Allison Update - on a glorious summer-fall day

Everyone should be in Cincinnati today. You'd love it here! We finally had some rain this week after months (literally) of no rain. The summer's draught left brown grass, distressed trees and a very poor excuse for a flower garden. Gladly, as the seasons change, those memories fade and all that matters is a perfect cool but sunny day like today.

Allison is enjoying the beauty from her hospital room. She's doing well for all you who have been worrying and praying. Colleen (another walking girlfriend) and I visited her in ICU last night. She looked good, especially for having been through a complete body overhaul. Lee, her husband, said they even got her up to walk last night after we left which is great. She hopes to be moved to a regular room tonight.

So, she's healing. That takes time but it has started and she moves into the next phase of her life. She's not only a 'jock' but also a fighter, so we have plans to keep walking for years and years to come. (And sharing occasional glasses of wine together.)

Enjoy the beauty around you - friends, seasons, trees, home, pets, life. Thanks friends for sharing this amazing day with me.

A Toast to Allison

Today, 13 hours later, I drove away from University Hospital. Not sure what else to to, I stopped at a convenience store and bought some chardonnay. (Wouldn't you?) My girlfriend Allison had surgery today. 12-hour surgery. Scary surgery. Cancer surgery. The kind of day that makes takes you up and pulls you down, that roams from boredom to fear, that makes you question life and just thankful for your girlfriends.

In 2000, we met at a dinner party and she mentioned she was walking a marathon. I was up for that challenge so I called her, signed up for it and we started walking together - for seven years, almost every Saturday except for travel, rain or stupid-cold days. On a normal Saturday we walk five to seven miles to that one Sunday when we did 26.2 miles. I figure we're up to about a thousand miles of walking and a thousand miles of talking. Talking about our lives, husbands, pets, friends, dreams, fears. A thousand miles of sharing mainly laughs and a few tears. Over Labor Day we hung out in NC at her mountain house (aka: the MoHo). Allison, and her husband Lee, are wonderful, forever friends.

Allison, like all girlfriends, is unique, as was her surgery. Actually, it is only performed at four locations in the U.S., seven in the world. Scary stuff, but you don't know my girlfriend Allison. She is (as we lovingly call her!) "a jock" - strong, determined and lives life to the fullest. Knowing the surgery was approaching and working around the chemo, she took advantage of every good day this summer. We'd walk six miles, then she would go to spinning class and golf or kayak later in the day. (See? Jock. We are just envious of her energy and spirit!)

Today was tough. It will be for a while, for the weeks to come. But Allison is a fighter and overall, things went pretty well today. Please keep her in your prayers. Keep all of our sisters who fight this evil cancer in your thoughts.

Learn the important lessons. That life is short and we do need each our girlfriends. Hug them. Share secrets. Walk and talk together. Hug or hold hands. Be. Together.

Love you Allison. Love you girlfriends.

p.s. And, knowing Allison, she'd want me to have some chardonnay. (She once asked her doctor if chardonnay was on the 'clear fluids' list!) I look forward to sharing some with her in the hopefully not-too-distant future.

How a Girlfriend's Laughter can lead to Tears.

Friday was a tough day for me. All my girlfriends have either left the company I work at or were out of town. Not to complain, but I just wanted to have lunch with a girlfriend. I needed some laughter and great conversation to cut the day in half.

My friend Holly and I always had the best lunches. No matter how your day was or how you felt, her laughter would light up the entire room and pull you into such a blessed place that you consciously were happy just being near her. After we both moved away from Minnesota, we rarely had the opportunity to have lunch together. Now that she's gone, I won't have that cherished, wonderful opportunity every again.

First, I need to tell you a little about my friend Holly. She loved her family and friends with an overflowing passion. She constantly inspired me and made me feel better about myself. Her friendship was treasured by all who knew her. Unfortunately, she succumbed to cancer last Thanksgiving. In my grief, I was just so honored to be able to be in MN to attend her memorial at her favorite art center (where she and I had taken pottery together).

At the memorial, amidst her works of art (like this shirt that she created with batik - that hangs inside my closet door so I see it, and think of her, everyday), her husband and sons shared the story of her life and professed their love and admiration for her. It was the most heart-breaking ceremony I've ever attended. I wasn't up to sharing - but I wanted to. I wanted to tell funny Holly stories and listen to others' tales of her infectious humor and joy.

After the memorial I emailed her husband. I told him about some of the amusing stories and events that I shared with Holly. I also included a story that Holly told me about buying a very expensive, ornate armoire - without telling David, her husband. Knowing that he might be a bit concerned over her purchase, she resorted to something perfectly Holly! She purchased an expensive silk tie for him. When he came home from work, she greeted him in front of the new furniture with nothing on except the tie and just said, "So ... how do you like the armoire?"

I emailed him that I didn't know if it was a true story or not but I loved that story because it was so Holly. He wrote me back with just a quick answer - "It was a very nice tie!"

Friday, several months after she left us all, I just wanted to have lunch with her. To ask her advice, be part of her laughter, have her smile at me one more time. But, in all my sadness (and I can't even imagine what her family feels), I am so humbled to have had her as my girlfriend.

In my tears, I celebrated a blessed girlfriend. Don't delay in spending time with a girlfriend. Call her for lunch. Take her to dinner. Send her a card or give her a call. Then say a word of thanks for the gift of her friendship. Thanks Holly. I love you and am so blessed to have been your friend.

Looking for the good ... in a not so good time

Beautiful, talented, smart, funny and kind are just a few wonderful descriptions of my friend Dana. College buddies, we've gone through moves, changes and challenges since we graduated. Our friendship has endured and grown - which is such a blessing to me.

It is so tough to see her fight cancer again. I wish I could do anything to help her or even take her mind off things for a while. I so much want to say just the right thing.

A girlfriend of her's recently had the perfect response to her situation. She asked Dana, "I know the bad stuff going on, but what good things are going on in your life?" It relieved Dana from talking about treatment and thinking about her great husband, Bear (another college buddy). It took her mind off the reality of work and trying to keep her energy during a stressful chemo season. It reminded her of the beautiful home, wonderful life and so many loving friends that she has. (I wish I'd said it - but I'm so glad someone did!)

So Dana, thanks for reminding me to remember the good things. And thanks for teaching me to, if needed, help you remember the good things too. (And thanks for being one of the very good things in my life. I love you - you are my sister.)