt we each contributed problem-solving ideas or creative solutions to hopefully benefit each of us in reaching our dreams. And, thinking like shoes, (and I hope she sees this as a compliment!) to me our interaction was kind of like workboots. Very functional and productive, the "git-r done" type interaction that I love and benefit so much from.

Have a problem? Talk to a girlfriend. Want to do something fun? Call up a girlfriend. Need to laugh or share a great story? Go see a girlfriend. Stressed over life? Have dinner with a girlfriend. Together we make a great pair (or lots of pairs, like that shoe analogy!). After all, aren't girlfriends the perfect accessory?! Thanks Amy for being such a great girlfriend and for sharing life (and solutions/ideas!) with me! Big hugs!!!


p.s. If you're into the above shoes, you might be a "Desperate Housewives" fan. They're on Seenon.com.

The girlfriends in your life and the special blessings they bring

Greetings from Minneapolis where I used to live. It has been eight years since I moved, but still my girlfriends go out of their way to maintain the friendships. (And I feel so blessed!)

This morning we had brunch with our friends Terri and Bill who also invited Lisa and Todd to join us for a fabulous meal. Terri didn't look at this event selfishly, as a time for us to just be together. She, always being thoughtful and so kind, invited others to share in the special event of friends being together.

I so much love that about Terri. She is one of the most thoughtful girlfriends I know. She always thinks of the most personalized acts and gifts. She goes out of her way to bring friends together and to make girlfriends feel special. Terri always gives thoughtful gifts, adds something to a menu that is special just for me/us or takes time to create a special event just to make others feel loved and appreciated. She inspires me to be a better friend.

Each girlfriend in my life offers different blessings. Amy and Kate (sisters and very dear friends) had us over for dinner tonight with a dozen of our friends (including great girlfriends Cara, Chandra, Sue, Barb, Kathy and Patty) which made it a memorable and wonderful evening. Cath sent me a hilarious story on herself today which cracked me up. Christy invited me into her home this afternoon in the midst of carpet shampoo'ing (and child 'potty' issues!) to spend time just catching up on life.

As I time looking at my girlfriends and what I learn from them, I recognize that I am nothing without them. To Barb, my creative, spiritual, loving 'sister' to Amy, my forever friend and inspiration, I am blessed with amazing girlfriends.

What can you learn from your girlfriends? In what ways do they bless you? What amazing women do you have in your life that you need to appreciate and celebrate?! Do it! Plan events with your girlfriends. Send notes to say Thank You. Call them just to check in on their lives. Show them that you love and appreciate them. Girlfriends are a blessing and, if you have a great group of girlfriends, you're truly blessed!

How a Girlfriend's Laughter can lead to Tears.

Friday was a tough day for me. All my girlfriends have either left the company I work at or were out of town. Not to complain, but I just wanted to have lunch with a girlfriend. I needed some laughter and great conversation to cut the day in half.

My friend Holly and I always had the best lunches. No matter how your day was or how you felt, her laughter would light up the entire room and pull you into such a blessed place that you consciously were happy just being near her. After we both moved away from Minnesota, we rarely had the opportunity to have lunch together. Now that she's gone, I won't have that cherished, wonderful opportunity every again.

First, I need to tell you a little about my friend Holly. She loved her family and friends with an overflowing passion. She constantly inspired me and made me feel better about myself. Her friendship was treasured by all who knew her. Unfortunately, she succumbed to cancer last Thanksgiving. In my grief, I was just so honored to be able to be in MN to attend her memorial at her favorite art center (where she and I had taken pottery together).

At the memorial, amidst her works of art (like this shirt that she created with batik - that hangs inside my closet door so I see it, and think of her, everyday), her husband and sons shared the story of her life and professed their love and admiration for her. It was the most heart-breaking ceremony I've ever attended. I wasn't up to sharing - but I wanted to. I wanted to tell funny Holly stories and listen to others' tales of her infectious humor and joy.

After the memorial I emailed her husband. I told him about some of the amusing stories and events that I shared with Holly. I also included a story that Holly told me about buying a very expensive, ornate armoire - without telling David, her husband. Knowing that he might be a bit concerned over her purchase, she resorted to something perfectly Holly! She purchased an expensive silk tie for him. When he came home from work, she greeted him in front of the new furniture with nothing on except the tie and just said, "So ... how do you like the armoire?"

I emailed him that I didn't know if it was a true story or not but I loved that story because it was so Holly. He wrote me back with just a quick answer - "It was a very nice tie!"

Friday, several months after she left us all, I just wanted to have lunch with her. To ask her advice, be part of her laughter, have her smile at me one more time. But, in all my sadness (and I can't even imagine what her family feels), I am so humbled to have had her as my girlfriend.

In my tears, I celebrated a blessed girlfriend. Don't delay in spending time with a girlfriend. Call her for lunch. Take her to dinner. Send her a card or give her a call. Then say a word of thanks for the gift of her friendship. Thanks Holly. I love you and am so blessed to have been your friend.

Having great Girlfriends is as stylish as ... Heather Locklear?

On Wednesday evening at our weekly girlfriend group meeting, I announced that I needed a haircut but had no idea what to do. As someone who had long hair (that I cut myself) almost my entire life, I'm not well versed in how to find a good haircut much less how to direct a hair stylist. In fact, I've only paid for my hair to be cut about five or six times - in my life! I'm a novice and I severely needed girlfriend advice. And, knowing that I was planning to go back to the salon school where students cut hair, I wanted to give great direction in order to get a good cut.

Thankfully my girlfriends came to the rescue! Becky thought layers would help my hair curl. Tina even sent me this Heather Locklear celebrity photo as well as great stylist tips -point tips, no razor, etc. Other girlfriends also gave advice. Karen told me the right products to use to bring out the curl. Lisa warned about getting layers cut too short.

I cautiously presented the celebrity hairstyle to my stylist/student April. Would it be too difficult for a student? Could I expect a somewhat complicated cut for $10? And, would they think I was delusional and actually thought I'd look exactly like Heather Locklear when I left there?!

But, I felt like I had my girlfriends with me. I explained to April and her instructor that the hairstyle and advice came from my girlfriends. They understood and came up with a plan. A few hours later, I walked out with a very nice cut. I'm no Heather Locklear (it would take several million dollars of plastic surgery and a small miracle for that!) but I can't wait to go show my girlfriends. In fact, I'm going to see Tina this afternoon at her pillow shop. I'm sure she'll approve.

Sure, in the big scheme of things - haircuts are minor (well, kind-of!). Aren't you glad girlfriends are there for the little and the BIG stuff? Where would we be without girlfriends? Lonely, bored, poorly dressed and with a bad hair cut?

Girlfriends are instant face(and attitude)-lifts, as well as always making it a good hair day! Female friends reduce stress, make us healthier and happier. And, girlfriends are great for giving advice and for helping us through little and big life decisions. Be the girlfriend you want to be! Make your girlfriends feel special, loved and beautiful. You'll come out feeling as stylish as Heather Locklear, without those pesty paparazzi!

Girlfriends make great Neighbors and Neighbors make great Girlfriends!

Little did I know when I found this house eight years ago, that I'd also find a street full of Girlfriends! There's Judy, Anne, Ann (and two former neighbors named Ann!), Karen, Stephanie, Jane, Genevieve, Dolly, Peggy, Sunny, Marilyn, Eula, Pam, Lori, Megan and a whole host of other great neighbors (including great friends and former neighbors Ellen and Dana!). I'm a lucky home-owner on a very nice street.

Today is my neighbor and fortunately my very good friend Anne's birthday. We can see what is on her TV and call to her from the front porch - and usually she is up for coming over, having neighborhood celebrations and hanging out for a glass of wine and conversation. She checks on the dog when we're out of town, waters plants and lets me invite myself over if I'm out of wine and need some girlfriend conversation! I feel so lucky to have a close friend that, well, close!

Do you know your neighbors? Can you borrow a cup of sugar or ask a favor of women in your neighborhood? Start a book club or walking group. Organize a street yard sale or happy hour. Sometimes it even helps to ask them for a favor and make it clear that you'll reciprocate. Women like to help each other out - give them that opportunity and make sure you look for ways to return the favor. Having girlfriends nearby is great! And having great girlfriends across the street makes me a very blessed person! Thanks Anne and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

p.s. If you live in Cincinnati and you need a good realtor, let me know and I'll connect you with Anne, the birthday girl and top realtor!

How clean does your house need to be for girlfriends?

Hmmm ... what are your thoughts? Do girlfriends feel welcome in your home at any time and in any condition? Do YOU feel comfortable with visiting female friends when you haven't mopped in too long to remember? Can girlfriends just stop by without warning?

My girlfriends are coming over tomorrow night. Yep, I'm blogging and Paula, Becky, Judy, Melody, Ruth Sara and Tina will be here this time tomorrow night. Yes, I could clean but I also know that they love me regardless of cobwebs and pet hair. (Plus I can hide some of the mess in closets and behind shut doors!)

Isn't it wonderful when you have female friends who are family? They can make themselves at home, know where the bathroom is and where to find paper if it runs out!

Invite your girlfriends over and don't worry about how clean things are or aren't. Girlfriends are meant to relieve stress, not cause it. Just enjoy your time together. You'll be so glad you did - and that you didn't need to clean after all!

Look around ... are your girlfriends nearby?

From my messy little office/studio, I am surrounded by so many things that remind me of my girlfriends. There are photos of my creative roomies Vicki, Lisa and Phyllis; my SCD buddies who inspire me Katie, Jill, Paula and Marie; and my supportive 'sister' girlfriends like Cath, Amy, Kate and Kleta. Gifts and cards from Vicki, Joan and Barb. Books from (and by!) Renee, Marie, Katie and Lisa. I feel like I'm 'hugged' by great girlfriends even in my little, lonely studio!

More than the 'stuff' on the walls and shelves, are the memories that seeing the photos and items bring to mind. Sharing with Katie and Lisa (like we'll do tomorrow for our mastermind group), laughing with Jill (which we did today on the phone), sharing a room with Vicki (who didn't know she snores!) ... friendships and the memories from them can keep me going through hard times, sleepless nights and lonely hours.

Do you have special reminders of your girlfriends around your office, bedroom or closet? Are there photos of your female friends in your wallet or framed around your home? May your surroundings surround you with reminders of female friends and happy times together. Aren't girlfriends great?!

Why a Blog? And why Girlfriendology???

Research indicates that women NEED female friendships - and that having girlfriends reduces stress and even makes us live longer*. The goal of Girlfriendology is to inspire, appreciate and celebrate girlfriends across the globe. In fact, I believe that having friendships with women in different areas of our city or the world makes us care more about them and be more compassionate, caring, peace-minded and involved. (And what better way to connect long distance than the world wide web?!)

Research also shows that women are catching up with men on internet usage and that we communicate online differently than men. (Dah!) We tend to share more of our lives with each other through email and blogs. Women's friendships are growing through the previously male-dominated internet. Combine all these facts and a blog is the perfect way to share stories, inspiration and ideas for female friendships.

Personally, this Girlfriendology blog has raised my awareness and appreciation of my girlfriends. Updates are inspired by the wonderful women who influence, interact with and care about me. (And I have more inspiring women than even time to blog about you all!) Only a blog can capture the on-going lessons of life and special moments with girlfriends which caused me to start Girlfriendology in the first place!

So, THANKS GIRLFRIENDS for inspiring me and for reminding me why it is so important to make sure we give attention, time, love and support to our great girlfriends.

Do you have female friends who have impacted your life? From giving thoughtful gifts, to cheering you up, to being a fun friend to hang out with - girlfriends make our lives special, happier and even healthier. Call up your girlfriends and get together. Then come back to Girlfriendology and share stories! Celebrate the amazing girlfriends in your life!

* Read more about this: The Tending Instinct, by Shelley Taylor

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If you're creative or 'crafty,' stop by GirlfriendologyToo for the creative side of girlfriends! I'm just growing this site of 'the creative side of inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends' and I welcome your creative comments!

Entrepreneurial Girlfriends & Reducing Stress!

Great things happen when you share what is on your mind and in your dreams with other girlfriends!

At our monthly entrepreneurial girlfriends group today, Judy confessed that her creative brain is always busy and she has LOTS of ideas for businesses she could start. (And, she's right!)

From someone who knows personally, creative women sometimes get overwhelmed with innovative ideas and an excess of dreams. And, add a busy life with a full-time job, family and trying to follow our dreams 'on the side,' and you can end up with a whole mess of stress!

Meeting with other girlfriends and discussing your ideas, challenges and dreams is therapeutic. It just feels much better to know that others struggle with the same things and that encouragement and feedback are offered with a loving voice.

Thanks Judy for sharing your dreams and for helping me on my way to mine. I look forward to being your girlfriend through whatever creative, entrepreneurial roads we follow. I feel better, lighter and more focused - thanks to you!

Do you meet with your girlfriends to discuss your dreams? If not, should you?! Add a comment if you have a dream you'd like to get input on from helpful, caring female friends or tell about girlfriend groups and how they've helped you. I bet your stress level is much lower because of your great gal pals!

* Sorry about the bad photo Judy! I'm just learning how to work my new phone camera! I'll get you another time! Check out Judy's blogs: PublishSmart and Blind Hog Press.

Bartering ideas and dreams ... the girlfriend way.

I offered to pay my friend Karen for consulting. She has knowledge that I want, so of course I wanted to compensate her for that - as I should. She, being the sweetheart that she is, suggested that we meet for dinner and I could buy and she could share. What a perfect barter!

Dinner tonight was informative and interesting, filling and fun! I believe we both had a wonderful evening. We shared goals/strategies that I know we'll cheer for each other for years to come.

Do you have a girlfriend you trust and admire their opinion? Invite them to dinner to give you a new perspective on things. Or, if you have a friend who needs some encouragement in reaching their dreams (and you're the positive, supportive friend who can help!), plan time together - soon.

Girlfriends don't age - they reduce age (and they reduce stress!). Girlfriends don't discourage - they stand up and cheer for you even when you don't feel like there is anything to feel good about. Be the girlfriend you want to be! (Thanks Karen!!)

Counting your girlfriend blessings ...

My girlfriend Renee and I caught up over dinner on Monday night. On Sunday night, upon arriving in Cleveland, she drove her rental car toward the hotel. But, before she could arrive, she was hit by a car on the highway, spun around, hit by another car, spun some more and finally ended up on the other side of the rush hour, busy highway. Miraculously, she walked away from the accident without a scratch but definitely very shaken up and frightened.

As she recalled the event, I couldn't help but take a personal, albeit self-centered, view of the terrible event. I would have been so incredibly hurt and sad had something happened to her. In that moment of sharing, I went inside to feel incredibly blessed to know her and to have her safely sitting next to me that evening. It brought a sense of wanting to hold on to her and not let her out of my sight. It was a blinding reminder to care for and stay close to the amazing female friends who bless my life just by being my friends.

Renee, I'm so happy you're okay and want only good things for you. And, again selfishly, I want to spend MANY more happy, fun, creative times together. To me, you are perfect and I just want to be around you as much as I can. (Can I move in with you and Danny?!)

I'm blessed that nothing happened to my dear friend but hopefully the accident will encourage me (and possibly you) to cherish your girlfriends. Have a friend who you should tell how special she is to you? Lost touch with someone whom you love and don't want to grow away from? Call. Write. Visit. Send a note. Count your girlfriend blessings - every one of the amazing women in your life!