Riding a Roller Coaster - with my Girlfriends by my side

It's been a roller coaster week. I won't get into the details, but someone went out of their way to make my life painful. It hurt to be the target of someone I've treated fairly and with respect. It really hurt. It was a lower-than-low, strange, sad, painful experience.

On the upside, I had three get-togethers with girlfriends (some previous close sister-like friends, some new friends of friends who welcomed me into their world with acceptance and support). Every single time I'm surrounded by supportive women, I'm completely humbled and so very thankful. These women graciously offer their ideas, contacts, positive reinforcement that my dream is reachable - and a willingness to help me stretch out farther towards it. I recognize how blessed I am and thankful for the amazing women in my life.

Then, back comes the lowness of others who mistreat and misquote. Wait a bit and it's back up to the summit with amazing women who inspire and support me. The ride continues.

I know this is life. I'm fine with that. It just humbles me when such extreme emotions can be defined in the short course of a week. I, like the little girl in the photo, would be in trouble without the hand of a loving friend to hold onto and the honor of their company through the high and low points of life.

This week makes me want to be a better friend. To be there for my friends during their roller coasters of sadness, doubt, sickness as well as to celebrate with them the achievement of getting through the low points and recognize their efforts when they are riding high on success, strength and well-deserved happiness.

Having a roller coaster week or know a girlfriend who is? Don't be afraid to reach out to your girlfriends - to support them or ask for their assistance in riding out the challenges that we all have to face from time to time. Be there for them and they will be there for you. Thank goodness for Girlfriends!

Back to the 'real world' - but with my girlfriends!

Making it back from Paris in less time than a full day at work is pretty amazing. Actually, it is 'time travel' that invigorates me and gives me time to pause and think about life, places, adventures, God, people, the husband and puppy that await me, etc. The time difference plays tricks with me and my brain bounced around from ideas and dreams, to worries and fears. All in all, international travel is fascinating and surreal - and I love it.

Fortunately for me, I return home to a country of friends, a city of neighbors and a home with a cute, but bigger, puppy. Phone calls and emails check in on my safe travels and international adventures. Lunches are planned with girlfriends (Lisa and Becky - see you next week) to catch up on all the little details that make up our lives. Life is good. Being home is great.

The real world also brought back a sad reality of a friend with a very ill infant. I had prayed for Daniel while in the Atlantic sky and return to learn that there are more severe diagnoses and potential challenges ahead. I wish there was 'time travel' for my girlfriend and her husband. I wish they could travel to a place where Daniel was well and they are able to laugh together as a family. I'd transport them to a place where they're happy not sad, rested and relaxed not stressed and where answers and solutions would reveal themselves. If only I really had the power of time travel.

But back in the 'real world' with a real time difference and still a bit of jet lag, I'm blessed to have friends, health, a sweet puppy, a warm house and a good life. Thanks friends for caring about me and my travels. Thanks girlfriends for the gift of your friendship and for all the happy memories of times together. And, if you're the 'praying kind,' please say a special prayer for Daniel and his parents. Pray that time will be a friend and that they will share great moments together.


P.S. One of my Christmas gifts from a very dear, thoughtful friend (and a wonderful gift buyer!) was from my friend Terri who gave me "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was the perfect book to read while traveling and while pondering big life questions. For me, it was a very spiritual, uplifting book that made me look at people differently. Like on the Paris train with the gypsy accordion players, I noticed people's eyes and tried to see the beauty in every person. During my many sleepless nights I prayed for Daniel and my friends and to learn the lessons that I need. Thanks Terri! It was great to have something from you with me in Germany and France. It really made my trip much more meaningful and enjoyable!

Remembering a Girlfriend ... Celebrating Anne-Marie

It was a strange week. High and low points hitting on the same day. An emotional roller coaster kind of week. (Thankfully I have my girlfriends to join me on this wild ride called 'life!')

On a high point, it was my birthday and I got lots of calls, cards and attention. I had a fun lunch with my gal pal Becky ("the kitchen goddess" and hopefully the next Food Network Star!). After an art gallery visit, we had a very nice dinner with my roommate from college, Barb, and her husband Steve. There were gifts, quality time with friends and time to celebrate life and friendships. It was a good day. Well sort of ...

Several years ago I decided to have my long hair (below my waist since about second grade) cut off. It was pretty drastic and deserved some support which Anne-Marie and Cath offered. Cath arranged the appointment and went with me. Anne-Marie showed up with a brown paper bag. In it was a party! Wine, cheese, snacks - we had quite an afternoon at the salon! It made it memorable and fun. (And I donated my hair to Locks of Love so it benefited someone else.) I love the memories of that day and smile thinking back to that hair-cutting party in the salon with Anne-Marie and Cath.

As much as my girlfriend Cath didn't want to share the news with me on my birthday, she had to. I wanted to know. Our mutual friend Anne-Marie died on my birthday. Anne-Marie courageously fought Hodgkin's Lymphoma for six years. She was strong, sassy, friendly, funny and so caring.

Cath wins the great girlfriend award for being by her side for the final weeks of her life, as she had for the 18 previous years. She had some amazing conversations with both Anne-Marie and her family. She generously gave her time, love and support. In the end, there are sweet and sad memories to celebrate. But celebrate it is, because she was here to bless many, many lives.

I know with girlfriends, that generally the happy times far exceed the sad but I am thankful for and humbled by the gifts of love that girlfriends give each other. From spending time making something little like a haircut into a party, to holding onto each other during tough times. As shared in the most recent podcast (amazing stories of the winners of the recent Girlfriendology contest), girlfriends have been there for each other through loss of a spouse, moves and financial struggles, illness, etc. As challenging as life is, we really couldn't do it alone. We need our girlfriends.

If it is a birthday or a bad day, be there for your girlfriends. Happy or sad, healthy or not, loved or lonely - girlfriends make it much better. Try it. Share your life with a friend and allow her to share her 'real' life with you too. Hold onto the important things in life ... like the friend who is there for you no matter what. Celebrate your friendships and memories of wonderful people who bless your life. Thanks girlfriends. Thanks Anne-Marie and thanks Cath!

More Girlfriends - More Thanks! More Blessings!

This has been a tough week. Our great golden, Stella, had to be put to sleep a week ago today and nothing seems the same as when she was such a part of our life. Our sleeping and eating, laughter and tears, coming and going are all different now.

The one stabilizing constant is our friends. Girlfriends, neighbors, coworkers, family ... so many have sent cards, wrote emails, left flowers, mailed gifts, etc. It has been so comforting to know that they care about us and understand the grief of losing a beloved family pet.

Specifically I'd like to thank just a few of our friends for their thoughtfulness:

* Bridget - our former neighbor who recently had family sadness to deal with, still made the effort to write a beautiful note and leave us some chocolate and wine (which, in keeping with her/my/Stella's hair color was a "Redhead Red")

* Liz & Jeff, Nikki & Todd, Shelley & Dave - neighbors who have dogs and understand our sadness, left flowers and cards

* Ellen & Doug - former neighbors and wonderful friends who we called with the news because they loved Stella too. They sent a very thoughtful and yummy gift from their cabin in northern Michigan.

* Anne, Penny, Becky, Dana & Bear - who spent time with us comforting and serving as a much needed distraction and respite

Too many to name them all but each of them special and loved. We still are sad but with friends like these, we know we are blessed beyond measure. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for caring, thoughtfulness and your kindness.

Pet your animals. Rescue/adopt a stray. Call a friend. Write a note. Give a hug. Count your blessings. Thanks friends!

Eulogy for a Perfect Dog - Thanks Stella (and thanks girlfriends for caring for me)

"Dave's Girl Stella" AKA: Stella-BoBella, Wigglebutt, Silly Girl

It is with immeasurable sadness that I say good-bye to the best furry friend a girl could have. Our almost 12-year old Golden Retriever, Stella, passed away this week from a way-too-fast battle with cancer. Friday afternoon she was fine, that night she had trouble walking and it just went downhill.

I know the loss of a pet can't compare with losing a child, husband or close 'human' but who couldn't fall deeply in love with a face as sweet as hers? My sadness runs deep and my tears won't end. She was our constant companion, best buddy, cheap entertainment, reason to exercise and favorite comedian. She was a friend I'll never recover from losing.

Thanks first to Stella. She gave us years of love, laughter and joy. You'll be missed on an on-going basis forever.

Thanks too to my girlfriends. So many of my female friends have shown me great acts of sympathy and compassion. Dog-lovers/owners or not, they feel my pain and for that I am so grateful. Thanks to Deana for the gorgeous plant which will always remind me of Stella and also of your kind friendship. To Becky, who came right over to hug me, I love that you have a heart for dogs as well (and that you foster so many!). Thanks to Terri, Beth Anne, LL Cool J, Tina, Ruth Sara, Melody, Barb and so many other fabulous female friends who sent words of love and support. Thanks to Anne and Penny for trying to distract us with conversation and food/beverages. We need that - thanks!

I miss Stella. I really, really do. She was an amazing dog. But I'm also blessed with loving, caring girlfriends who are also amazing and are helping me through this sad time. Thanks to you all. I feel your hugs from all over, and it helps. Thanks, Debba

How a Girlfriend's Laughter can lead to Tears.

Friday was a tough day for me. All my girlfriends have either left the company I work at or were out of town. Not to complain, but I just wanted to have lunch with a girlfriend. I needed some laughter and great conversation to cut the day in half.

My friend Holly and I always had the best lunches. No matter how your day was or how you felt, her laughter would light up the entire room and pull you into such a blessed place that you consciously were happy just being near her. After we both moved away from Minnesota, we rarely had the opportunity to have lunch together. Now that she's gone, I won't have that cherished, wonderful opportunity every again.

First, I need to tell you a little about my friend Holly. She loved her family and friends with an overflowing passion. She constantly inspired me and made me feel better about myself. Her friendship was treasured by all who knew her. Unfortunately, she succumbed to cancer last Thanksgiving. In my grief, I was just so honored to be able to be in MN to attend her memorial at her favorite art center (where she and I had taken pottery together).

At the memorial, amidst her works of art (like this shirt that she created with batik - that hangs inside my closet door so I see it, and think of her, everyday), her husband and sons shared the story of her life and professed their love and admiration for her. It was the most heart-breaking ceremony I've ever attended. I wasn't up to sharing - but I wanted to. I wanted to tell funny Holly stories and listen to others' tales of her infectious humor and joy.

After the memorial I emailed her husband. I told him about some of the amusing stories and events that I shared with Holly. I also included a story that Holly told me about buying a very expensive, ornate armoire - without telling David, her husband. Knowing that he might be a bit concerned over her purchase, she resorted to something perfectly Holly! She purchased an expensive silk tie for him. When he came home from work, she greeted him in front of the new furniture with nothing on except the tie and just said, "So ... how do you like the armoire?"

I emailed him that I didn't know if it was a true story or not but I loved that story because it was so Holly. He wrote me back with just a quick answer - "It was a very nice tie!"

Friday, several months after she left us all, I just wanted to have lunch with her. To ask her advice, be part of her laughter, have her smile at me one more time. But, in all my sadness (and I can't even imagine what her family feels), I am so humbled to have had her as my girlfriend.

In my tears, I celebrated a blessed girlfriend. Don't delay in spending time with a girlfriend. Call her for lunch. Take her to dinner. Send her a card or give her a call. Then say a word of thanks for the gift of her friendship. Thanks Holly. I love you and am so blessed to have been your friend.