Conversations with Girlfriends

The mystic influence of friends and friends of friends always humbles me. My friend Joan invited her friends, along with me and some of mine, for a Sunday afternoon visit or a Tuesday evening dinner. Conversations swirl about women, our hopes and dreams, how we support and encourage each other (or not), the future of our city and country, how we can be truer forms of ourselves.

At lunch yesterday, again with Joan and a friend of hers - Vanessa, conversations started first about conversations. Those on the previous Sunday and Tuesday, and, about a wise woman in town who believes that we can change things just by starting conversations. If we get women together and focus our energies and words on positive change and growth, there is no measure of what we can change as we take those conversations into each of our homes, businesses, circle of friends and acquaintances, etc. Conversations among friends, and friends of friends, are very powerful things.

The energy generated by verbal sharing and listening, the momentum started by a single thought shared, the creative influence of hearing another perspective from a respected and passionate person - those things can, and do, change the world.

I'm humbled and honored to be a part of this. There are great things brewing, ideas and friendships forming. We, as women, first have to take a responsibility for where we are and where we're going. After that, we need to have conversations. To hear from women who are just as passionate about improvement and change.

Can you start something where you are? Do you have passionate, positive, purposeful friends? Get them together. Introduce friends to friends of friends. Ask questions. Listen. Start change ... just with a conversation.

(Thanks Joan and friends! You inspire me!)

Back to the 'real world' - but with my girlfriends!

Making it back from Paris in less time than a full day at work is pretty amazing. Actually, it is 'time travel' that invigorates me and gives me time to pause and think about life, places, adventures, God, people, the husband and puppy that await me, etc. The time difference plays tricks with me and my brain bounced around from ideas and dreams, to worries and fears. All in all, international travel is fascinating and surreal - and I love it.

Fortunately for me, I return home to a country of friends, a city of neighbors and a home with a cute, but bigger, puppy. Phone calls and emails check in on my safe travels and international adventures. Lunches are planned with girlfriends (Lisa and Becky - see you next week) to catch up on all the little details that make up our lives. Life is good. Being home is great.

The real world also brought back a sad reality of a friend with a very ill infant. I had prayed for Daniel while in the Atlantic sky and return to learn that there are more severe diagnoses and potential challenges ahead. I wish there was 'time travel' for my girlfriend and her husband. I wish they could travel to a place where Daniel was well and they are able to laugh together as a family. I'd transport them to a place where they're happy not sad, rested and relaxed not stressed and where answers and solutions would reveal themselves. If only I really had the power of time travel.

But back in the 'real world' with a real time difference and still a bit of jet lag, I'm blessed to have friends, health, a sweet puppy, a warm house and a good life. Thanks friends for caring about me and my travels. Thanks girlfriends for the gift of your friendship and for all the happy memories of times together. And, if you're the 'praying kind,' please say a special prayer for Daniel and his parents. Pray that time will be a friend and that they will share great moments together.


P.S. One of my Christmas gifts from a very dear, thoughtful friend (and a wonderful gift buyer!) was from my friend Terri who gave me "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was the perfect book to read while traveling and while pondering big life questions. For me, it was a very spiritual, uplifting book that made me look at people differently. Like on the Paris train with the gypsy accordion players, I noticed people's eyes and tried to see the beauty in every person. During my many sleepless nights I prayed for Daniel and my friends and to learn the lessons that I need. Thanks Terri! It was great to have something from you with me in Germany and France. It really made my trip much more meaningful and enjoyable!

More Girlfriends - More Thanks! More Blessings!

This has been a tough week. Our great golden, Stella, had to be put to sleep a week ago today and nothing seems the same as when she was such a part of our life. Our sleeping and eating, laughter and tears, coming and going are all different now.

The one stabilizing constant is our friends. Girlfriends, neighbors, coworkers, family ... so many have sent cards, wrote emails, left flowers, mailed gifts, etc. It has been so comforting to know that they care about us and understand the grief of losing a beloved family pet.

Specifically I'd like to thank just a few of our friends for their thoughtfulness:

* Bridget - our former neighbor who recently had family sadness to deal with, still made the effort to write a beautiful note and leave us some chocolate and wine (which, in keeping with her/my/Stella's hair color was a "Redhead Red")

* Liz & Jeff, Nikki & Todd, Shelley & Dave - neighbors who have dogs and understand our sadness, left flowers and cards

* Ellen & Doug - former neighbors and wonderful friends who we called with the news because they loved Stella too. They sent a very thoughtful and yummy gift from their cabin in northern Michigan.

* Anne, Penny, Becky, Dana & Bear - who spent time with us comforting and serving as a much needed distraction and respite

Too many to name them all but each of them special and loved. We still are sad but with friends like these, we know we are blessed beyond measure. Thanks for being a friend. Thanks for caring, thoughtfulness and your kindness.

Pet your animals. Rescue/adopt a stray. Call a friend. Write a note. Give a hug. Count your blessings. Thanks friends!

Furballs, Hugs and Girlfriend Gratitude

Stella, our beloved 12-year old golden retriever, is very sick. It happened quickly and we're unsure of what the coming week will bring. We had to take her to the emergency vet yesterday and we've even slept on the living room floor since she's unable to go up stairs and we want to be near her. It breaks my heart to see her suffer and I'm just torn up by even the thought of losing her.

To some people, this may be silly. Dogs are just animals. Pets are just vehicles for furballs and the signature of a messy house. But to my girlfriends, who love me and therefore love what I love, they feel my pain. Ellen, Amy and Colleen offered their sympathy and positive thoughts last night at dinner. I ran into Barb and Ruth Sara this morning when I was crying. Their hugs and concern were genuine and so appreciated. Ruth Sara called Becky who then called to check in on me and Stella. Jill wants an update tomorrow on what our Vet says. I called another Barb (my college roommate) who consoled me. I emailed other college girlfriends, Laurie, Rhonda and Deana, knowing that they care and heard back that they do. Terri returned my email with her thoughts and concern for me and for Stella. (Stella is pretty loved by all who've met her - which also means everyone on whom she has shed!)*

Friendship is just like that. You love your friends so much, that what is important to them is also important to you. Female friends are the best because they genuinely care about the little and big things in life. Sure, she is 'just a dog,' but my girlfriends know that Stella is really part of our family. That isn't silly to them.

Thanks to my girlfriends for caring about me - and Stella. And, for all those times you've supported your friends through their little and big issues, thank YOU. Girlfriends are no accident. We're all here to help each other through the little, big and furry stuff. Thanks for caring.

* P.S. As I write this, I am overwhelmed with the blessing of so many girlfriends and so much love and care I have received just in the past 24-hours. If you ever feel lonely or just want to feel more blessed, take note of the support your friends offer by writing in a Girlfriend Gratitude journal. I do this each morning and it blesses my entire day thinking back over how wonderful my female friends are to me. Just write down all the great women in your life and how they bless you in a blank pad of paper or journal, or on a calendar. Soon you'll have wonderful reminders of the fabulous female friendships you're blessed with!

Having great Girlfriends is as stylish as ... Heather Locklear?

On Wednesday evening at our weekly girlfriend group meeting, I announced that I needed a haircut but had no idea what to do. As someone who had long hair (that I cut myself) almost my entire life, I'm not well versed in how to find a good haircut much less how to direct a hair stylist. In fact, I've only paid for my hair to be cut about five or six times - in my life! I'm a novice and I severely needed girlfriend advice. And, knowing that I was planning to go back to the salon school where students cut hair, I wanted to give great direction in order to get a good cut.

Thankfully my girlfriends came to the rescue! Becky thought layers would help my hair curl. Tina even sent me this Heather Locklear celebrity photo as well as great stylist tips -point tips, no razor, etc. Other girlfriends also gave advice. Karen told me the right products to use to bring out the curl. Lisa warned about getting layers cut too short.

I cautiously presented the celebrity hairstyle to my stylist/student April. Would it be too difficult for a student? Could I expect a somewhat complicated cut for $10? And, would they think I was delusional and actually thought I'd look exactly like Heather Locklear when I left there?!

But, I felt like I had my girlfriends with me. I explained to April and her instructor that the hairstyle and advice came from my girlfriends. They understood and came up with a plan. A few hours later, I walked out with a very nice cut. I'm no Heather Locklear (it would take several million dollars of plastic surgery and a small miracle for that!) but I can't wait to go show my girlfriends. In fact, I'm going to see Tina this afternoon at her pillow shop. I'm sure she'll approve.

Sure, in the big scheme of things - haircuts are minor (well, kind-of!). Aren't you glad girlfriends are there for the little and the BIG stuff? Where would we be without girlfriends? Lonely, bored, poorly dressed and with a bad hair cut?

Girlfriends are instant face(and attitude)-lifts, as well as always making it a good hair day! Female friends reduce stress, make us healthier and happier. And, girlfriends are great for giving advice and for helping us through little and big life decisions. Be the girlfriend you want to be! Make your girlfriends feel special, loved and beautiful. You'll come out feeling as stylish as Heather Locklear, without those pesty paparazzi!

Bartering ideas and dreams ... the girlfriend way.

I offered to pay my friend Karen for consulting. She has knowledge that I want, so of course I wanted to compensate her for that - as I should. She, being the sweetheart that she is, suggested that we meet for dinner and I could buy and she could share. What a perfect barter!

Dinner tonight was informative and interesting, filling and fun! I believe we both had a wonderful evening. We shared goals/strategies that I know we'll cheer for each other for years to come.

Do you have a girlfriend you trust and admire their opinion? Invite them to dinner to give you a new perspective on things. Or, if you have a friend who needs some encouragement in reaching their dreams (and you're the positive, supportive friend who can help!), plan time together - soon.

Girlfriends don't age - they reduce age (and they reduce stress!). Girlfriends don't discourage - they stand up and cheer for you even when you don't feel like there is anything to feel good about. Be the girlfriend you want to be! (Thanks Karen!!)

Girlfriends all over the place!

I love big cities! The energy, the styles, the diversity, the food!! And I love walking and people watching in big cities.

I was in Chicago last weekend and I noticed something else that I love. It doesn't take very long to see girlfriends - walking, talking, laughing, shopping, just enjoying time with each other. From little girls and their moms on the way to/from the American Girl store, to white-haired women in comfy shoes tracking through the city together, to business women taking a break from work by sitting outside and sharing their professional and personal lives ... each friendship is to be appreciated and enjoyed as a gift.

There is definitely a positive energy that happens when girlfriends connect. We feel more alive, more ourselves, completely loved and accepted for who we are.

Look around. What friendships do you notice? What do you feel when you're with your girlfriend(s)? Content? Happy? Inspired? Blessed? Enjoy your friends. Appreciate each moment. Big city or small town, spend time with the wonderful women you are blessed with as friends. Life is good!