Guaranteed Stress Reliever - seriously!

It has been a stressful week. Employee/boss issues (not fun!), having too much to do and not enough time to do what I really want to do (build Girlfriendology!), and family challenges combined for an elevated stress level.

UCLA researcher Shelley Taylor (author of The Tending Instinct) and her team studied stress in women. (Previous studies were only on men!) They found that oxytocin is released with stress. For men, the response is 'fight or flight.' For women it is much different. Women react to stress with a need to 'tend and befriend.' We want to tend to our young and be with our girlfriends. (My oxytocin level was HUGE this past week!)

Thursday night was our monthly women-only book club. We shared appetizers, desserts, sangria and some (albeit minimal!) discussion of the book. Mostly we 'befriend' each other. Our conversations cover new restaurants nearby, houses bought/sold on the street, funny stories of kids, helpful things like a good handyman or special event in the neighborhood. If the windows are open, our laughter is heard several houses away. We even share sad, difficult news - because life is that way too sometimes.

At the end of an always fun evening, we return to our homes with tales of neighbors and community updates. 'Magically' my mind had left the stressful work worries and other challenges. I was renewed in my passion for creating Girlfriendology and hoping to help women build community with each other - as a priority and a fabulous biological characteristic of women.

I didn't get The Tending Instinct on the book list for next month, however I did experience the stress relief that comes only from being with my girlfriends. Thanks wonderful women of East Hyde Park for reducing my oxytocin level and for being the kind of girlfriends who really make this community home.

Girlfriends ... the umbrella of bad stuff?

I was completely honest with my girlfriends in our weekly get-together last night. (Yes, weekly - we are a priority and it is definitely worth it! THANKS Paula's (2!), Becky, Melody, Ruth Sara, Tina and Judy.)

It has been a tough week. Work is much more difficult than it should be and I'm desperately trying to get Girlfriendology (coming soon!) up and running - ASAP! My girlfriends are so supportive and loving. They are my cheerleaders and inspiration.

Right in line with our discussion on dealing with challenges and going through 'stormy' times, the clouds rolled in and the sky got really dark. As I drove home under a HUGE gray cloud, I could see clear sky in the distance. I just happened to be under the clouds at that moment but, like with my tough times, that would be temporary. And they helped me remember that.

Do you have a friend who you need be their 'umbrella' from the storms that life sometimes brings? Or, are you under a cloud yourself? Reach out to your girlfriends. Even if it rains on you or them, it is much more fun to be under an umbrella with a girlfriend who loves you.

Looking for the good ... in a not so good time

Beautiful, talented, smart, funny and kind are just a few wonderful descriptions of my friend Dana. College buddies, we've gone through moves, changes and challenges since we graduated. Our friendship has endured and grown - which is such a blessing to me.

It is so tough to see her fight cancer again. I wish I could do anything to help her or even take her mind off things for a while. I so much want to say just the right thing.

A girlfriend of her's recently had the perfect response to her situation. She asked Dana, "I know the bad stuff going on, but what good things are going on in your life?" It relieved Dana from talking about treatment and thinking about her great husband, Bear (another college buddy). It took her mind off the reality of work and trying to keep her energy during a stressful chemo season. It reminded her of the beautiful home, wonderful life and so many loving friends that she has. (I wish I'd said it - but I'm so glad someone did!)

So Dana, thanks for reminding me to remember the good things. And thanks for teaching me to, if needed, help you remember the good things too. (And thanks for being one of the very good things in my life. I love you - you are my sister.)

Get Well Wishes ...

My fabulous friend Cathy is recovering from surgery. I got the message it all went well, but I can't wait to talk with her and get her version of that! I hope she is resting comfortably, that her family is taking great care of her and that she has good drugs when/if she needs them.

How have you tended to a girlfriend who has been sick? Have you written cards? Visited? Sent or delivered flowers? Showed up with a can of chicken soup and a couple chick flick DVDs?

Great girlfriends deserve pampering and I'd love to do that for Cath - and hope to when she's up to visitors. Let me know what you've done (or had done for you) for taking care of your girlfriends. Be well, dear friend!

Boating along with Ellen

My girlfriend Ellen (and her husband, Doug) have a boat and last night we joined them on the Ohio River. Threatening rain, we braved it and went out for an evening together.

As we sat in the back and let the boys drive and talk, we caught up on life. Her cute kids, our work challenges, upcoming travels, fashionable belts and painting our toenails - important stuff! Just things you share when you share life with someone - no matter how often or seldom you get to spend time together.

As we pulled into the dock at the end of the night, the rain started - perfect timing! We docked, covered up the boat and ran for our cars. It was a perfect evening. We had shared laughs, concerns, wishes, our lives. And our time together will be another memory that we'll share - together.

What can you do to create a memory for yourself and a friend? What event, fun plans, 'sharing opportunity' should you take advantage of? Go for it! Even in the rain, the great memories take place when you're together. Don't miss out on any of them - especially among girlfriends!

So nice to talk with a girlfriend ...

As we walked to the Greekfest last night (an annual tradition!), my college roommate best friend Barb and I walked ahead of the group so we could catch up. Between conversations ranging from underwear to husbands, the satisfaction of growing flowers to what her kids are up to, we reconnected (as we always do).

I love those times. When I can just be myself and know that my girlfriend will understand, listen, care, share and be there for me. In my opinion, there is nothing so wonderful as connecting with a dear friend.

Our underwear and husbands are different, as are the flowers in our gardens but we always feel so close and connected. Who do you need to reconnect with? What conversations could you have over a nice walk and talk together? Call. Phone. Email. Plan. Girlfriends are worth it. (Thanks Barb!)

Girlfriends Unite ...

My wonderful girlfriend Becky is a self-proclaimed 'foodie.' She (aka: "The Kitchen Goddess"!) is a personal chef, food demo'er, instructor, even radio personality. She knows food and serves our girlfriend group meals on a regular basis. (She is a wonderful friend to have!)

Today we decided to join forces - combing The Kitchen Goddess and Girlfriendology. Together we'll host girlfriend dinner parties with personalized menus, cooking lessons and other fun girlfriend get-together surprises. (Maybe a massage before dinner, then you and your girlfriends have dinner together in your robes???)

What ideas do you have on fun get-togethers we can do? What fun events have you hosted or attended with your girlfriends? Isn't it always worth the time and effort?!?!

From my girlfriend Barb - thanks!

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

BUT - Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you, or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended family all bless our life.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.

THANKS GIRLFRIENDS!

Need Support? Start a Girlfriend Group!

Today was the first meeting of my entrepreneurial girlfriends group. Tina (who does interior design/pillows - Casa Delorenzo), Becky (the chef, self-proclaimed 'Foodie') and Judy (a technical and all other kinds of writing guru). Each of us are thankful for our creative nature but also deal then with having too many ideas sometimes, and not knowing exactly what direction in which to head!

Our group shares what is going on in our entrepreneurial businesses, the challenges we face and our goals. We each try to assist with solutions, ideas and connections. Basically, we just try to be each other's girlfriends - offering anything we can to help each other be successful and happy.

Do you have entrepreneurial dreams? Or would you just like to talk about how you're handling life and see if others might be able to make the journey more fun? Start a girlfriend group. Set a schedule that doesn't cause stress. Find a common place to meet - like a coffee shop or restaurant. Invite friends (maybe some that have common goals/situations) and let them invite some of their friends. Keep it 'no stress' by not taking it personally if someone isn't interested in joining or misses get-togethers. (Food, or at least coffee, are especially helpful in keeping the group together and having wonderful conversations over!)

Don't be shy. Having girlfriends keeps us healthy physically and emotionally, reduces stress and just makes life more fun! Start a girlfriend group and share your stories/photos at Girlfriendology.com.

Enjoy life. Spend time with your girlfriends!

More Creative Girlfriends!

Once a long-haul, huge semi truck driver (seriously! for over 15 years!) my girlfriend Pam recreated herself. She found her inner artist soul and went from living on the road to becoming the editor of a top beading magazine - Bead Unique. She is living her dream now - working from home on a great publication, leading two beading trade show/education events, going to craft/hobby trade shows and doing what she loves.

And, she inspires me. It makes me think - if she can go from truck driver to magazine editor, what can I do if I set my mind to it? What direction will 'following my bliss' lead me? Isn't it time I recreate the life of my dreams?

What inspirational women do you have in your life? Friends, or even strangers, who have done amazing things are a great source of inspiration and pride. Look for others who recreated themselves and who live their life to the fullest. Now go be that type of woman and inspire others!

(And, thanks Pam! You rock!!!)

Happy Birthday Cath!!!!

Today is my very good friend Cathy's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Even though she doesn't live in a different state, with our wacky schedules, we don't get to see each other nearly often enough. However, the few times we spend time together each year are always a reminder why we should make the effort to be together more often.

Do you have a friend who, no matter how distance she lives, you'll always be close? Do you do certain things to make sure you don't lose touch? What do you recommend for being a great long-distance girlfriend? I'd love to hear. Because I'd love to try some of your ideas out on Cath so I can make sure she feels as special to me as she really is!

Vacation from Girlfriends?

For the past three days I've been hanging out in Chicago with my husband. I'm a lucky girl in that we have a great relationship and friendship. However, too much time away from my girlfriends makes me a little stressed. I enjoy the energy I get from my girlfriends and sharing the special bond of our friendship. I actually need my girlfriends to make my life complete.

I'm happy to be home. To see the dog and cat. To get to water my plants and get back to my routine. And I'm very happy to get to spend time with my girlfriends, like our weekly get-together tomorrow night. When I'm with them, I take a different type of vacation. One away from stress and one where I laugh, share and feel very loved. Thanks to my wonderful women buddies. You're great to come home to!

Hello from Jillville! What a great place!!

I wish I could add an audio file to this blog - just for Jill. She has one volume for her laugh - loud. It is the most honest, pull you in and crack you up kind-of laughter. Contagious also describes her energy and passion for her friends. I am so fortunate to be one of them. She is a joy to know and a blessing that impacts who I am and whom I will become.

Jill is an amazingly-talented jewelry designer. (She's a 'superstar' - really! But she hates when I call her that - sorry honey!) Check out her jewelry designs at www.jillmackay.com. So beautiful, creative and classic!

"Jillville" is an amazing place. Just being around her or even when our friendship is long distance - any connection with her is memorable and meaningful. Thank you, my special, kind, loving friend. I am so proud of you and so honored to be your friend!

Creative Chicks = Great Girlfriends

Previously I was a member of a very creative organization of almost all women. I met amazing women who inspired, challenged, taught and celebrated with me. One of them, Lisa, I'm meeting for coffee tomorrow as I drive to meet another one of them, Jill, to help her sell her fabulous jewelry at a huge bead show. Because I met them, and the others, I have a wonderful network of women all across the U.S. and Canada.

Another very talented woman I met was Kirsten. She is a licensed designer who continues to create herself a wonderful career. Recently she teamed up with one of her girlfriends, Rosemary, for a new digital scrapbook company - Digital Scrap Chicks. It is a fun, colorful resource for those who love to design their scrapbook layouts while leaving the paper designs to the experts!

Even though times and organizations have changed, we all are doing different things with our lives and we even live in different countries, connecting with our girlfriends is a wonderful thing. Who haven't you touched base with lately? What girlfriend has been on your mind? Get in touch. Great girlfriends are worth the time and effort! Thanks Kirsten, Jill and Lisa! (And all my other SCD girlfriends!)

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

Having girlfriends is great, right? When it is not so great? When you have a girlfriend that you really care about and she is dealing with bad stuff. As a friend, what do you do?

My friend Allison is a jock. She works out six to seven days/week, eats right, does all the things we're supposed to do. But she's battling cancer again and she isn't supposed to do that.

One of my first reactions to the news was - What do I do? How can I be the best friend possible? What can I say/do to make things better? And, to figure these big questions out, I wanted to be around my girlfriends and ask them. We all learn from each other. That's definitely the beauty of having great girlfriends - we share what we learn from make-up tips, shoe sales to big stuff like how to care for our families and friends, dealing with big challenges and handling life with grace and love.

I'd love your response. What can I do to be there for her? What have you done, or others have done for you, to help and show that you really care? Thanks for caring and helping me show how much I care as well.

Power Lunch

Do you sometimes feel alone and powerless? Confused at which way to turn and how to proceed? We all go through that but we don't have to - at least alone. Reach out to a girlfriend for advice or just to listen. She'll know how important she really is to you - try it!

I met my girlfriend Ruth Sara today. I asked her to lunch so I could (selfishly!) ask for her advice. She's smart and successful, in addition to being so dang cute in her skinny work-out clothes! She built and sold her own business and, being on the front-end of starting Girlfriendology, I shared my entrepreneurial ideas. We talked through all kinds of creative opportunities and options. It was a very powerful lunch!

Having girlfriends means you don't need to take on problems, concerns or even big ideas by yourself. Personally, I feel that friend's strengths transfer over through sharing and caring together.

Have an idea, challenge or problem that makes you feel alone and powerless? Call a girlfriend. Take her to lunch or for coffee. Do a walk/talk. Just like you'd do anything to help her out, remember that she'd be honored to help you. Thanks Ruth Sara!! I really, really appreciate your time, for offering ideas and, mainly, for being my friend.

Decorating your life ... with Girlfriends

You know how just a single pillow can express your personal style and pull together a whole room? Friends do that too - and are also great to lean on!

My friend Tina is a talented, creative pillow/interior designer(www.casadelorenzo.com). We met at through an entrepreneurial 'mastermind' group where we shared our dreams, helped each other and held one another accountable for making progress toward reaching our dreams. Last night we bought salads at a local gourmet grocery then walked to a park where we ate, talked and laughed for hours. She listened, shared great ideas and completely inspired me.

As I've continued my journey to encourage females toward 'inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends,' I've become more aware of the special women in my life who decorate my life with creative ideas, caring hearts and support that encourages me to "go for it."

Actually, that is my 'personal style' for girlfriends. I am drawn to friends with positive attitudes, passionate lives and who are interested in 'doing life' with me. Just like when you buy a new car and suddenly see that model all over the place, once you identify and appreciate certain traits in girlfriends, you start drawing them to you.

Think about your girlfriends and whose friendships you really enjoy and appreciate. Be the kind of friend to them that they are to you. Be open to new friendships. Explore people who share your dreams and may offer you even a new perspective. And, when you need to, lean on your girlfriends and offer them the same support. Decorate your life with wonderful women!

Feeling Beautiful - Thanks Becky!

My friend Becky is a self-proclaimed 'girlie girl.' She always looks fabulous, her nails are always painted (perfect painted toe nails are required for summer shoes!) and she loves to hang out with her girlfriends. That makes me a very lucky, blessed friend!

Today we met for lunch at a new restaurant. She brought a brown bag with Thai beer in it to share - which definitely made it a special lunch! (The restaurant doesn't have a liquor license and allow you to do so.) Conversation ranged from picking out bras, to pole dancing, to our entrepreneurial dreams - definitely girlfriend talk!

After a quick stop at a girlie gift shop, we went to a nearby spa for facials. What a fun day and wonderful way to pamper ourselves and celebrate our friendship.

Thanks Becky for making the plans and including me! Every time I do something with just my girlfriends I'm reminded how important those conversations and fun moments are, and how lucky I am!

Do you have a girlfriend who you really should call and make plans? Or a friend who just needs some quality girlfriend time with you? Don't delay - call! Make plans. Stay in touch. You'll be glad you did!