Girlfriends ... Remember Who You Wanted To Be!

Why not remember who you wanted to be ... and then become that?! As girlfriends we have the opportunity to inspire, encourage and support each other in the journey of life as we hopefully strive for happiness and the possibility of being the person we wanted to be as a sweet, innocent child.

Listen in to the newest Girlfriendology podcast with JODY ENGLAND, from BuzZen for inspiration on how to achieve your goals and live your best life. Or as she describes it, experience what happens when the Law of Attraction meets Girls Night Out!

Have a perfect week. Make progress on your dreams and share the journey with a girlfriend.

p.s. For extra girlfriend support, Jody offered a two-month free membership in "The Hive" - the community of BuzZen girlfriends. Visit The Hive for your free membership.

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Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast with JODY ENGLAND, BuzZen Co-founder

It's no 'secret,' the Law of Attraction caused quite a buzzzzz a few years ago. Where did that energy go? How did/can women use the Law of Attraction to make 'real' changes in their lives?

JODY ENGLAND, co-founder of BuzZen, joined us on the latest Girlfriendology podcast to help us put the Law of Attraction in action! Hear how BuzZen provides community, conscious gifts and coaching - all key elements in making the rest of your life radically different than had you not heard the 'buzz.'

Jody studied the Law of Attraction and, along with her girlfriend Kim Yardlay, decided to make the Law of Attraction a reality for all of us who aspire to living life to our potential. A successful entrepreneur and former therapist, counseling at-risk families, children, and individuals, Jody has transformed her unique blend of experience as a leading voice in both the business world and the nonprofit arena, to empowering women to grant themselves permission to unlock their personal power.

Together Jody and Kim founded BuzZen. BuzZen is a company founded on the principles of contribution and inclusion, designed to appeal to women of all backgrounds, religions and ethnicities and welcome one and all. They believe that through connecting at our deepest level of “sister,” we are all empowered and enriched.

Before we share any more, let's look at these 'lessons from a girlfriend' from our podcast interview with Jody England of BuzZen:

* REAL CHANGE HAPPENS WITH GIRLFRIENDS - As Jody mentioned in the podcast, we can make change on our own but often it doesn't make a difference since there is no one to hold us accountable, encourage us and help us through the process. Unless, of course, you make the change in your life WITH your girlfriends. BuzZen does this by creating a program for small groups of women to go through the process in the BuzZen box and make the transformation together. (The BuzZen Box was featured in the Academy Award Nominee bags!)

* HAVE FUN! - I'll just stereotype here ... when women get together, we almost always have FUN! Of course the same is true for women in "The Hive" (the BuzZen community). Not metaphysical or magical, they're really all about the friendships and fun (oh, and bee-ing transformed which is a wonderful change to accomplish with your girlfriends!). As they describe it, it is like the Law of Attraction meets Girls Night Out!

* PUT THE LAW OF ATTRACTION TO ACTION - The popularity of 'The Secret' was made hugely popular on Oprah. It wasn't just the celebrity endorsement, the Law of Attraction is powerful - that is, if it is actually put into practice. So many of us didn't quite grasp how to use this way of manifesting our dreams into a real, day-to-day practice. BuzZen is a practical guide to putting the Law of Attraction into action in our lives on a daily basis. Now that's powerful!

Listen in to our wonderful conversation as we explore how the Law of Attraction is actually put into action to make a wonderful transformation in our lives. And, hear how having other women on the same journey can be part of 'The Hive' and inspire and challenge each other to reach greatness!

You can be part of the 'The Hive' too! Jody generously offered a free two month membership to 'The Hive' (the interactive online community of women BuzZen members!). So try it out and see what all the Buzzzz is about!

Thanks Jody! Check out BuzZen and I'll meet you at The Hive!

On our next podcast, the winners of the May Girlfriendology Contest share their inspiring stories! And, don't forget to enter the June Girlfriendology Contest! We have over 35 prizes and just ask for you to send a story about an amazing girlfriend or a friend who has gone out of her way for you to contest@girlfriendology.com or leave a message (with your email address spelled out) at 206-202-9005. Check out all the great prizes and send in your girlfriend story!

Spend time with the 'right ' Girlfriends!

Funny, but the more we explore 'girlfriendship,' the more we realize the value and importance of our friends. Whom we chose for friends and who we are as a friend, has wide impact on all aspects of our lives.

Read the following blog for Lessons Learned from Girlfriend podcast interview with DEBI SILBER. And, read this article that Debi shared with us:

Who You Spend Time With Determines How You Feel
by Debi Silber

Tell me who you spend your time with and I’ll tell you how you feel. Sounds impossible? It’s really not. You see, we often take on the feelings, behaviors and attitudes of those we spend time with. For example, let’s say you have a friend or coworker who’s always complaining. She’s speaks negatively about her body, her job, her relationships and her life. She looks forward to spending time with you because it gives her an opportunity to vent and find relief. Once she’s through, she feels lighter, freer and ready to go on with her day. She enjoys speaking to you because you’re a great listener, enabling her to be heard and valued. That works for her but how do you feel? Chances are you feel drained, deflated and uninspired. Although your intention was to be a good friend, once you became involved emotionally in your friends negativity, you were brought right down with her.

Now on the other hand, let’s say you have plans to see a friend who is lighthearted, enthusiastic and embraces life with eagerness and zest. Just thinking about this friend brings a smile to your face because you know you’ll be having fun and enjoying each other’s company. After your time together, you’re excited about the rest of your day. You want to capture every moment and see all the beauty that’s around you. Your friend may not have intentionally tried to alter your thinking but her positive approach and attitude was infectious.

Which person is better for your health? Studies show that positive thinkers have a 55% lower risk of death from all causes and 23% lower risk of death from heart failure. That’s not to say that the more positive person doesn’t experience anything unpleasant. In fact, the positive, optimistic person may have experienced more unfortunate situations than the negative, pessimistic person. The result of these experiences however leaves the positive thinker with a greater appreciation, perspective and sense of gratitude. They are grateful for what they see and have because they may have something less pleasant to compare it with. When they encounter a stressful situation, they look for ways to improve it versus letting it consume them. When a problem arises, they use it as an opportunity to find the most appropriate solution, rather than dwelling or magnifying all that’s gone wrong.

The negative person works much differently. They expect negative results and when it happens, it only confirms what they’d originally predicted. They’re more comfortable judging, gossiping or criticizing because putting others down offers them some relief from their pain. The negative person maintains the role of “victim” in a script she’s written for herself. She feels other’s are responsible for her “lot in life” and often uses it as an excuse to stay exactly where she is.

Within each of us is a broad range of emotions. An optimist doesn’t only experience joy and the pessimist doesn’t only experience negativity. It’s just that the optimist chooses to expect happiness, success and pleasure and as a result, that’s what they find. The pessimist chooses to replay negative thoughts which lead to negative results. It’s a choice. We choose how we want to think, feel and act. Although we may be conditioned to think or react a certain way, if we don’t like the results it is our choice to change. That’s why if we’re working towards changing the way we think, feel and react, it’s important to be careful about the people you’re spending your time with. Look for like minded people who support, encourage and inspire you. Limit your time with people who drain, upset and frustrate you.

This is your life. You are the driver of your car on the road to fulfillment, greater purpose and happiness. While there may be many detours, you have the power to steer yourself in whichever direction you choose to go. If you want to feel good, steer yourself towards an optimistic perspective and let your relationships support your cause. If you choose pessimism, misery loves company and you’ll find many people welcoming you into their negative club. Life is a journey and we don’t travel alone. Who are you bringing on your ride?

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC is a Registered Dietitian, Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach and the President of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. For nearly 20 years, Debi’s worked exclusively with moms to encourage them to become fit, healthy and happy through gradual, lifestyle change. Debi’s also known as “The Mojo Coach” because she inspires and empowers overweight, overwhelmed and unfit moms to “get their mojo back!” For more information on the Lifestyle Fitness Program, please visit Lifestyle Fitness Inc.

COPYRIGHT © 2008 LIFESTYLE FITNESS INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Thanks Debi for the great podcast interview and your inspiring article and book. And thanks for positively impacting our mojo!

Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast with DEBI SILBER, 'the Mojo Coach'

Stress, work, life, hormones, finances, health, weight, relationships ... so many elements affect our 'mojo.' Thankfully we have our girlfriends to help us adjust it and bring up our mojo when we can't do that on our own.

DEBI SILBER, MS, RD, WHC is a Registered Dietitian with a Master's degree in Nutrition Science. She's a certified personal trainer, whole health coach, lifestyle expert JUST FOR MOMS and busy mom of four children. Debi has been working exclusively with moms for nearly 20 years, inspiring them to achieve greater health, fitness, wellness and happiness through her Lifestyle Fitness Program. (Check out her new book, The Lifestyle Fitness Program: A Six Part Plan So Every Mom Can Look, Feel and Live Her Best!) She's known as "The Total Mojo Coach" because it's her mission, passion and greatest thrill to inspire unfit, overweight and overwhelmed moms to get their mojo back!

In our podcast with Debi, I had to access my mojo and what areas of my life aren't in sync with my goals and supporting the life I want to live. Listen to Debi's podcast to track your mojo and hear these 'lessons from a girlfriend:'

* LIVE YOUR BEST WHOLE LIFE - Debi takes a holistic approach to life - physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, fitness and stress control. Debi gives a great example about six holes in a bucket and how each one needs to be filled. She helps women look at all the areas of our lives that need to be in balance for a healthy, happy life.

* REALISTIC & DO-ABLE - As a mother of four kids (and four dogs) and a Whole Health Coach, Debi understands my and your situation. No more "you just don't understand" excuses - Debi understands. In the 20 years that she's worked with busy moms, Debi knows the challenges and struggles but, fortunately for us, she has 'do-able' solutions for every lifestyle and situation.

* GIRLFRIENDS LEARN FROM EACH OTHER - Debi has learned from the moms she has worked with, as they have learned from her. This podcast hopefully introduces some ideas to positively impact your mojo. (It did mine!) I'm just thankful for inspiring girlfriends like Debi who are there helping us "become the woman we always hoped we would be." (As Debi shared in our podcast.)

Actually, I could go on and on about lessons learned from Debi but I think you'll learn your own lessons from Debi's site, her unique charity and Debi's book.

Thanks Debi for the great podcast interview and for inspiring us to take charge of our mojo (and sharing the tools to do that!). I love how you inspire women to change their lifestyle to look, feel and live their best!

Body Image - How can we be better friends to ourselves? Other women and girls?

Do you remember when you were a teen? Did you have issues with being seen in a bathing suit? I did, so when I read the following blog on Busy Mom's Blog, I thought it would be a great blog to share on Girlfriendology. (And am including it with author Esa's approval.)*

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With Memorial Day coming up, J and I invited some close friends and their kids (who are also H's close friends) to come over to the house to swim and grill out. We've had a pool for about 6 years, and have great memories of the kids having a blast in the water while the parents get together at the same time. This year, the mom of one of H's best friends said her daughter doesn't want to swim. When I asked why, she said it was because she doesn't want to wear a bathing suit in public. That breaks my heart.

I remember eighth grade as being probably the most awkward year for me, appearance wise, and I can see that in H's friends as well. Not that they look bad, it's just the year that their bodies change drastically from the beginning of the year to the end of the year. Their skin goes crazy, their bodies grow like never before, and clothes don't fit the same way that they have for most of their lives. H had difficulty with the size NUMBER, when she outgrew some of her jeans and we went shopping for new ones. This is a scary time for me, as a mom. I want to teach H how to eat right, exercise, and stay healthy, but I want to avoid things like this short video...

anorectic by Magnacki

Despite fears of diminishing influence over their children's lives, research shows that parents continue to be essential role models, in both positive and negative ways. A 1991 Yale study, published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, found that women who began dieting at early ages were more likely to have daughters who would engage in binging or have problems with eating. These mothers were also more likely than other women to agree, when asked, that their daughters should lose weight.

"It's my impression that parents are not sending negative messages deliberately. They're doing it unconsciously," says Debra Franko, PhD, director of the Harvard Eating Disorders Unit at Harvard Medical School. "A mother might say, 'Oh, these pants used to fit last winter and now they're too tight.' The mother doesn't have a sense that she's saying anything wrong, but that statement, in combination with all the other messages a child is getting, might leave an impression that how you look means a great deal."

"I wouldn't tell a child that appearance doesn't matter, because in our society it does," says Rebecca Manley, director of the Massachusetts Eating Disorders Association. "But it's about looking at what (qualities or attributes) you do have, and focusing on those things."

So, what are we supposed to say as parents, when our daughters try to wear the jeans that "used to fit" and now are too tight? What do we say when they say they want to "firm up" a little for the swimsuit season? Should we give them advice on making good food choices, or portion sizes, or should we try to change the subject, and say they're fine as they are, go ahead and eat that jumbo sized muffin at Panera?

I know there is a a happy medium in there somewhere. I have been super-cautious as H grows up not to let her see ME obsess about weight, or exercise, although I'm sure she sees it subliminally. I've tried not to tell her that any food is BAD, but to balance out nutritious food with the sugary, fatty stuff that bombards them every day.

I read countless articles that say to teach our girls to "celebrate their bodies individual strengths and vitalities, regardless of dress size", and that "numbers on a scale or jean size or breadth of their hips must not determine their self-esteem". That's all well and good, but when every TV show, magazine article, and teen movie shows girls who look like Barbie dolls, those ideals just kind of seem like empty words.

I hope H's friend changes her mind and swims on Memorial Day. I want to see her beautiful smile, laughing with her friends and enjoying an afternoon of fun.
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* What does this have to do with 'girlfriends?'

LOTS. Girlfriends, at every age in our life, impact our self esteem, body image, vocabulary, ambitions ... so much of whom we are. When we are young, like these teenage girls going to the pool, we can accept ourselves and our friends, or we made poor decisions and comparisons. Unfortunately this doesn't end in our youth, we carry our opinions and attitudes with us to our friends as we grow and even pass it along to our girlfriends and daughters.

Past podcasts with ROSIE MOLINARY (author of Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image and Growing up Latina), emotional eating expert, ELLEN SHUMAN and as our latest podcast guest, DEBI SILBER, all gave expert, knowledgeable, educated confirmation on the role that girlfriends have in our self acceptance and body image.

Be a girlfriend to your girlfriends, your daughters, yourself. Love yourself, love others. Don't judge or stand by when others do. I don't want to sound preachy. I just want to learn from others and be more accepting of myself and others. I want to go back and be the chubby girl in the bathing suit my mother made that had enough fabric to cover up me and a few others - but this time to be okay with who I was and who I became. I want to be a better girlfriend to my friends and to myself.

Thanks Esa for sharing and inspiring. And thanks to my girlfriends for accepting me as I am and for showing me that you love me, just as I am.

NEW PODCASTS - Carrie Runnals and Marybeth Bond

I'm on the road right now (lovely storms over Milwaukee today, I was in a Beading show locked in the convention center!) and unfortunately the audio files for the newest podcast didn't travel quite so well. So, come back on Wed. evening when I'm sure we'll be back in business for the inspiring video with DEBI SILBER, the Mojo Coach. Get your Mojo Meter rising!

But, neverfear! We have posted two new and improved versions of previous podcasts. (The audio/intro were improved so it is much better listening - listen in to hear for yourself!) So, if you haven't heard them or if it has been a little while, come get some inspiring from these amazing girlfriend authors and experts:

* CARRIE RUNNALS - Founder of Words To Mouth, a website with book reviews and behind the scenes chats with great authors. Carrie is also one of the Diva Cast, a podcast with five, fun, fabulous, forty-something friends who share their lives and laughs with thousands of online girlfriends!

* MARYBETH BOND - Author of The Gusty Traveler and several other women's travel books talked with us on the growth of women's travel and fun ideas for girlfriend get-aways.

Listen in! And come back next week for Debi and her wellness plan that can make your life, health and mojo better!

June PRIZES - Lots! Like the May Girlfriendology Contest Prizes!

* CONTEST: Share a girlfriend story via email, leaving a message at 206-202-9005 (be sure to spell out your email address!) or on the Girlfriendology Contest Form.

* PRIZES: We have over 30 books to award for prizes in June, in addition to the five $10 Starbucks giftcards (to take you and your girlfriend out for coffee on Girlfriendology) and the Girlfriendology Journal. Winners will be established by a drawing of all contest responses. And, drumroll please! The PRIZES are:

* Twenty Wishes - a wonderful, inspiring book by mega author DEBBIE MACOMBER. (I just read it and it was the reason the last newsletter took so long to get out to you - I had to finish the book first!)
* Comfort Food - a new novel by KATE JACOBS (author of The Friday Night Knitting Club) and a lovely story of a cooking channel chef and her adventures with food, family and friends.
* Trust Me - the new romantic thrilled by BRENDA NOVAK. First in 'The Last Stand' trilogy , follow these female friends though crimes, investigations and, of course, some romance.
* JumpStart the Art: The Art of Losing It - audio book by J.J. VIRGIN. Inspiration on The Art of Losing It! Mastering Weight Loss in an Expanding World.
* BBQ Cookbooks - A BIG and little (perfect size for a gift!) book so of Barbecue by the BBQ Queens themselves, KAREN ADLER and JUDITH FRETIG.
* BuzZen - The Law of Attraction meets Girls Night Out! Written by JODY ENGLAND, this book will bring your and your girlfriends, and you and your dreams, closer!

All these amazing authors have graciously given their time recently for podcast interviews! Listen in for wonderful women inspiration! Thanks Kate, Debbie, Brenda and upcoming interviews with J.J., Jody and Karen!

So, send in your girlfriend story NOW for one of our over-a-prize-a-day prizes!

Girlfriends ... Pursue Thy Dreams!

Just a little Friday bumper sticker wisdom. As girlfriends we are here to support each other in pursuing our dreams. What do your girlfriends dream of doing and how can you cheer them on? Have you called lately to check in on a friend and her wishes? (Like the wishes in the Twenty Wishes book in our June Girlfriendology Contest and recent podcast with author Debbie Macomber!)

What have you done lately to go after your dreams? Shared your goals with a girlfriend?

Forsake your inhibitions and pursue your dreams! And, encourage, support and celebrate your girlfriend's going after their dreams as well. Reaching for your dreams together can change your whole life! Dream BIG girlfriends!

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p.s. And don't forget to check out my designer superstar girlfriend JILL MACKAY and her wonderful jewelry! And listen in to the podcast where Jill interviewed me and I turned it around and did a little interviewing as well!

Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast with BRENDA NOVAK, award-winning author

In my book, there's a different level of respect that you give a mother of five children! There also is a heightened sense of honor for an award-winning novelist who continues to produce well-written, engaging books. But what got to me was how BRENDA NOVAK combined these aspects of her life with an above-and-beyond call of action to do something about a disease that impacts her young son and so many children - Juvenile Diabetes.

Let's start with her new book. Trust Me. It is first in a trilogy (that Brenda admits will exceed three - which I'm sure will please her loyal fans!) about 'The Last Stand' - a group of girlfriends who meet at a victim support group and later add their own mix to each of her following romantic thrillers. The follow-up books in the series (Watch Me and Stop Me) are coming out later this month! Check out her site to read the first chapter of Trust Me.

So what did I learn from Brenda Novak that really inspired me?

* FAMILY FIRST - Brenda began writing because of her need to be home with her children. She makes time for them even when cranking out novels and doing the rounds of publicity and public speaking. Again, in my book, any mother of five that does all that she does, deserves some kind of prize!

* YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE - When Brenda's son was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes, she didn't just decide to let an insulin treatment change their routine. She decided to use the power of the pen (and the fans that has brought her) to do something. Brenda started a foundation and raises hundreds of thousands of dollars each year for research to cure Juvenile Diabetes.

* THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR - Not only is that the name of her new June Contest, it also is a key part of her life and her recent 'The Last Stand' novels. The books revolve around a small girlfriend group with interesting skill sets and connections. Also, Brenda credits her writer girlfriends for their support in her Juvenile Diabetes fund raising as well as being her friends and understanding her wild writer lifestyle.

I know you'll enjoy listening to the podcast with, and reading books by, Brenda Novak. And, if you'd like to win a free copy of her new book Trust Me, send in a girlfriend story in the June Girlfriendology Contest. You'll enjoy the romance and the thrills!

Thanks Brenda for making time for Girlfriendology and for sharing your books with us! Also, thanks for all you're doing to eliminate Juvenile Diabetes. The world is a better place because of people like you!

TIP TUESDAY #26 - Hey Girlfriend! Can you believe gas is $4/gal?!

It still seems surreal to pay $50 to fill up my little Honda gas tank! Wow, we need some advice on this one!

So, this week's TIP TUESDAY question is:

What gas-savings tips do you have?

Recently I gently 'encouraged' my husband to drive a little more gas friendly. I've been trying to do it since the prices started going up. Things like coasting to a stop and not going from the gas to the break in one motion! I'm trying to drive sometimes slower, coast up to a red light and just try to avoid rapid, unnecessary acceleration. I also am combining trips and desperately want a scooter! (Just think - saving gas AND looking cute at the same time!)

What are you doing in response to the HIGH gas prices? Thanks girlfriends for sharing!

VOTE for May Girlfriendology Contest Winners!

The May Girlfriendology Contest gave away more prizes than ever before - so we had more entries than ever before - which made it very difficult to decide. Which ones should be the top five to win the Starbucks giftcard (to take them and their girlfriend out for coffee on Girlfriendology) and the top overall winner for the Girlfriendology Journal?!

So, we're going to let YOU decide! Remember, the guidelines are a great girlfriend story (that inspires, appreciates or celebrates girlfriends!). Please add a comment with your vote or send your selection in to ideas (at) girlfriendology (dot)com. (The non-spam version of our email!) Voting ends on June 10th at midnight, EST. Please only vote once per day. Any ties will be selected by a drawing. AND, don't forget to participate in the June Girlfriendology Contest. LOTS of PRIZES!!!

1. A couple of years ago, a very wonderful friend of mine made me my favorite Strawberry cake that my mother use to make for my birthdays. She died eight years ago and the Strawberry cake came to an end...until my friend heard the story, and decided to surprise me with my mother's cake recipe...and what a great surprise it was !!

2. My girlfriend and I go way back to 1960. We met on a train going to Los Angeles to join our husbands. We worked together for 15 years. We had our children a girl and a boy for both. Now we are widows and still good friends.

3. I was having a difficult time reading for my literature class because I found the writing very boring. When I told Becky that I thought I would like the stories better if I could hear them on tape, Becky offered to come to my house and read to me. "Whatever it takes to help you through this class," she said.

4. I have an e-friend who I talk to a lot. We met through common interests and the friendship has grown. We tend to get worried if we don't hear from each other fairly often so she got worried about me last year when I was in a accident. We finally got in touch with each other and had a long phone chat. I've never met her face to face but we laugh and cry with each other and pray for each other.

5. I'm a member of an awesome book club. We've been together about 4-1/2 years. There are seven members of our group. At the time we started our club a few of us were casual acquaintances and a few didn't know each other at all. We have since bonded into a very loving, supportive group of women from all walks of life, ranging in age from 40 to 60! So we laughingly refer to this year being our hundredth birthday celebration. Occasionally we remember to discuss books at our meetings, but often we find ourselves talking about life, laughing, crying, and basically enjoying the brief respite from the stresses of our daily lives and losing ourselves in the joy of being with people with whom we can be honest and free spirited around.

Birthdays can be tough, especially when you're having a bad year, as I was the first year we were together. All the girls gathered around and we headed to a nearby city and had 'the works' at the local spa School. Manicures, pedicures and facials for all, followed by lunch at a great restaurant. It was like being held in this cocoon of warmth and loving strength like nothing I'd ever experienced before. To this day they probably don't realize what that day meant to me. It was like they just collectively knew what would make it a great day.

Great friends are a blessing at any age, but to find this group of women out of the blue like we all did was a gift beyond reasoning.

6. My best friend is a caring individual for all. She never is too busy to hear my problems. She does not judge me, and tries to comfort me when I am down. We enjoy exercising, lunching and shopping together. She is such a joy to be around.

7. My girlfriend Pat and I have been best friends for over 10 years. We know that nothing is more sacred than a best friend. We both know that any secrets, hopes or fears we share with each other will never go any further than the two of us. We see each other through tragedy and celebrate each other's victory. We are friends forever as when you find a friend you can trust with your heart you have found something to treasure and never betray

8. My girlfriend Charlotte and I have been friends since sophomore year of high school. We are now 55. She is a breast cancer survivor. We are signing up again this year for the Komen Race for the Cure. Even though we live about 6 hours apart we keep in touch. We have seen each other through many happy times and not happy times. I don't know what I would do without her.

9. My girlfriend took me out for my birthday last year. We had such a good time! I was really mad at my husband because he let her plan a party for me, instead of doing it himself. By the end of the night, I had forgiven him, because she did a much better job than he ever could have

10. Two years ago seven of my eight best friends from high school and I got together for the first time in 39 years. We had seen very little of each other through the years, but we made up for lost time by spending four glorious "girls only" days at the beach together. We talked, laughed, ate, talked and laugh some more, and even "danced in the streets" to a live band. We've stayed in touch and gotten together ever since. Next year we will all turn 60 and we plan to have a HUGE birthday celebration for ourselves. We are planning on another trip together...destination yet unknown, but you can be assured it will be something FABULOUS. And I can also assure you that even though our 60-year-old bodies may feel a few aches and pains, we can still "PARTY likes it's 1989"...or in our case 1967!

11. My sisters are also my girlfriends! When my oldest sister turned 60 she was living in California. Her family had a surprise party for her, part of the surprise was that our other two sisters, our mother, a brother, and myself, all flew to California to celebrate with her! I even carried a dozen of her favorite donuts across country for her! The following year I over-nighted 1-1/2 dozen of those donuts to her with a note saying since I could not be there with her, for her birthday I just sent the donuts!

My third sister passed away last year of cancer. We miss her so very much, but I think it has brought the three of us even closer! It is so important to spend time with your girlfriends--- whether they are sisters, aunts, cousins, nieces!! Cherish the time together!

12. The best thing a friend did for me on my birthday was when my oldest was little. I was so discouraged and lived away from family. I was expecting to spend my birthday alone. My husband told me were going shopping. When we got there, he said he had to stop by Margarita's, my best friend at the time, for a few moments. He went inside like he had to get something and then they came outside and said surprise. She had fixed fried chicken and special food for my birthday including a birthday cake. It was the best gift I could have gotten. Margarita is a person who does not like to write letters and has written me many letters she said are in her cabinet. Yet she will take a card, sign it and put it in the mail to me to just let me know she is thinking of me. She surprised me once by calling early in the morning. She is still a very, very special friend.

13. My best friend created a "Remember US" journal/photo book. She entered several of the funniest or embarrassing things we did or said. She included pictures with some of the journal entries. It's a treasure I will keep and add to forever.

14. My best friend and I had a misunderstanding three years ago. We work together, so needless to say it was uncomfortable. At last years Christmas party we were both tipsy...and she approached me with a question, and next thing we knew, we were hugging and catching up! I missed her, she missed me, but pride got in the way. Thank God for martinis!

15. My girlfriend is a source of continuous support. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and she understands that some days can get pretty rough for me. When she calls and realizes I'm having a bad day she immediately suggests a simple excursion that might help get my cluttered mind to focus on calmer things. It doesn't always work, but what makes her efforts worth trying is the fact that she cares enough to help make a long-time friend's tears turn into smiles.

16. Can a sister be a girlfriend??? Hmmmm, tough one especially when you're talking about mine - through the years it's been up & down (much more on the up now that we are old and wise - LOL) and coming from a pretty non-demonstrative family it's still air kisses from 2 feet. One memorable year Lise outdid herself (in a great way). I was turning 25, living in Washington, DC and she was in an apartment the size of a closet (albeit in a mansion cut up into flats) in Chicago. A package arrived full of the most wonderful, crazy items - all 25 of them. There is nothing better than opening millions of presents, all of which mean something be it silly, serious or a long standing private joke. There is a wonderful picture of me in a very strange cowboy hat with a huge grin on my face surrounded by "stuff". BLISS!!

I'm sure I don't have any of those items now but isn't it funny that this is the first memory that popped up when I saw this month's contest. This time my sister really was a girlfriend!!

17. I met my best friend in the 7th grade. Even when she moved across country, we remained best friends. Later when I married, I named my first child after my best friend. Now we are 43 year's old and still best friends. We may live in separate states, but we keep in touch.

Again, please leave a comment with your vote. Only one vote per person per day. Voting ends at midnight EST on June 10th. Winners will be announced on a Girlfriendology podcast on June 15th. And, enter the June Girlfriendology Contest!!!!

Lessons from a Girlfriend - THE GIRLFRIEND FACTOR Founder Joan Busick

Our role as a girlfriend isn't to just go see "Sex and the City" together. It is to have a real friendship which means helping each other through tough stuff and celebrating successes TOGETHER.

JOAN BUSICK, along with her girlfriend Michele Moore, decided to create a non-profit based on helping real women go after their dreams. THE GIRLFRIEND FACTOR was born in 2005 and now has dozens of women in college/training for new careers and reaching their goals!

Listen to the podcast for the details. Check out The Girlfriend Factor for ways you can get involved - like a "Go Girl! Camp," online shopping, starting a chapter in your city, etc.

As founder of The Girlfriend Factor, Joan emotes inspiration! Here are a few lessons I learned from this wonderful girlfriend:

* TAKE CHARGE - Joan runs her own CPA firm. It would have been much easier just to write a check to another organization and not bothered with starting a non-profit. Not Joan. She and girlfriend Michele decided they wanted to make a difference in women's lives and to do something about it. That inspires me!

* FRIENDSHIP IS IMPORTANT - The Girlfriend Factor doesn't just write a check then walk away. They stay involved. They befriend the grant recipients and cheer them on through school, interviews, challenges and successes. They become their girlfriends and get to know them on a very personal, supportive level. That inspires me too!

* THEY HAVE FUN! - The Girlfriend Factor believes that helping others doesn't have to involve a boring fundraiser dinner with a long-winded speaker. (We've all been at too many of those!) Funds are raised by hosting fun events like a pajama shopping night and 'Go Girl! Camps.' And, through the course of their events, they become better friends with the other women who are supportive of The Girlfriend Factor. They know how to have fun and make a difference in women's lives - at the same time!

* GET YOUR FRIENDS INVOLVED - To get The Girlfriend Factor started, Joan and Michele decided to enlist their girlfriends. They asked them to consider supporting The Girlfriend Factor. Of course, being girlfriends, they wanted to help and became part of the "Blind Faith Gang." Per Joan and Michele: "Without knowledge or understanding of our dream, they chose to be part of something bigger than themselves. For their generosity and faith, we will forever hold them as the foundation that created The Girlfriend Factor."

Do you want to befriend other women who need just a 'foot up' in making a change in their life? Can you be the kind of girlfriend that you'd love to have? Don't just watch a movie together or have dinner - make a difference! Check out The Girlfriend Factor and listen in to this inspiring interview with Joan. Thanks Joan! Thanks Girlfriends!

DREAM ... and encourage your girlfriends to dream too

The wisdom found on bumper stickers! Seen on my dog walk this morning (a wonderful John Lennon quote), it was perfectly timed for my day. I'm working on the Girlfriendology newsletter and lining up 'expert girlfriends' for the website, as well as finding amazing women to interview in the Girlfriendology podcasts. I may be a Dreamer, but I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Dream today. And encourage your girlfriends to dream as well. Together we'll love the journey toward our dreams as friends cheering each other on! Happy Friday Girlfriend!



p.s. NEW Girlfriendology Podcast posted last night. Interview with JILL MACKAY (and me!) www.girlfriendology.com

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Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast interview with JILL MACKAY (and me!)

Often you can spot them across the room. Unaware of anyone nearby. They chatter, laugh and sometimes even cry. Their eye contact and body language convey that they are completely comfortable and are being their authentic self. They're not trying to impress anyone or really concerned with what others around them think. They're spending time together, making memories, making plans, solving problems, sharing life. They are girlfriends.

My girlfriend JILL MACKAY (fab jewelry designer, author and creative entrepreneur) decided that it was time YOU found out who I am. She decided that someone should interview me for a Girlfriendology podcast so that blog readers (or "bleaders"!) could find out why I started Girlfriendology and why I think promoting female friendship warrants leaving my job and dedicating my life! (I know she isn't the only one who wonders what is up with me and my dream of building an online women's community based on friendship!)

And, yes, I did get the turn the tables on her too. Hopefully you'll hear something that will inspire you to spend time with your girlfriends, and after hearing Jill and me, something that will amuse you and make you laugh. So here's my Lessons from a Girlfriend:

* FOLLOW YOUR PASSION - To be honest, almost every one of our Girlfriendology podcast guests is an amazing example of following your passion. From authors to podcasters, entrepreneurs to artists, each inspiring woman we've talked with had a new perspective on following their passion. Jill and I definitely follow suit. I'm passionate about making Girlfriendology an online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of girlfriends. Jill is committed to creating amazing (and I do mean AMAZING!) jewelry designs. She fabulously talented!

* LAUGH AND CRY TOGETHER - Last year walking back from a tradeshow together, we laughed so hard that we could barely keep from peeing! (Sorry, but it was totally true!) Within the short course of a day, we were crying together over very emotional times in our lives. Both of these are wonderful things. If I have to cry, I can't think of anyone better than a dear girlfriend to be there with me (and possibly join me). And, laughing is just the best with a girlfriend - no fake laughter, just complete joy and giggles. Happy or sad, just serve mine up with a girlfriend by my side!

* BE HONEST, BE REAL, BE YOU - I asked Jill to critique something for me recently. I wanted, and most of all NEEDED, the truth. I knew I could get that from her. I also knew she would deliver the message in a kind, caring manner so my feelings wouldn't be hurt and my insecurities could handle it - but most of all, I needed her to be REAL. We all need friends like that - those we can count on to tell us if there is spinach in our teeth or gunk on our nose, to make sure we never go out in public with our size tag proudly displayed behind us or with navy tights and a black skirt on. (I needed Jill in my office the day I did that!) Be the friend that you want, need, admire. Be real. Be you. Be a girlfriend.

And, if you're going to the BEAD & BUTTON show in Milwaukee soon, stop by booth #1010. We'll post some audio messages and get some input from women at the show on their girlfriends and fun times together. Jill will be there and I'll join her on Saturday and Sunday. I guarantee you'll laugh and see some spectacular jewelry that Jill has designed. She is a 'superstar' to me. I don't care what she says! (-; Thanks Jill! You ARE my superstar friend!

So, if you see those women across the room who are ignoring everyone and just enjoying each other's company and conversation, don't be jealous. Smile for them. Then grab a girlfriend and have your own discussion. Girlfriends - life's better together!

Girlfriends helping Girlfriends (and kids) - BEFORE JUNE 1!

I just had the opportunity to interview award-winning, best-selling author BRENDA NOVAK for an upcoming Girlfriendology podcast (to hear our interview, check back next Thursday evening). Brenda's newest book, "Trust Me," is a wonderful romantic thriller about a group of women who work together to resolve injustice and solve crimes. Brenda not only has a passion for writing, she also has a deep desire to make a difference.

QUICK! Until midnight on May 31 (just one or two more days!), you can participate in Brenda's online auction for Juvenile Diabetes. All proceeds go toward research for Juvenile Diabetes and the prizes warrant your attention! Visit the online auction for opportunities to bid on one of a kind experiences (trips, meals with celebrities - like lunch with Debbie Macomber, featured in a recent Girlfriendology podcast) and wonderful items (like trips, jewelry, purses) to amazing opportunities like book critiques by famous editors/authors - literally, there are hundreds of fabulous prizes!

DON'T DELAY! Act now for these fabulous prizes that go to a great cause!

And, while you're in the 'spending for a great cause' mood, visit Beaded Hope. Jennifer Davis of Beaded Hope did a video interview with us recently and gave a 15% discount for any purchase from BeadedHope.com until June 1! Just enter "GOGIRL" in the promotional code and you'll receive 15% off - and you'll employ women in South Africa as well as help with food and medical supplies - and you get some great beaded jewelry/accessories. (Talk about a win-win-win situation!)

You know how it is. You find out a girlfriend has a passion for a great cause and you just have to be there for her to help her out. Here is our opportunity to help out wonderful organizations and to do so in honor of these inspiring women (Brenda and Jennifer, in this case) who believe in making a difference in the world! Thanks Girlfriends!

TIP TUESDAY #25 - Gardening Girlfriends - we need advice!

Summer arrived right on time. Memorial Day snuck in a little early this year but Spring got the memo and left just in time for white shoes and colorful gardens (but not together!).

With the new season comes the obvious need for gardens filled with vibrant flowers and appropriately placed greenery. To someone like me, this is all overwhelming. I unfortunately can only identify a couple plants - hostas, iris (who are beautiful but have taken over my mini garden between the neighbor's driveway and mind) and ivy. That leaves a couple hundred million plants that I could have purchased last summer and this year pull it from the ground thinking it is a week. Aargh! I need help! (And, having seen a few other gardens with a fine batch of 'stuff' growing in it, I don't think I'm alone.)

So, this week's TIP TUESDAY question is for all you gardening girlfriends:

What gardening tips do you have? How can we have a nice yard and garden without too much time and frustration?

Last year I bought a few perennials and the women in front of me complimented my flowers. I admitted that they would probably last a season and that I would pull them the following year, thinking they were a weed. They told me their trick was to put a rock by each perennial. It would stay there over the winter and be a great reminder of the plant that should be there.

So, PLEASE what are your tips? Do you pull weeds then treat the ground before adding mulch? DO you have any secrets for a window box that blooms all summer? Help beautify our neighborhoods by sharing your gardening secrets with your girlfriends. (And, we know we can trust our girlfriends!)

Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast with DEBBIE MACOMBER, women's fiction author

DEBBIE MACOMBER is a mega-author. She has over 100 million books in print. Her new book, Twenty Wishes, is a wonderful, inspiring story of women who each make a list of their wishes and then together find the way to their dreams.

As welcoming and friendly as her books, Debbie spoke with Girlfriendology on our latest podcast. There is so much to learn from someone this gifted at understanding women, friendships, passionate hobbies and life. So, here are just a few of the lessons I learned in interviewing Debbie:

* LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH PASSION - Debbie is passionate about her knitting, writing, children and grandchildren (not necessarily in that order!). She loves to travel and spend time with her family and friends. She gets up at 4am each morning to start her day preparing and reading, then writing. (You have to be passionate about something to get up at that time each morning!) You can tell by talking with her that she loves life and loves sharing the lives of her characters with her millions of fans.

* LOVE YOUR FANS - Debbie is currently on tour to 20 cities (for the 20 wishes!). Her fans come out in swarms, in any weather and with a desire just to see her, talk with her, share their knitting or tell her about their girlfriends. She even shared how the initial idea for this book came from one of her fans. She obviously loves these women and finds such joy in getting to know them, hearing about their lives and sharing her hobbies and writings with them.

* MAKE TIME FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS - As she shared in the interview, Debbie has a group of girlfriends that she meets with weekly for breakfast. They help each other through life, share their joys and frustrations, and, after talking with Debbie, they must laugh a lot! Even with her busy schedule, she keeps them as a priority in her life. She's a good girlfriend!

* TAKE TIME FOR YOUR HOBBIES - It doesn't have to be knitting, but just find an activity that you love and allow yourself time to spend doing it. And, when you can, combine your hobbies! Debbie obviously loves to write and knit. So it was natural for her to combine them with a companion book to Twenty Wishes with knitting patterns from the book's characters. She even has designed a line of products for knitters (but versatile enough to be used for lots of other hobbies and 'stuff!).

So, what are your wishes? Dreams? Goals? Do you have them written down or perhaps represented on a vision board? Do your girlfriends know what your dreams are and do they cheer you on in reaching them?

Read Twenty Wishes then write out your own wishes. Share them with your friends. They'll help you achieve them! Visit Set Your Wish Free for information on a special contest to reward someone with $10,000 to set their wish free!

Thanks Debbie for making time for Girlfriendology in the midst of your national book tour! It was an honor to speak with you and to be able to share Twenty Wishes with your fans through the podcast and through our Girlfriendology Contest prizes. Thanks for your inspiration and for introducing us to so many girlfriends in your novels.

P.S. And send in your story for our monthly Girlfriendology Contest! You could win a copy of Debbie's fabulous new novel, Twenty Wishes - just send in a girlfriend story and you could get back a great girlfriend novel!

Girlfriendology video interview with PAULA YOO, author of "Good Enough"

At first I thought, a 'young adult' novel. I don't need to read that. Then I opened it up and became enthralled with Patti Yoon, the high schooler, daughter of immigrants and overachiever who longs to fit in and strives to stand out.

The first novel by PAULA YOO, "Good Enough" is a charmer. From her first big crush to the funny antics of her church group, she becomes a fun character to watch over as she survives high school and the pressure to attend an ivy league school.

Paula's pretty much a charmer too. She has a great smile and plays amazing violin. She is friendly and easy going. You can tell in the video interview, that she enjoyed writing about Patti and that you'll equally enjoy reading "Good Enough." Watch the Girlfriendology interview with Paula:



THANKS Paula - for your time, for playing the violin over and over again in the Joseph-Beth store (Thanks to them too!). Thanks to Greg & Greg of www.callgregcreative.com. And, THANKS to you for reading Girlfriendology!

Lessons from a Girlfriend - Podcast with CAROL DUVALL, the 'queen of crafts'!

Just her voice and laughter makes me miss her. And, from reading several of the message boards on HGTV, DIY and several blogs, a lot of you miss her too.

If you're at all crafty or have kids who enjoy making things, you've heard her voice and laughter. And, you've no doubt been inspired by this amazing woman. CAROL DUVALL has been on television for 57 years (and her re-runs will hopefully continue for many years!). In our recent podcast interview Carol shared how she got started and how her career proceeded to find her as THE craft show on television, "The Carol Duvall Show."

I had the honor of being on her show a dozen times (and taping with her on the Shop At Home network) so I am especially fond of her voice and laughter - it not only reminds me of her show but also of some of the best memories of my life, taping this show with wonderful, welcoming crew and guests.

With 57 years of experiences, you would expect to learn a few things from this smart, fun, kind and creative woman. Here's a few LESSONS FROM A GIRLFRIEND, from our conversation with Carol Duvall:

* BE NICE - Carol is genuinely a nice person. She always made her guests feel welcomed and comfortable even when we were newbies and might mess up and have to retape. In the podcast, she shared how her father told her to always be nice to everyone you work with - and she did. Listen to her tell how she got her first network gig, on "The Home Show."

* SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GIRLFRIENDS - Kelly, Cherryl, Cam, Linda ... and so many other great women were on Carol's production crew. Each of them worked hard and were dedicated to their girlfriend, Carol. I love how Carol enjoyed these women as much as they loved working with her. She still gets together with her friends from the show like Donna Kato, Mary O'Neil and Karen Thomas. She also wrote her latest book, Paper Crafting with Carol Duvall, with her former producer and dear friend, Cherryl Greene. She gets the need for and blessing of girlfriends!

* HAVE FUN ALONG THE WAY - As Carol shares in the podcast, she would tape multiple shows in one day. This involved a lot of preparation and planning by her staff. At the end of often very long days, there often was time for fun. And who better to have fun with than girlfriends?! Carol and her crew and guests would sometimes go to dinner after a full day of taping. I was with her and several from the crew one night in Nashville when we were taping at Shop At Home. You know the beautiful women who host shopping network shows? They were with us (including Kim from Oprah's recent "Big Give" show!) - all of them could be covergirl models. But it wasn't the beautiful blonds that drew the attention of one man at the bar. He sent a drink over to Carol. He didn't know her from TV at all. He just thought she was beautiful and special. And she will forever be.

Carol, thank you so much for taking time to talk with me on the Girlfriendology podcast but most of all, my personal and heart-felt thanks for the treasured memories I have of being on your show and working with you and your great crew. Thanks for the creative inspiration that you've been for millions of us who find so much happiness, stress release and fulfillment from our crafty creations that we learned from you and your show. Thanks for your book, for your perseverance in the wild world of television and, most of all, thank you for your laughter. What a wonderful legacy you've lived - 57 years on television, countless craft segments and projects, and a world of creative inspiration. We're all so blessed to have you as our creative girlfriend!

COMMENTS FROM A FAN:

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Girlfriend SANDRA YANCEY shares inpiration at eWomen Network lunch

Even in a blurry photo, SANDRA YANCEY looks pretty! And she is (just not so fuzzy!) in real life but that beauty mainly comes from the inside. She created the eWomen Network - "This is the #1 resource for connecting and promoting women and their businesses on both a local and global scale." Sandra has grown this organization from a dream to an international, multi-million dollar company. As she says, she believes a smile is the key to so many connections. Check out the eWomen Network for their upcoming conference (the largest gathering of businesswomen in North America!).

Sandra gave a speech on 'the power of girlfriends' and shared inspiring stories of how she "jumped then grew wings." Thanks Sandra! Inspiration. That's what girlfriends give!



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