8 ways to encourage a friend, by Jon Swanson

Jon Swanson featured this list of eight ways to encourage a friend. (Love guys who recognize the importance and value of friendship - Jon, you rock!) Thanks to Jon for sharing his list:

1. Take a picture (of your friend, of the two of you, of a cow, of a sign). Print it out (snapfish, flickr, walgreens, your own printer). Write a note telling them specifically how they are making a difference in lives. Mail it to them.

2. When they are in the middle of a busy day, send them a text.

3. Remember their birthday (Facebook, your birthday email from last year).

4. Take five minutes and make a mindmap. Here’s what that is: Put their name in the middle of a piece of paper. Around it make five lists: odd things they do; ways they care about others; objects or activities they love most; things THEY want to do better (NOT what YOU want them to do better); people who speak well of them. Put this paper next to your computer and include items from it in your notes and emails and conversations with them. (It tells them you thought about them).

5. Gossip good about them to a mutual friend.

6. Forgive them (don’t tell them about it, just forgive them).

7. Reply to their emails, even if just to acknowledge receipt.

8. Never assume they know you care.
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I love his ideas and encourage you to share more ways to encourage a friend! So girlfriends, how do you make your friend feel as special as her friendship is to you!

Girlfriends, Sisters, Mothers ... Women who bless our lives

My friend Laurie just sent me the following "chain email." I usually don't read, much less resend, those but this one is about girlfriends and all the wonderful women in our lives who bless, love, accept, inspire and encourage us.

Instead of passing this along in a mass email, I'll share it with you. As you read it, think about the special women in your life and how much they mean to you. Tomorrow is National Women's Friendship Day. Call up your girlfriends, or visit, have dinner together, send an eCard or greeting card, etc. Take time out for the special women who bless your life with their friendship and love. (Thanks Laurie!)

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.

Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.
BUT........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did.

How a Girlfriend's Laughter can lead to Tears.

Friday was a tough day for me. All my girlfriends have either left the company I work at or were out of town. Not to complain, but I just wanted to have lunch with a girlfriend. I needed some laughter and great conversation to cut the day in half.

My friend Holly and I always had the best lunches. No matter how your day was or how you felt, her laughter would light up the entire room and pull you into such a blessed place that you consciously were happy just being near her. After we both moved away from Minnesota, we rarely had the opportunity to have lunch together. Now that she's gone, I won't have that cherished, wonderful opportunity every again.

First, I need to tell you a little about my friend Holly. She loved her family and friends with an overflowing passion. She constantly inspired me and made me feel better about myself. Her friendship was treasured by all who knew her. Unfortunately, she succumbed to cancer last Thanksgiving. In my grief, I was just so honored to be able to be in MN to attend her memorial at her favorite art center (where she and I had taken pottery together).

At the memorial, amidst her works of art (like this shirt that she created with batik - that hangs inside my closet door so I see it, and think of her, everyday), her husband and sons shared the story of her life and professed their love and admiration for her. It was the most heart-breaking ceremony I've ever attended. I wasn't up to sharing - but I wanted to. I wanted to tell funny Holly stories and listen to others' tales of her infectious humor and joy.

After the memorial I emailed her husband. I told him about some of the amusing stories and events that I shared with Holly. I also included a story that Holly told me about buying a very expensive, ornate armoire - without telling David, her husband. Knowing that he might be a bit concerned over her purchase, she resorted to something perfectly Holly! She purchased an expensive silk tie for him. When he came home from work, she greeted him in front of the new furniture with nothing on except the tie and just said, "So ... how do you like the armoire?"

I emailed him that I didn't know if it was a true story or not but I loved that story because it was so Holly. He wrote me back with just a quick answer - "It was a very nice tie!"

Friday, several months after she left us all, I just wanted to have lunch with her. To ask her advice, be part of her laughter, have her smile at me one more time. But, in all my sadness (and I can't even imagine what her family feels), I am so humbled to have had her as my girlfriend.

In my tears, I celebrated a blessed girlfriend. Don't delay in spending time with a girlfriend. Call her for lunch. Take her to dinner. Send her a card or give her a call. Then say a word of thanks for the gift of her friendship. Thanks Holly. I love you and am so blessed to have been your friend.

Why a Blog? And why Girlfriendology???

Research indicates that women NEED female friendships - and that having girlfriends reduces stress and even makes us live longer*. The goal of Girlfriendology is to inspire, appreciate and celebrate girlfriends across the globe. In fact, I believe that having friendships with women in different areas of our city or the world makes us care more about them and be more compassionate, caring, peace-minded and involved. (And what better way to connect long distance than the world wide web?!)

Research also shows that women are catching up with men on internet usage and that we communicate online differently than men. (Dah!) We tend to share more of our lives with each other through email and blogs. Women's friendships are growing through the previously male-dominated internet. Combine all these facts and a blog is the perfect way to share stories, inspiration and ideas for female friendships.

Personally, this Girlfriendology blog has raised my awareness and appreciation of my girlfriends. Updates are inspired by the wonderful women who influence, interact with and care about me. (And I have more inspiring women than even time to blog about you all!) Only a blog can capture the on-going lessons of life and special moments with girlfriends which caused me to start Girlfriendology in the first place!

So, THANKS GIRLFRIENDS for inspiring me and for reminding me why it is so important to make sure we give attention, time, love and support to our great girlfriends.

Do you have female friends who have impacted your life? From giving thoughtful gifts, to cheering you up, to being a fun friend to hang out with - girlfriends make our lives special, happier and even healthier. Call up your girlfriends and get together. Then come back to Girlfriendology and share stories! Celebrate the amazing girlfriends in your life!

* Read more about this: The Tending Instinct, by Shelley Taylor

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If you're creative or 'crafty,' stop by GirlfriendologyToo for the creative side of girlfriends! I'm just growing this site of 'the creative side of inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends' and I welcome your creative comments!

Global Girlfriends?

In the past month I've met a traveling Australian woman, Sue, who was so lovely and wonderful I just met her and wanted her not to leave our home. Busi, a beautiful and spirit-filled South African woman, came to dinner and ended up serving us the most amazing love and joy. And, a woman from Germany stopped by the blog - I don't even know who she was (so I don't know or track specifically who you are!) but it amazed me to reach out to other countries.

This world-wide web of women has me thinking. How do women in other nations inspire, appreciate and celebrate their girlfriends? How can we learn from that? And, don't you think we women could change the world if we all knew each other? You always care more about people you know so if women joined together to care and love each other, and we have a HUGE influence on men/our families, and the problems of the world might come down to platforms or pumps, vegetarian or gourmet, paper or plastic and your deck for dinner or my block to walk?

You. Yes - YOU. Reach out. Influence three (or more) other women to expand their bounds of friends. Find a way to get to know females in other neighborhoods or countries. Invite a group of girlfriends over for dinner and build new friendships. Welcome new girlfriends into your world - especially when there are differences that you both bring to the table and leave you with a new understanding of other women.

And, when you do - share. Comment on this blog. Invite your girlfriends to visit Girlfriendology too. Together we CAN change the world. One girlfriend at a time.