Hangin' with LL Cool J

Okay, no. It isn't the rapper. I'm not that cool! I am cool enough (thankfully!) to have a girlfriend who is cool and still will hang out with me. Lisa J (aka: LL Cool J), another girlfriend - Katie and I met for lunch today. (I've totally given up on the 'no lunch' rule - remember it is actually "girlfriend therapy" and that is definitely worth the cost of a taco salad!)

LL Cool J and Katie are both younger than me (though I'll never admit how much!) and single. I'm basically an old, married, semi-boring friend. God love them if they don't make me feel so welcome and wanted, even if I don't have exciting date stories or the stamina to match them for late night beverages!

After lunch, LL Cool J called me to tell me she'd visited the blog, loved it and wondered if our lunch would make it into it. Well, here it is! Next time I'll take a photo so I can post your cool picture!

Diversity, be it age, ethnicity, social, financial or marital status, is such a great thing among girlfriends. That common bond of just enjoying each other's company, laughing together, sharing life together is, like Lisa, just cool!

I learn so much from my girlfriends - whether their older, younger, look like me, share my beliefs and status - or not. Personally I think that is one of the amazing benefits of spending time with female friends. Life is much better with a girlfriend to share it with.

Have a coworker or former coworker who you enjoy their personality? Remember an old friend who always made you laugh and feel appreciated? Know a girlfriend who could use a little attention and support? Pick up the phone. Email. Send a note. Reconnect. I know you'll discover how cool it is to be friends with them.

Lunch with Carole

Okay, so once again there goes my aforementioned 'no lunch out' rule! Today I had lunch with Carole, a co-worker who has become a good friend. She and I share a lot of corporate experiences (and often frustrations!), an interest in our city/cultural events, restaurants and movies, and more - including our entrepreneurial dreams.

I shared my passion for Girlfriendology and pursuing a business that connects women with their girlfriends to just make life better! She confided her future plans to open a B&B and to pursue her passion for food/cooking. (Having visited her B&B-ready home and tasted her cuisine, I know she has exactly what it takes to be successful!)

It's so nice to connect with a girlfriend. To find out you have more things in common. To learn little insights into their sense of humor, beliefs and even dreams. It was the first lunch we've shared together, but it won't be the last. And, throughout our corporate or entrepreneurial status, I have a girlfriend who will help me (gladly!) break my 'no lunch out' rule! Thanks Carole!

When girlfriends bless your life without even trying ...

I mentioned Char in the last blog. She hosted the amazing shower I was honored to attend on Saturday. Her home reflects her sunny personality and her warm nature. (And her dog is dang cute too!)

After reading the blog on Cyndi's shower, she shared the following quote with me:

When you believe that nothing significant can happen through you, you have said more about your belief in God than you have said about yourself.

Henry T. Blackaby & Claude King, Experiencing God

Without knowing it, she encouraged me to follow my dream of inspiring women to appreciate and celebrate their girlfriends. And, definitely without intending it, I received it on the exact day that another girlfriend needed for me to share it. She is at a crossroads and that quote gave her 'goosebumps.' It confirmed to her that she is moving in the right direction and that she needs to believe in herself.

So, again - thanks Char! And thanks to all the fabulous female friends who offer up encouragement to their girlfriends. You'll never know the ripple effects that your comments start and the difference that your positive energy has on your girlfriends and their friends. Now that is significant!

The Girlfriend Quilt (at a baby shower??)

A first-time expectant mom in her early forties, Cyndi was the focus of a fun baby shower yesterday. Her friends Char and Kim hosted the lovely lunch/shower and about a dozen plus girlfriends were on-hand to celebrate this joyous occasion.

Cyndi was not only surrounded by a mini-mountain of gifts, she was surrounded by her girlfriends from all areas of her life - former and current coworkers and neighbors, women she shared rides to work with or grew up knowing, girlfriends she'd made along the way. She has grown quite a league of girlfriends in her lifetime and how wonderful for us to all meet each other.

Driving away I thought about the different women I'd met. From a young mom with newborn nursing to grandmothers and professional executives, all walks of life and different professional/social status. I know that having us all together was most fun for Cyndi. She wanted us to meet each other, to connect and to know her better by the women in her life. The image of a quilt came to mind. Various segments of cloth, all beautiful in their own way but also very different. However, when joined together, form a gorgeous tapestry of color and pattern, a beautiful piece of art.

Cyndi is wrapped in this beautiful girlfriend 'quilt.' Surrounded by love and laughter. Warmed by friendship and support. Hugged by arms of forever friends and women who celebrate this wonderful miracle going on in her and her husband Jim's lives. And all of us are blessed to be sewn together by knowing Cyndi and equally warmed by her friendship.

Thanks Cyndi (and Char and Kim!) for bringing us all together. And, most of all, for sharing your life with us. We're the lucky ones! (And we can't wait to meet baby Daniel!)

We are Powerful Beyond Measure!

At my recent entrepreneurial girlfriend's group we very candidly shared the fear we experience when we set high goals or stretch ourselves. I remembered the following quote but obviously couldn't share it verbatim, so ...

for Becky, Tina, Joyce, Judy, Paula and other females with high ambitions and big dreams:

By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"

Actually, who are you NOT to be?

You are a Child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory that is within us. And, as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

(Thanks Marianne!)

Girlfriends all over the place!

I love big cities! The energy, the styles, the diversity, the food!! And I love walking and people watching in big cities.

I was in Chicago last weekend and I noticed something else that I love. It doesn't take very long to see girlfriends - walking, talking, laughing, shopping, just enjoying time with each other. From little girls and their moms on the way to/from the American Girl store, to white-haired women in comfy shoes tracking through the city together, to business women taking a break from work by sitting outside and sharing their professional and personal lives ... each friendship is to be appreciated and enjoyed as a gift.

There is definitely a positive energy that happens when girlfriends connect. We feel more alive, more ourselves, completely loved and accepted for who we are.

Look around. What friendships do you notice? What do you feel when you're with your girlfriend(s)? Content? Happy? Inspired? Blessed? Enjoy your friends. Appreciate each moment. Big city or small town, spend time with the wonderful women you are blessed with as friends. Life is good!

Girlfriend Therapy - with a cup of water, please

Okay, now I'm just getting spoiled! Two weeks ago my girlfriend Becky ("The Kitchen Goddess!") and I met for lunch to discuss doing Girlfriend Dinner Parties. (Wouldn't that be a blast!) Last week, I called her on a bad day and she dropped everything to meet me for lunch again. This week, on a kinda uncertain week for her, we met again for lunch.

As I left for lunch and thought about this new 'schedule,' I felt the guilt I was raised on to save money and that I had planned (once my girlfriend Angie left the company!) to not go out to lunch anymore. Okay, granted we do a pretty cheap restaurant, but in principle I wondered if I was breaking my own 'budgetary rule' and if that was a bad thing.

NAWWW! It took just a second to reclassify 'lunch' into 'girlfriend therapy.' Our weekly chats have been just what I (and hopefully Becky) needed to de-stress, laugh and just share our lives together. I believe we actually NEED time with our girlfriends and any opportunity to be together should be grabbed and celebrated.

So, thanks Becky for our lunches and conversations. Thanks for sharing and caring. And thanks for always giving great advice and sending me back to work in a MUCH better mood than I would have been with another Lean Cuisine in the lunchroom!

Call a girlfriend. Make a date. Coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, a walk, shopping, hanging out and watching Oprah - whatever you can fit into your schedule. Do it. (now!) Then post your comments and ideas for more "Girlfriend Therapy." (And it is much cheaper and fun than a going to a real therapist!)

Family Traditions - with Girlfriends who become Family!

This was the third year that I have accepted the invitation from my fun friend Penny to join in on her street 4th of July event. 150-200 current and former neighbors (and random friends of neighbors, like me!) lined the street dressed in red, white and blue. After reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and trying to sing every patriotic song (lead by a retired military General!), the kids race decorated bikes down the street with the General marching to a boombox of more music. It is Americana on the perfect day to be an American!

I love this tradition. Partly for the hilarious kids and wonderful celebration, but also very much because my friend Penny is family. She borrows/shares things, speaks her mind on politics and books, hosts celebrations thoughout the year, feeds us and equally feels comfortable in our home or with us in hers. Without planning it, she has become a lifelong friend with whom I hope to share this wonderful 4th of July tradition as long as physically possible!

Do you have a girlfriend who is closer than any family members? Or a special group of female friends who have become your sisters? Count yourself very lucky and blessed. And, when invited to get together or do something kinda 'family-ish' - do it! You can never have too many girlfriends and you can't buy the kind of support and love that you will find when you let a girlfriend into your life as part of your family! (Thanks Penny! Looking forward to next year already!)

Guaranteed Stress Reliever - seriously!

It has been a stressful week. Employee/boss issues (not fun!), having too much to do and not enough time to do what I really want to do (build Girlfriendology!), and family challenges combined for an elevated stress level.

UCLA researcher Shelley Taylor (author of The Tending Instinct) and her team studied stress in women. (Previous studies were only on men!) They found that oxytocin is released with stress. For men, the response is 'fight or flight.' For women it is much different. Women react to stress with a need to 'tend and befriend.' We want to tend to our young and be with our girlfriends. (My oxytocin level was HUGE this past week!)

Thursday night was our monthly women-only book club. We shared appetizers, desserts, sangria and some (albeit minimal!) discussion of the book. Mostly we 'befriend' each other. Our conversations cover new restaurants nearby, houses bought/sold on the street, funny stories of kids, helpful things like a good handyman or special event in the neighborhood. If the windows are open, our laughter is heard several houses away. We even share sad, difficult news - because life is that way too sometimes.

At the end of an always fun evening, we return to our homes with tales of neighbors and community updates. 'Magically' my mind had left the stressful work worries and other challenges. I was renewed in my passion for creating Girlfriendology and hoping to help women build community with each other - as a priority and a fabulous biological characteristic of women.

I didn't get The Tending Instinct on the book list for next month, however I did experience the stress relief that comes only from being with my girlfriends. Thanks wonderful women of East Hyde Park for reducing my oxytocin level and for being the kind of girlfriends who really make this community home.

Girlfriends ... the umbrella of bad stuff?

I was completely honest with my girlfriends in our weekly get-together last night. (Yes, weekly - we are a priority and it is definitely worth it! THANKS Paula's (2!), Becky, Melody, Ruth Sara, Tina and Judy.)

It has been a tough week. Work is much more difficult than it should be and I'm desperately trying to get Girlfriendology (coming soon!) up and running - ASAP! My girlfriends are so supportive and loving. They are my cheerleaders and inspiration.

Right in line with our discussion on dealing with challenges and going through 'stormy' times, the clouds rolled in and the sky got really dark. As I drove home under a HUGE gray cloud, I could see clear sky in the distance. I just happened to be under the clouds at that moment but, like with my tough times, that would be temporary. And they helped me remember that.

Do you have a friend who you need be their 'umbrella' from the storms that life sometimes brings? Or, are you under a cloud yourself? Reach out to your girlfriends. Even if it rains on you or them, it is much more fun to be under an umbrella with a girlfriend who loves you.

Looking for the good ... in a not so good time

Beautiful, talented, smart, funny and kind are just a few wonderful descriptions of my friend Dana. College buddies, we've gone through moves, changes and challenges since we graduated. Our friendship has endured and grown - which is such a blessing to me.

It is so tough to see her fight cancer again. I wish I could do anything to help her or even take her mind off things for a while. I so much want to say just the right thing.

A girlfriend of her's recently had the perfect response to her situation. She asked Dana, "I know the bad stuff going on, but what good things are going on in your life?" It relieved Dana from talking about treatment and thinking about her great husband, Bear (another college buddy). It took her mind off the reality of work and trying to keep her energy during a stressful chemo season. It reminded her of the beautiful home, wonderful life and so many loving friends that she has. (I wish I'd said it - but I'm so glad someone did!)

So Dana, thanks for reminding me to remember the good things. And thanks for teaching me to, if needed, help you remember the good things too. (And thanks for being one of the very good things in my life. I love you - you are my sister.)

Get Well Wishes ...

My fabulous friend Cathy is recovering from surgery. I got the message it all went well, but I can't wait to talk with her and get her version of that! I hope she is resting comfortably, that her family is taking great care of her and that she has good drugs when/if she needs them.

How have you tended to a girlfriend who has been sick? Have you written cards? Visited? Sent or delivered flowers? Showed up with a can of chicken soup and a couple chick flick DVDs?

Great girlfriends deserve pampering and I'd love to do that for Cath - and hope to when she's up to visitors. Let me know what you've done (or had done for you) for taking care of your girlfriends. Be well, dear friend!

Boating along with Ellen

My girlfriend Ellen (and her husband, Doug) have a boat and last night we joined them on the Ohio River. Threatening rain, we braved it and went out for an evening together.

As we sat in the back and let the boys drive and talk, we caught up on life. Her cute kids, our work challenges, upcoming travels, fashionable belts and painting our toenails - important stuff! Just things you share when you share life with someone - no matter how often or seldom you get to spend time together.

As we pulled into the dock at the end of the night, the rain started - perfect timing! We docked, covered up the boat and ran for our cars. It was a perfect evening. We had shared laughs, concerns, wishes, our lives. And our time together will be another memory that we'll share - together.

What can you do to create a memory for yourself and a friend? What event, fun plans, 'sharing opportunity' should you take advantage of? Go for it! Even in the rain, the great memories take place when you're together. Don't miss out on any of them - especially among girlfriends!

So nice to talk with a girlfriend ...

As we walked to the Greekfest last night (an annual tradition!), my college roommate best friend Barb and I walked ahead of the group so we could catch up. Between conversations ranging from underwear to husbands, the satisfaction of growing flowers to what her kids are up to, we reconnected (as we always do).

I love those times. When I can just be myself and know that my girlfriend will understand, listen, care, share and be there for me. In my opinion, there is nothing so wonderful as connecting with a dear friend.

Our underwear and husbands are different, as are the flowers in our gardens but we always feel so close and connected. Who do you need to reconnect with? What conversations could you have over a nice walk and talk together? Call. Phone. Email. Plan. Girlfriends are worth it. (Thanks Barb!)

Girlfriends Unite ...

My wonderful girlfriend Becky is a self-proclaimed 'foodie.' She (aka: "The Kitchen Goddess"!) is a personal chef, food demo'er, instructor, even radio personality. She knows food and serves our girlfriend group meals on a regular basis. (She is a wonderful friend to have!)

Today we decided to join forces - combing The Kitchen Goddess and Girlfriendology. Together we'll host girlfriend dinner parties with personalized menus, cooking lessons and other fun girlfriend get-together surprises. (Maybe a massage before dinner, then you and your girlfriends have dinner together in your robes???)

What ideas do you have on fun get-togethers we can do? What fun events have you hosted or attended with your girlfriends? Isn't it always worth the time and effort?!?!

From my girlfriend Barb - thanks!

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

BUT - Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you, or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and extended family all bless our life.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.

THANKS GIRLFRIENDS!

Need Support? Start a Girlfriend Group!

Today was the first meeting of my entrepreneurial girlfriends group. Tina (who does interior design/pillows - Casa Delorenzo), Becky (the chef, self-proclaimed 'Foodie') and Judy (a technical and all other kinds of writing guru). Each of us are thankful for our creative nature but also deal then with having too many ideas sometimes, and not knowing exactly what direction in which to head!

Our group shares what is going on in our entrepreneurial businesses, the challenges we face and our goals. We each try to assist with solutions, ideas and connections. Basically, we just try to be each other's girlfriends - offering anything we can to help each other be successful and happy.

Do you have entrepreneurial dreams? Or would you just like to talk about how you're handling life and see if others might be able to make the journey more fun? Start a girlfriend group. Set a schedule that doesn't cause stress. Find a common place to meet - like a coffee shop or restaurant. Invite friends (maybe some that have common goals/situations) and let them invite some of their friends. Keep it 'no stress' by not taking it personally if someone isn't interested in joining or misses get-togethers. (Food, or at least coffee, are especially helpful in keeping the group together and having wonderful conversations over!)

Don't be shy. Having girlfriends keeps us healthy physically and emotionally, reduces stress and just makes life more fun! Start a girlfriend group and share your stories/photos at Girlfriendology.com.

Enjoy life. Spend time with your girlfriends!

More Creative Girlfriends!

Once a long-haul, huge semi truck driver (seriously! for over 15 years!) my girlfriend Pam recreated herself. She found her inner artist soul and went from living on the road to becoming the editor of a top beading magazine - Bead Unique. She is living her dream now - working from home on a great publication, leading two beading trade show/education events, going to craft/hobby trade shows and doing what she loves.

And, she inspires me. It makes me think - if she can go from truck driver to magazine editor, what can I do if I set my mind to it? What direction will 'following my bliss' lead me? Isn't it time I recreate the life of my dreams?

What inspirational women do you have in your life? Friends, or even strangers, who have done amazing things are a great source of inspiration and pride. Look for others who recreated themselves and who live their life to the fullest. Now go be that type of woman and inspire others!

(And, thanks Pam! You rock!!!)

Happy Birthday Cath!!!!

Today is my very good friend Cathy's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Even though she doesn't live in a different state, with our wacky schedules, we don't get to see each other nearly often enough. However, the few times we spend time together each year are always a reminder why we should make the effort to be together more often.

Do you have a friend who, no matter how distance she lives, you'll always be close? Do you do certain things to make sure you don't lose touch? What do you recommend for being a great long-distance girlfriend? I'd love to hear. Because I'd love to try some of your ideas out on Cath so I can make sure she feels as special to me as she really is!

Vacation from Girlfriends?

For the past three days I've been hanging out in Chicago with my husband. I'm a lucky girl in that we have a great relationship and friendship. However, too much time away from my girlfriends makes me a little stressed. I enjoy the energy I get from my girlfriends and sharing the special bond of our friendship. I actually need my girlfriends to make my life complete.

I'm happy to be home. To see the dog and cat. To get to water my plants and get back to my routine. And I'm very happy to get to spend time with my girlfriends, like our weekly get-together tomorrow night. When I'm with them, I take a different type of vacation. One away from stress and one where I laugh, share and feel very loved. Thanks to my wonderful women buddies. You're great to come home to!